View_From_Below: Sorry, I've been away. So, here's one man's response. It turned out longer than I thought it would, so it is basically a response just to Meathose's questions, not Dee's (yet).
For me, admiration is certainly the principal response when I see a well-hung man. But I have to say honestly that envy is never absent. And there is a third response, which is frustration. The admiration arises from the fact that a large penis is a beautiful thing, fascinating to see and experience, but most important it is the primary symbol of maleness and masculinity. The envy arises from the fact that this accident of genetics didn't land on me. The frustration arises from the fact that I can't affect the situation. I don't have this feature that society admires and I admire, and so I can't directly experience what it is like to wear it, enjoy it, give pleasure with it, be sought after for it, clothe it, display it, etc. And it's usually rare to find well-hung men who are open to talking casually about what it's like to have, or letting it be admired. That's one reason why this board is so enlightening.
Through the years I have always tried very hard to control the envy, to achieve what Meathose calls "friendly envy." I know that those who are well-hung are not responsible for my being small, or for the social or self-esteem struggles of the underendowed. (Those struggles can be excruciating.) And envy gets me nowhere. It doesn't change my endowment, and it drives a wedge between me and any well-hung man with whom I might possibly establish a friendship. My goal (usually achieved, but not always) has been to try not to dwell on what I don't have, but to use what I do have as best I can--and to be positive and admire what YOU have, and let admiration lead, hopefully, to a relationship where I can at least indirectly take pleasure in your gift.
We are all creatures of our society, which reinforces relentlessly that a large penis is the ultimate sign of masculinity. We breathe this in with oxygen, and we internalize it as part of our own values. Obviously one does not need a big dick to have a sex life, or find a partner, or make children, all of which I have done, but unquestionably bigger is better. If you are well-hung you have an advantage in social power equations. You are always a leader, an alpha figure, to whom others defer (unless you're such a jerk in personal qualities that you negate your natural advantage). Pre-eminence is yours to lose, whereas for small-hung men it's theirs to gain. And you always have many more options, socially and sexually (a brief comment on Dee's question). Yet all of us, large and small, are pretty much trying to do the same thing, which is to try to discern real manhood, and be the best man we can be, given our advantages or disadvantages.
Well-hung men are thrilled at their good luck, and you celebrate your big dick all the time (and you should). It shouldn't be surprising that small-dicked men would want to celebrate it as well. We share the same opinion that a big dick is a wonderful thing. And we can't change what we were dealt. So for me at least, I am always very appreciative of those who actually welcome admiration, and don't respond to respectful attention with gloating or contempt or disdain. I can be a star in many other aspects of manhood. In this aspect I can't be a star--but I can be a fan.
Sorry for the length! I just wanted to answer carefully. One man's point of view.
VFB