Sneaky Men

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by B_Mademoiselle Rouge, Apr 26, 2010.

  1. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    There was an ad in the Adult Gigs section of Craigslist. It wasn't for anything major and was quite vague, so i responded to the ad with the anonymous email given through craigslist. I asked a few questions about what he was looking for exactly. I get this response back from the guy's wife:

    "Sorry hun you realy should watch who you reply to. This man is married with children and has no job to pay anyone and he lives with his mother in laws."

    Looks like this guy is having some extracurricular activities while he has been at home all day. I find it a tad sad that the woman is blaming the person who is responding to his ad and not the guy who placed the ad. I had to inform her how craigslist works and how i couldn't have made up an email address to respond to, that i clicked the link provided in the ad and that no one knows who the person is until they choose to respond back.

    I don't know whether to even feel bad for her since she jumped on me for responding. I have a feeling she wouldnt be checking his email if he didn't give her a reason to anyway. But it's this type of woman who has a sneaky man and blames others for her man being interested in other women.

    I also informed her that he requested photos along with the inquiries (which i did not provide) and that the ad was placed about a month ago incase she was investigating.
     
    #1 B_Mademoiselle Rouge, Apr 26, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2010
  2. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    I haven't had an experience with craigslist adult that didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth.

    But if we're going with anecdotes, I remember a story my mother told about one of her coworkers marriages blowing up after finding craiglist emails on her husband's computer, and got me to suspect that quite a few would-be cheaters are hard at work crafting ads.

    Do you mind posting the ad? I'm curious as to what kinds of adult postings real women actually respond to on craigslist
     
  3. petite

    petite New Member

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    A lot of women do that, blame the other woman instead of her man for straying. I've never understood that logic.

    I think some women believe that men can't help it, so there's a sisterhood that we're supposed to respect regarding other women's men. I do respect other women's relationships, but I wouldn't be blaming another woman!

    If TheBoyfriend were to ever betray my trust, and I really don't believe he ever would, then I would place all the blame on him. He's the one who has made me promises of fidelity, not some other woman!
     
  4. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    Yeah i feel bad that anyone would have to worry about their spouse looking elsewhere for sex. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to please someone, they will always have things going on the side. But there are also women who don't ever try to sexually please their husband, i don't know which one it is. But this lady obviously felt like i knew and should have known not to contact her husband. I had no way of knowing who wrote that ad and what kind of obligations they had to a woman or kids or anything.
     
  5. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    I just thought, maybe that woman was in denial. I mean, let's say the man was cheating because she could no longer be bothered to make the effort to satisfy him sexually. It would be easier to blame you - the siren - for leading her man astray than to acknowledge her own culpability. It's very likely that his cheating is a symptom of her utter failure as a woman and as a wife - how many people would be willing to own up to that?
     
  6. Gillette

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    I don't get it.
    How does her warning you that craigslist has scuzzy people like her husband on it translate to her blaming you? She uses the term "reply" so obviously she grasps that you didn't originate anything. The tone clearly isn't a happy one but I don't see where she's casting blame on you.

    Was there more to her original message than what you shared?
     
  7. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I asked what he was advertising for and the amount he was looking to spend for that particular thing. It was more of a voyeuristic thing, but who the hell knows what his intent was. I can't find the original ad now because it scrolled off the page in that category. It's no longer listed.

    I felt like she was telling me these things like i should have known that already. It sounded like she assumed i had spoken to him already. She sent this to me like 8 days ago and i totally forgot i created the email to have a craigslist account. So there is no telling what kind of responses he's gotten and the trouble he is in for it.

    But i think she doesn't understand how craigslist works or else she wouldnt be telling me to watch who i reply to, no one knows who they are replying to. You only know what they have said in their listing. If they didn't include they are married, with kids and living at their mother in laws house without a job- you can't know these things and have some sort of discretion as to who you are responding to if he doesn't reveal it.

    He has a lot to hide, for good reason, most sane people don't want to be doing things for a jobless, married father living with his wife's mom. I suppose it is a good deterrent to go ahead and let the responders know he's a complete loser so they don't agree to anything with him. I should have thanked her for that bit of knowledge i now have.
     
