"Small Talk" Board?

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lttle1: I wonder what people would think of a sub-board for dialogue between well hung guys and small hung guys. As a small dicked guy, I often want to step into discussions with comments and questions but feel it's not my place to shift the focus away from support for the large guys. Would enough big guys be interested in talking about size issues with small dicked guys to warrant a separate board?

There would probably be overlap with the "Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy" board, but that board is really for big guys talk about those issues, not to discuss those issues with small guys.
 

Max

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[quote author=lttle1 link=board=admin;num=1037806144;start=0#0 date=11/20/02 at 07:29:04] As a small dicked guy, I often want to step into discussions with comments and questions but feel it's not my place to shift the focus away from support for the large guys.  
[/quote]

In the meantime, why not just "step in" and see what happens? It seems to me you wouldn't detract from the boards at all by doing that. This forum and its predecessors have never felt like an exclusive club, and I hope it never becomes one.
 
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lttle1: [quote author=Max link=board=admin;num=1037806144;start=0#1 date=11/20/02 at 07:46:24]

In the meantime, why not just "step in" and see what happens?  It seems to me you wouldn't detract from the boards at all by doing that.  This forum and its predecessors have never felt like an exclusive club, and I hope it never becomes one.[/quote]

Thanks, Max. On occasion I do post. I just think I would post more freely in a forum where big guys who are not interested in small dicked guys' perspectives and special questions wouldn't be forced to weed through that stuff to get to what the overall group is really about. Big guys who are interested in chatting about size with small guys could check out the subgroup regularly. Big guys who have no interest could skip it more easily than they could skip individual threads or post. Meanwhile, as you say, I will continue to post when appropriate.
 

B_DoubleMeatWhopper

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Dude, by all means jump into the fray. We're not about to laugh and point at you. Even the most phallocentric members here are civilised enough to know better than to criticise someone because of a small penis. This forum is for anyone interested in big cocks and their owners. That means you qualify. Some of big guys have issues because of our 'big guys'; it may be interesting to hear the flip side of the coin. Join in; we don't bite! ;)
 
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mindseye: [quote author=lttle1 link=board=admin;num=1037806144;start=0#2 date=11/20/02 at 09:26:13]I just think I would post more freely in a forum where big guys who are not interested in small dicked guys' perspectives and special questions wouldn't be forced to weed through that stuff to get to what the overall group is really about. [/quote]

People can skip over the stuff they don't like. If we start segregating topics to spare people from being "forced to weed through" them, then -- all the gay posts would get moved, all the creepy father-son posts would get moved, all the self-sucking posts would get moved, etc., and then pretty soon, the main LPSG page would be six miles long, full of way-underused microtopics. (How's THAT for a slippery-slope argument!)
 

Pecker

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mindseye, You mean a Small Penis Topic would be a Micro-topic? ;D ;D ;D

All seriousness aside, I would hope that the atmosphere here is welcoming enough that anybody would feel comfortable posting opinions.

Participation by all males, regardless of endowment, can only add to the already rich pool of support and advice we share here.

little1, don't ever feel you have to apologise for your size. Especially here.

You are among friends.

Pecker
 

Max

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I'm glad I'm not alone in wanting to welcome those with a small penis to this board ... but equally of course those with no penis at all have a big contribution to make. LOL
 
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lttle1: Thanks for all the encouragement, guys. This is really a great group. I still think a meeting of sizes would make a good sub-board, but I plan to pipe in more often anyway.
 
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View_From_Below: Lttl1,

thank you for making the suggestion and bringing the issue up. I too, as a small dicked guy, have always felt very reluctant to comment on topics on this board even when i think my comment is important. I have taken the view that I should be a polite guest, not a member of the board, since I certainly don't qualify as blessed with a big dick myself. (Though for sure I am interested in them, and constantly considering the MANY effects on personal interior and exterior life caused by having a big or a small dick.) For many of its members, the board is a forum for self congratulation and admiration, and I don't want to rain on that parade.

thanks even more to all the others who have posted in reply to Lttl1 with expressions of inclusion for those of us who are underendowed. We can't help what we got, and we face the same issues of masculine identity, sexual activity, relationships, etc as you do (though many of us wish we could do so with equipment like yours...). Thanks for the openness.

