Small guy with huge bf

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Dec 14, 2004.

  1. Imported

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    Herble: I happen not to be "huge" at all, I'm just average but my bf has a large cock. I tend to get disturbed by the amount of men in general gay and supposedly straight that hit on him. I also have a hard time doing anything that "Feels good" to him with it cause it's so big.

    Anyone else have the same problems and how do you please him when there is so much to deal with?
    :blink:
     
  2. Imported

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    cegro27:
    Exactly "how much" does he have, and what have you already tried that hasn't worked? Has he ever told you what you could do to make it more stimulating for him? Is giving him a blowjob the problem, or is it anal, or both?? You can also search through the threads here, as there are undoubtedly many threads that have already been posted that may be of some use for you.

    As for the guys hitting on him, it doesn't really matter how many guys hit on him, as long as he's not offering them what he has. You would be the best judge of whether he's being true to you or not.
     
  3. Imported

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    Herble:
    Exactly "how much" does he have, and what have you already tried that hasn't worked? Has he ever told you what you could do to make it more stimulating for him? Is giving him a blowjob the problem, or is it anal, or both?? You can also search through the threads here, as there are undoubtedly many threads that have already been posted that may be of some use for you.

    As for the guys hitting on him, it doesn't really matter how many guys hit on him, as long as he's not offering them what he has. You would be the best judge of whether he's being true to you or not.
    [post=267300]Quoted post[/post]​
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    Well its both, he kinda thinks I'm a bottom for somereason and I really dont overly enjoy that. I mean I do on occasion but it usually hurts for quite some time before the pain goes away and the pleasure begins But oh well, I didn't have the same problem with "small" people but I did with anyone average to large
     
  4. Imported

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    cegro27: Well I would say your first step is letting him know that you're not comfortable being a bottom. I'm a bottom, and I know the reason I love being a bottom is because I love taking a huge cock deep inside of me. No one has to persuade me, or push me into it, I bottom simply because I love it. That in itself goes a long way in being able to overcome the inevitable pain of bottoming. If you're doing it just to please him or make him happy than you'll probably never be comfortable with doing it. Use should tell him how you really feel about it, and if he's versatile then maybe he can bottom on occasions, and that may help the two of you out to start with. Then you can work on tips and techniques to help make penetration more pleasurable. But first you've got to be honest with guy about "your" concerns and what "you" really like.
     
  5. Imported

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    Herble:
    Oh he does bottom on occasion, I just have a hard time gettin into anything other then"normal" possitions when I top him, trying to figure out ways to try to make it more interesting to him
     
  6. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

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    Herble, my partner is much smaller than me and it would be crazy if we didn't acknowledge it. We talk about everything and have found that just discussing things (sexual or not) usually avoids misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

    Perhaps you could talk with your boyfriend about how much his big cock turns you on but you're not always in the mood to bottom. I'm sure you and he can work out the other 1000 sexual things to do which will satisfy you both. Trust and honest constructive communication will help resolve this more than anything else.
     
  7. woskxn

    woskxn New Member

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    you definetley dont seem to be comfortable in the relationship when it comes to size of your dick. Since you titled this "small guy with huge bf". Otherwise it be titled with something along the lines of why your bf doesn't understand that you have needs to, and does your bf think that because he has the bigger dick he should be the top.

    I think the key is..you are not having as much fun as you can because he is so big (and it hurts) and you are worried to say anything. (in fear of losing him)

    I say..you have to talk to him. I think he probably get even a bigger ego boost by you saying that he will have to go slower and do certain things to make it more better for you.
     
  8. kinggalaxia

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    I'm in a similar problem but it's nothing that erks either of us. I know I'll bottom to him MUCH more than vice versa. :lol:
     
  9. Imported

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    Herble: Ok I have another question. Anyone have any advice on how to suck on something that large, I seem to have a problem most of the time getting it all in my mouth/throat and at times I cant get my mouth open wide enough and I know my teeth get in the way I've been told? Any suggestions?
     