    #7 B_Mademoiselle Rouge, Apr 26, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2010
  8. Gillette

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    Your last paragraph is spot on about the anonymity of online ads. I'm thinking though if she read your reply asking for initial details that she knows you hadn't communicated with him prior.

    Think of her state of mind when she typed out that message. Heck probably several messages. I'll bet she felt like the back of her hear was on fire and ready to explode, guts wound tight with the violence she envisioned visiting on her husband. I'll bet that day her fantasies were as inventively cruel as dolfette's.

    I wouldn't expect much clarity from a woman who just discovered that she was going to have to dig a hole in the backyard for her scum sucking husband's corpse. Like we women don't already have enough to do!
     
  9. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I totally agree, i was a little confused because at first i thought he had multiple personalities and was telling me not to respond to him because he had kids and a wife. I had to read it several times to figure it out. I wasnt rude to her at all, i pretty much told her how craigslist worked with the anonymity contact option and that i didnt have the original ad for her that i was responding to but i told her what i could remember about it, including the fact it was a month ago in case she was looking back in her mental records about his assholish behavior.
     
  10. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    Was this your first experience with an online cheater?
     
  11. Gillette

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    That'll help her quite a bit if she goes the pedestrian route of divorce. Very cool of you, Rouge.
     
  12. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    well, its my first experience with someone filling me in about a guys personal life and how it could conflict with his ideas for getting off.

    I mean, i've gotten to know a few people here who way after the fact shared with me that they werent living alone that they are actually married, or newly married at that, and using me to get them off. They knew i am married, so they could have told me. But it felt weird to have them living a lie for a long time in our casual conversations about life and say things like "Yeah i hope to get married someday" and go out of their way to look like they were single or whatever.

    But i've heard my fair share of stories through craigslist. This guy had a post that stood out to me because he happened to mention something that i specialize in so i thought i'd inquire more about what he was really looking for. I can't say i was up for the challenge, it was kind of a thing where i said "What the hell, i'll ask him what he's looking for exactly and see what the going rate is for something like that"
     
  13. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    Interesting. Craigslist adult certainly is a bizarre cross-section of motives and desires. As I said earlier, my experiences have left me mostly feeling just kind of sad about some people's...relationship with sex, and not so happy about what really was my exploitation of it for cheap thrills
     
  14. TheRob

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    depends honestly, if the girl knew he had a girl and still hooked up with him
    can't really be happy with her
     
  15. petite

    petite New Member

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    Doesn't matter. He's the one who made a promise of fidelity. If he's unhappy and wants to end the relationship, there's nothing preventing him from telling me that he wants to end it like an honorable man would do, instead of just being a cheating bastard and going behind my back.

    Blame would still be on him. No excuse for cheating.

    As far as the other girl is concerned, I wouldn't think much of her character, but she hasn't made me any promises and she isn't the one who led me to believe he was worthy of my trust and love. Blame still falls on him.
     
    #15 petite, Apr 27, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2010
  16. Yorkie

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    Living with his in-laws he's probably having very little/no "activity" at home.His only chance of a regular sex life would most likely be extracurricular.Seeing as he's broke I'd say it's all just an online fantasy for him.
     
  17. petite

    petite New Member

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    Unless he goes over to the woman's house to get his jollies instead of inviting her over to his home.

    That's probably unlikely with strangers, but I really don't know how hooking up with people on Craigslist works.
     
  18. Yorkie

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    That's right,no sane woman would give her address to a stranger online or anywhere else.
    A first meeting should always be in a public place.If this guy managed to turn up to a meeting I'd say his chances of success would be slim to none.
    He's probably aware of that too,so he just gets his kicks from a fantasy life in cyberspace.
     
  19. petite

    petite New Member

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    Well I didn't think they were going to get their jollies in public. I meant for the act itself, whenever it occurs. Nothing prevents him from meeting a woman at a coffeeshop.
     
  20. Yorkie

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    When he asks you to pay for the coffee is there going to be an act? I'm guessing he doesn't have the charm of Johnny Depp. :smile:
     
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