View From Below
 

jonb

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[quote author=mindseye link=board=admin;num=1037806144;start=0#4 date=11/20/02 at 11:26:20]
(How's THAT for a slippery-slope argument!)
[/quote]

Would you call that a phallacy of the bearded clam? LOL
 
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meathose10: I personally am very interested to hear feelings small guys have about those of us with big cocks. I myself enjoy seeing a little dick on a man and wonder about the opposite effects or drawbacks size can have socially and sexually compared to the hung huge guys on this board, for example. Over the years I've ceretainly loved the attention and admiration I've received from men without much to brag about below the waist. I love good-natured comparisons and any questions about my size. Several buddies of mine are small - they know about my large endowment and we frequently rib each other and laugh. One pal and I even fantasized about trading meat for a day - just to experience opposite ends of the spectrum. (Sure wouldn't want it to be permanent , though!) Thanks for posting, lttle1.........
 
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lttle1: [quote author=meathose10 link=board=admin;num=1037806144;start=0#10 date=12/12/02 at 09:45:05]I personally am very interested to hear feelings small guys have about those of us with big cocks. I . . . wonder about the opposite effects or drawbacks size can have socially and sexually compared to the hung huge guys on this board, for example. [/quote]

Meathose10 and everyone else who shares his curiosity, please ask any questions you'd like to about small guys. And don't be bashful about offending us lesser endowed guys; if we're on this board I think we are here for honest discussion. I'd be happy to answer your questions from my perspective. But perhaps you ask them on either the "Meet and Greet" or the "Relationships" board.
 
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View_From_Below: from Meathose:
"I love . . .any questions about my size. "

I share Lttle1's view:  ask, and you'll get honest answers.  The "opposite effects and drawbacks" socially and sexually may be enlightening to the wellhung.  And in turn, thanks for the offer to answer questions from us smallhung men.
VFB
 
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meathose10: Just a quick question here : would you small-dicked men say the word envy or admire applies most when you see a guy with big meat ? Or do either necessarily apply ? I feel uncomfortable sometimes if I get a sense of a certain type of envy that is really kind of bitter. Admiration is great , though. It can do a lot towards male bonding. Do you think there is such a thing as a positive or friendly envy ? Is wishing you were well-hung yourself an unpleasant feeling or a neutral one? Curious....
 

D_Martin van Burden

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My only question pertains to how people respond to the bedroom. A small-dicked guy may use that "It's not the size of the boat..." adage and believe in it, but I've always heard it in jest. I got to thinking about it a bit more when I listened to TLC's latest single, "Girl Talk." If that's a representation of how women think of men in the bedroom -- "You think you got powers like Austin / when you lookin' more like Mini-Me." -- how do you handle it?
 
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View_From_Below: Sorry, I've been away. So, here's one man's response. It turned out longer than I thought it would, so it is basically a response just to Meathose's questions, not Dee's (yet).

For me, admiration is certainly the principal response when I see a well-hung man. But I have to say honestly that envy is never absent. And there is a third response, which is frustration. The admiration arises from the fact that a large penis is a beautiful thing, fascinating to see and experience, but most important it is the primary symbol of maleness and masculinity. The envy arises from the fact that this accident of genetics didn't land on me. The frustration arises from the fact that I can't affect the situation. I don't have this feature that society admires and I admire, and so I can't directly experience what it is like to wear it, enjoy it, give pleasure with it, be sought after for it, clothe it, display it, etc. And it's usually rare to find well-hung men who are open to talking casually about what it's like to have, or letting it be admired. That's one reason why this board is so enlightening.

Through the years I have always tried very hard to control the envy, to achieve what Meathose calls "friendly envy." I know that those who are well-hung are not responsible for my being small, or for the social or self-esteem struggles of the underendowed. (Those struggles can be excruciating.) And envy gets me nowhere. It doesn't change my endowment, and it drives a wedge between me and any well-hung man with whom I might possibly establish a friendship. My goal (usually achieved, but not always) has been to try not to dwell on what I don't have, but to use what I do have as best I can--and to be positive and admire what YOU have, and let admiration lead, hopefully, to a relationship where I can at least indirectly take pleasure in your gift.

We are all creatures of our society, which reinforces relentlessly that a large penis is the ultimate sign of masculinity. We breathe this in with oxygen, and we internalize it as part of our own values. Obviously one does not need a big dick to have a sex life, or find a partner, or make children, all of which I have done, but unquestionably bigger is better. If you are well-hung you have an advantage in social power equations. You are always a leader, an alpha figure, to whom others defer (unless you're such a jerk in personal qualities that you negate your natural advantage). Pre-eminence is yours to lose, whereas for small-hung men it's theirs to gain. And you always have many more options, socially and sexually (a brief comment on Dee's question). Yet all of us, large and small, are pretty much trying to do the same thing, which is to try to discern real manhood, and be the best man we can be, given our advantages or disadvantages.

