An accountant gets home late one night and his wife says "Where in the hell have you been?" He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo". A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates", he said proudly. "What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?" "Well, one, I like to watch my money grow, two, once in awhile I like to play with my money, three, I like how money feels in my hand and lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!!!"