  10. KinkGuy

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    Practice, practice, practice.
     
  11. Imported

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    carolinacurious: OK, you're not too worried to say anything to him because we know he's reading this. I'd love to know his thoughts, but while it's none of my business, I certainly hope this sparks a conversation between the two of you.

    How do all these strangers know how large your b/f is? Is it just that obvious? He certainly appears to be very handsome as well...

    About bottoming, there are a lot of good tips on the physical aspects in that "other thread" with kinggalaxia. Personally, it was the emotional part for me, I "knew" I had a bottom preference before I ever did it, dealing with the physical aspects of it all came later, quite a bit later in my case actually. It seems like it would be something you would know, if you were happy and satisfied with the earlier guys who weren't as large then it seems to me that you could be able to enjoy what you've got now with a little work.

    If your b/f has ever said his exact size here I've missed it and depending on the answer it may change my comments above. I also took your original post to mean you were smaller in stature (which just made things even more difficult) so some of the posts here have taken things in an unexpected direction (the psychological issue).

    As for oral sex, I have a slightly smaller mouth than usual and I think I know where you are coming from. I'm not a "size queen" but I have been with some very large men and there was only one that I just couldn't get in my mouth (no how/no way absolutely impossible without surgery, practice would not cut it). But lets assume the problem is not that extreme. Folding your lips back over your teeth helps and with really large guys it's pretty much a neccessity. Taking it back in your throat and getting it "slimed" up and then using your hands in conjunction with your mouth helps a lot and if done right feels really damn good. Some guys seem to have no gag-reflex at all but most of us aren't so lucky; and then some guys take a really long time to come. It's something I really love to do, but I know I've been in a situation where my lips are splitting, my face is raw, my throat hurts and my mouth is as dry as the sahara, he wants "just five more minutes" and I can't imagine more than 30 seconds. In hindsight, I would say pace yourself, fairly early do enough oral to get your throat relaxed but then switch to mainly your hands while you're licking/sucking the head and frenulum and save something for the end for a great finish.

    God, I need a boyfriend.
     
  12. madame_zora

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    Wow, that was hot! I either need a boyfriend or a cold shower.

    One of the best things I ever heard here about giving head was from DMW. We were talking about whether men or women were better at giving head and he said men were more likely to get into just "pigging out on cock". I love that image, I know I feel greedy for it when it's in front of me- at that moment, all I want in the world is to get as much of it as I can.

    I think the initial desire to do it must be there before there is much hope of ever getting great at it, and I mean desire to have cock in your mouth, not just desire to do as you're told. You seem unhappy with your "assignment" as bottom in your relationship, and possibly resent the work involved with giving head to a large cock, which admittedly is more work than an average one. Aside from resentment about his size and the inconvenience it presents, it is possible that you feel like number two in the pecking order because his dick is bigger, which wouldn't make me feel good either. Perhaps you are not a bottom, perhaps you are more versatile, but what about your lover? If he is a top only (which I have no idea), you may have some issues. I heartily agree with the previous posters that you really must discuss this honestly with him. Since I know he'll be reading this *kishes baby* I hope you are using this thread as a means of opening communication. Remember that BOTH of you deserve to be happy, that means even you.
     
  13. Bluespeedoz

    Bluespeedoz New Member

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    Hey

    You say that guys hit on your bf. I take he's only interested in you so I don't understand your difficulty. You also say that you bottom for him but that you don't always enjoy it because it can hurt though you haven't had this experience with smaller guys.

    I think you and your boyfriend have some communication issues that you need to iron out if your relationship is to continue. So talk to him frankly about how guys hitting on him makes you feel - (perhaps he can provide the reassurance you seem to need), about that you don't always want to bottom and about other positions and techniques you would like to experience with him. Take the opportunity to work out together what you want from your relationship.

    If you don't get reassurance and what you want sexually from him maybe you need to walk away and find someone who can meet your needs. After all there's nothing much he can do about being hit on by other guys (you wouldn't expect him to wear a sign saying "don't hit on me" would you?) or having a big dick which I take it he is very happy with.