Well-hung men are thrilled at their good luck, and you celebrate your big dick all the time (and you should). It shouldn't be surprising that small-dicked men would want to celebrate it as well. We share the same opinion that a big dick is a wonderful thing. And we can't change what we were dealt. So for me at least, I am always very appreciative of those who actually welcome admiration, and don't respond to respectful attention with gloating or contempt or disdain. I can be a star in many other aspects of manhood. In this aspect I can't be a star--but I can be a fan.

Sorry for the length! I just wanted to answer carefully. One man's point of view.

VFB
 
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meathose10: Appreciate the thorough reply , man...
    VFB , you're my opposite in terms of  the genital endowment , but very similiar to me in attitude. We would enjoy each other's company.  You're very lucid on this topic. Seems you've thought about it a lot. I think it's true that few big men make it possible for an under-endowed one to know what it's like to own a big , heavy cock. I think the larger guy might worry often about making his pal feel bad or envious more than the small guy might wonder about his desire to admire his buddy affectionately in that way.....I like when you said you hope in terms of relating to a big man "to be positive and admire what HE has and let admiration lead , hopefully, to a relationship where I can at least indirectly take pleasure in his gift." That outlook is so fucking rare. I don't know what stops most guys from that honesty.  My best friend is actually tiny. You can only see the head of his cock in his pubic hair when he's soft. Mine drops down my thigh.We share in MY experience with my whopper often . His interest in what it's like to possess something my size creates a very firm kind of male bonding. Our disparity is the glue in our relationship. If I'm on the street he'll notice who looks at my full bulge and comment on it to me. Half the time he's more aware of my cock than I am. He's said outright he wishes he had my cock. The next best thing often is to just hang out and focus on that fact. He wants to know what it's like to completely FILL a woman. I like describing it in detail. Once , drunk , he asked to hold it while I pissed. So I let him . We were in a bar at the urinal. He said he was pretending it was his. It was such an intense moment that I got too hard to piss. He was startled and kind of groaned. Had to stop that little game.....Not that I was worried about the gay thing - he's married , I have a steady girl - but I was afraid it might cause embarassment down the road and possibly alienate us. We've discussed fucking a woman together . Feeling him guide my big dick into her wet pussy would be just what the doctor ordered.! Our town is small , so caution has held us back. I doubt we'd have a problem finding her - he's built , I'm hung huge - what's to reject?
   I was struck by your statement too about the type of big-dicked guy who "responds to respectful attention with gloating or contempt or disdain..." What the hell is wrong with respectful attention ? I'll welcome it any day of the week. I suppose they worry you want them sexually. There IS such a thing as a sexually strong way of relating between men that doesn't mean you grab at each other. I mean , if men can compare and compete athletically , why not openly with cock size?
            You think the world will ever change, VFB?
 

D_Martin van Burden

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Pardon me for how intellectually thick this next posting appears. All this talk of how men relate to one another on the dick subject got me thinking about a work I read while studying at the university.

Luce Irigaray wrote a paper in which she defined the term "hom(m)osexuality." Not an error, the extra M was intended to represent relationships between men. She proferred a thesis that spoke, something to the effect of, the ways in which [heterosexual] men -- by many self-internalized forces simulating the shamefulness of men who aren't adhering to socially accepted masculine models -- "use" women to maintain relationships between each other. If men are merchants, women are the goods being traded back and forth. Essentially, what she was getting at was this: that men are so wrapped up in being the man society dictates they should be, that they forego other acceptable means of communication and bonding among each other. That's not to say we can't bond; we do all the time, but we don't do things like confide in each other, express feelings, openly show emotions, etc.

Anyway, back to where I'm going with this...

That's the funny thing about a big dick guy and a little dick guy having "relations" (not necessarily sexual ones) like what's been discussed already. The "relating" part seems overly wrapped up in discerning what's sexually overt and what isn't. Or, to be rather frank, why the little guy is so interested in the bigger guy's schlong? It's remarkable to know that sex isn't a part of the admiration -- that, really, the guys are secure enough to talk freely without feeling too "gay" while they do it. Then again, if you want my honest opinion, I don't think many guys out there exist who are simply cool with some dude noticing the size. Responses fit in two camps: (1) frightened by the attention paid by a guy or (2) so enthralled in the attention that they'll boast it, flaunt it -- in short act as corny as the porn stars involved in muscle worship videos.

You wanna feel this big, huge muscle?