    -_-
     
  14. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

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    Herble, has any of this been helpful? I think everyone has been saying that communication is the key to success here.

    Do you let him know when he's topping you that it hurts?

    Sometimes I can't tell if I'm hurting my boyfriend or if I'm turning him on. One grunt sounds the same as the next to me. I check in -- especially right in the beginning as he starts to accommodate my cock -- if he's okay. If the grunts start coming faster, I ask: "you okay?" Nine times out of ten, he nods and pulls me in deeper. But once in a while, he'll gasp: "more lube!"

    It's up to you to tell him when it's uncomfortable.
     
  15. Imported

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    Herble:
    Yes it's been very helpful, thanks :)
     
  16. Imported

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    TripodMillenium: have you tried combining tactics?

    like stroking him while topping? some lube... hand all the way around.... long strokes all the way up and down.....

    Especially if you are sure to hit his prostate at the same time..... Should make for quite something to remember.... especially if you do it with confidence.....


    ((then again.... I may not know too well.... not exactly experienced.... :( but I imagine a Sherman-like tactic may help.... ;) ))
     
  17. Imported

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    Herble:
    :) Thanks Dude :)
     
  18. ashlar

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    Everyone has made some very intresting and valid points as well as suggestions.
    I'll add what I can, although admittedly i'm not feeling well today and thus I promise to be extreamly chaotic with this post :p

    I am versitile, I like both and require both. From what Herble has always TOLD me, he is of the same likeness. Now, i'm seeing in this post him saying otherwise.

    *in as non bitchy a tone as possible I say* Consistancey, please.

    Romanticisim is something I feel I'm being denied, which I've grown to resent, and I've made this no secret to ANYONE. In my mind, this is one of the larger issues, I find myself being less and less romantic (I think so anyways) because I don't feel i'm getting my fair share, and i'm not completely certain why that is, or at least in my current headspace it's not comming to me.

    Fantasies: Yes .. I have them. Yes I'm open to discussing them, with anyone and everyone, not to bitch about not having them fufilled though that does happen, but to gain inside and ideas from others who have been in similar situations as far as the fantasy itself, as well as the relationship aspects. While many of my fantasies have been approached, it has not been in a serious manner ... it's all been very tongue in cheek. Thats fine, I've no problem with giggling and experimentation ... I'm all for that, but whatever your going to do, no matter what that may be ... MEAN IT. Does that make sense?

    Communication: I'm all for communication, I'm constantly communicating whenever I can think straight, which at times seems seldom. However, please keep the agression to a minimum, when I see agression I get defensive, when I get defensive I can get unnessicarily cruel. Despite how many people choose to view me as sweet, the truth is i'm much more, like anyone else I have what some may consider to be faults, while others may not, one of which is most certainly my bitchyness. I spent a large portion of my life ... a good 19 years of it ... being walked upon and letting people back me into corners, this is the likely cause of my often overly domineering nature. I do not wish to argue or become aggressive, however if I feel the slightest push, i'll push back 10 fold without thinking ... hence the occasional foot in mouth syndrome. Aside from that, and perhaps in bed, I don't feel as though I'm an overly aggressive person unless i'm annoyed with shit and then I blow up easily though no fault of Herble's, Those times are probably the times when I MOST need to be held and loved and once that has calmed me down, I'll be more open to discussion, or perhaps after a nap, a hot bath, and/or a sound shagging.

    I am a bitch at times, oh yes indeedy, I am very sweet ... I'll buy that too, I'm moody, introspective, difficult, and childish. Loving me, means loving that as well. I'm sure Herble will recall ... "All my light ... love my dark" ... EVERYTHING.
    If at any point anyone does not feel up to the challange of dealing with me, just let me know, arrangements can be made for a time out, or whatever may be nessicary. I know i'm difficult to deal with, I have a hard time dealing with me sometimes. I realize i'm not always the brightest apple in the bunch, often times not; that I do some stupid shit; that i've done some things that are horrible, and i've no problem admitting my faults as I percieve them. However, this does not give anyone the right to use those things against me on a daily and often hourly basis, I still am as worthy as anyone else of respect and forgivness. In the grand scheme of things, I could be widely reguarded angelic in compairisin to the etrocities commited by others on a scale far larger than I can conceieve of.

    I understand that Herble and I are beginning anew, and that there is fear inhearant in beginnings. I am WILLING, not merely TOLERANT, but WILLING to deal with that for better or for worse, for i've enough love in my heart to consume the very soul of another who holds the keys to such power. I'm even willing to GIVE those keys up, but one must be willing and open to accepting them though acceptance of who and what I am, understanding, and above all things love; and once a key is given, please use it, i beg of you.

    The public, the forums, my correspondances: I've no problem discussing these things, or any other things, in a public forum such as this. I feel a certain amount of safety in that, and with our privacy issues at home, and our conflicting work scheduals, this works for me, with or without the input of others. It's funny that I feel privacy in a public forum such as this, but I believe the key lies within the fact that this is online, it's fairly anonymous, it's quiet, and I can turn it on and off, deal with things when i'm ready and able to deal with them. Also, there is a tacit understanding between myself, and the others who read and corrospond with me, and I am thankful for that.

    As far as me talking to others on here: I'm not trying to get jiggy with anyone. I am attracted on whim to various things and people for various reasons, if that attraction were as great, or more so, than that which I hold for Herble, I would not be sitting here in this room, in this place, right now. Yes, i enjoy a bit of the attention sometimes, and sometimes I even dare to think I deserve it.

    Yes, I end up being a bit of a flirt sometimes. TOATLLY cant help that ... I don't even have to try and it happens, and to be perfectly honest it's nice to know that i'm desireable even when neither party has any intention to act upon that desire for whatever reasons. I'm not taking it to a dark place, or to any extream, i've no illicit intentions, and even if that were the case, everyone is far far far away from me unfortunately, as this is my only outlet as far as friends are concerned save for one from school (kristyn). Those that I choose to communicate with are not trying to push or pull me into anything, and if I feel that to be the case, I simply stop communicating. Sometimes, I just don't realize it untill later rather than sooner. I want to be a bit nieve again, I want to believe that people are truely intrested in me, who I am, etc. etc. and sometimes that desire gets the better of me. Experience, has shown me to act with care, while still being able to love. Also, this gives me something to do when i'm board and need a break from everything I SHOULD be doing.

    If at any point Herble needs my full attention, or to discourse, all he need do is ask me and I will wrap up my conversation or post on here and my undivided attention will be soly upon him. I've made this as clear as I can. I will not consider that an act of disrespect twords my being. However, attempting to jump my shit no matter what, or yap at me while i'm in the middle of something without respecting enough to give me a moment to finish up, will have adverse effects upon anyone who attempts as such.

    I can yap, type, write, scream, open a veign, and bleed myself dry and still not be able to articulate the specifics of my being to any one person unless they are able, and most certainly WILLING to simply understand. I require reflection, introspection, time, and patience. If me posting, chatting, whatever on here, bothers Herble he can ask me to stop, and I will untill he's confident in my intentions, or untill I go mad(der?) if that be required.

    Moral of this melodramatic tale:

    Give me the moon, and I will take you to the heart of the sun.

    "Jangle Jangle
    Jingle Jangle
    Jangle then circle again"

    *NOte: I'm not spellchecking this ...i'm too exhausted to even reread it. I'm sure some of it sounds overly evil, or something maybe ... but I don't care that wassnt the intent so choose to understand the intent, or not I leave that up to each individual. Herble may or may not understand any of this and my need assistance in my absence. Or, Herble darling, you can ring me at work. *love* :wub:
     
  19. txquis

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    :unsure:

    Wow.
    Now I feel like I'm eavesdropping on a private conversation
     
  20. ashlar

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    Ohhh is it turning you on at all? :p

    hehehehe
     
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