I think if men are going to change in the way they relate to each other, dicks and all, ideas on what men are supposed to be next to evolve into something better than the neanderthalic conceptions in existence.
 

Max

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[quote author=DeeBlackthorne link=board=admin;num=1037806144;start=15#17 date=12/15/02 at 21:28:15] men are so wrapped up in being the man society dictates they should be, that they forego other acceptable means of communication and bonding among each other.  That's not to say we can't bond; we do all the time, but we don't do things like confide in each other, express feelings, openly show emotions, etc..[/quote]

I am a heterosexual guy who has always had a number of very close friendships with other guys ... not a huge number, but maybe a gradually increasing one, as I tend to keep friends by working reasonably hard at it. I have one or two lasting friendships which began at school, some at univ, different stages of career, and so on. So I am an exception to the rule propounded in the paper Dee quotes. And there are plenty of others; my observation is that men are just as good at friendship as women are, possibly in some ways better.

Of course, most of these guys will know that I am more than well endowed. And with my closest few friends, for a while way back in my teens it became a topic of discussion, almost all the time. But we moved on, grew up, became sexually experienced, and there were other things to talk about. Just as well. Because I would be very uncomfortable if I felt that one of my friendships had ever gone in one of the ways Dee describes, not so much towards sexual attention, but to immature flaunting on my part and the instilling of feelings of inadequacy on his.

But here on lpsg there is a chance to discuss the issues amongst a group of similar guys without the risk of being misunderstood. Sometimes I have corresponded with other lpsg members. If they are in fact smaller guys like VFB or little1, well, I have to admit that I have no problem at all in answering size related questions .. like many big guys I enjoy the chance to talk about my size with someone prepared to listen. It can give me a big head though ;) in more ways than one, and in the end, I feel it may not be good either for me or the guy at the other end ... penis size is a tiny fraction of what makes me a man, and there are other things to talk about.
 
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littlbigguy: A number of incredibly deep and sensitive issues have become intertwined in this thread and an important situation that I haven't recalled for many years came to my mind.

I had a roommate sophomore year of college who meant a lot to me. I loved him as a brother, or I should say we loved each other as brothers. I probably even has a "crush" on him, not in a sexual way, but in the way that post-adolescent guys can idolize a friend for one quality or another. He was well built and athletic, I was skinny and nerdy, so in that very conventional sense he seemed like much "more of a man" to me. Guess what particular manly physical feature he didn't have that I had. I was aware of him always taking very long looks when we showered together or when I took it out to pee or when I jumped out of bed with intractable morning woodies. His awe or fascination would pop up in conversation casually once in a while, like "can't find the ruler, maybe you've got a tool on you to measure it with" or "if you're breaking up with
her, not sure I'd want to be the next guy", just silly stuff like that, nothing really deep and serious.

He wore tighty whities and I wore boxers at the time. One afternoon I came back to the room from a cancelled chem lab and noticed a used pair of my boxers on his bed, mixed around with the rest of his bedding. I don't want to make this out to seem creepy, because I don't think that's what it really was, but the evident conclusion was that he'd been incorporating the undies I'd recently worn into his jerkoff routine that day. I had to figure this out. I didn't feel like this instantly degraded or humiliated him or that I was being violated or ripped off , because I loved my friend and even held him on a pedestal, I understood that his enactment probably meant nothing more bizarre than "let's pretend I have (littlbigguy)'s dick on me for a while, let's see what that feels like" -- which wasn't a terribly perverted or shameful or even surprising notion for him to have, come to think about it. To my credit, I never lost an ounce of respect for my friend over this incident

Now comes the part of this biographical story that I think is most directly relevant to the present thread. I never mentioned what I had seen to my friend, nor did I ever initiate a deep and serious conversation with him about the penis admiration / envy / curiosity thing. To ease my own mind at the time I wrote a little story, basically a variation on the ones where you trade dicks for a day, only in my sweet story a pair of magic boxer shorts would enable him to own my dick instead of his any time he put them on. I never showed the piece to him, nor to anyone else for that matter, and might never even have recalled it myself if not for all the stuff that gets discussed right here. The male bonding between my roommate and me was very inclusive, but it didn't go quite this far. Lttle1 and VFB have very beautifully and most cogently articulated a set of issues on this thread that doubtless my best friend could have expressed to me at the time. I would only have valued and respected him all the more for it, and would have grown as a man and as a friend myself by responding in kind. A big dick easily gets blown out of proportion as we know, but in the broad scheme of things it really isn't that important, certainly not compared to the essential qualities and identity issues and spiritual tasks that equally make us men and human beings.