Snooping on Your Lover

Snooping on Your Lover- your answers are private.

  • I have never snooped.

    Votes: 14 29.8%
  • I have snooped.

    Votes: 24 51.1%
  • My partner and I share passwords and have no secrets.

    Votes: 9 19.1%

  • Total voters
    47
  • Poll closed .

Reddhott

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Reading this post made me curious.

Have you been in a relationship where your lover snooped in your email, phone, facebook etc.? How did you find out? Where you actually hiding something?

Have you been the one doing the snooping? What did you do if you found proof of cheating? Ever been caught snooping?
 

mikeyinbrooklyn

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I have never snooped. To the best of my knowledge, I have not been snooped on. If I had reason to snoop (and I have not), I think I would confront my boyfriend before I snooped with my suspicion. I would not be comfortable in a relationship if I had a gnawing fear. If I didn't trust my partner, I think I would have to end it, evidence or not.
 

Reddhott

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The most important thing in a relationship is trust. If you're snooping then the trust is gone and you may as well end it.

I tend to think this is true. The caveat to that would be, if suspicion and paranoia is your default setting, regardless of what your partner is doing. Then you need to get help with that.
 

SprinkleMe69

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To me the term "snooping" means one is being underhandedly nosy to find some type of incriminating evidence due to lack of trust.

I'm an open book with the ones I get involved with. Want to see my Facebook? Go right ahead. Want to ask me something? Please do. Don't trust me? You can get the fuck on.
 
D

deleted556573

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If you dig deep enough, eventually you'll find something. Everyone will.

Yes, I have snooped on my partner before. It ended up with me ending the relationship due to me finding out about him cheating on me while I was out of town. It's one thing if you snoop just for the sake of snooping. However, in my case, there were plenty of other warning signs that left enough of a question in my mind as to what he was up to when I wasn't around that it led to the snooping and as I stated before, me breaking up with him.

In my case, it was a cell phone bill that was about three times the size that it should've been. After looking deeper into the bill, I discovered that it was all multimedia messaging (picture mail) on his cell phone (shared bill). After looking at the pictures, I discovered a bunch of nude photos that he sent to somebody and after contacting the phone number that they were sent to, I found out that he'd been hooking up with this guy behind my back while I was out of town.

It is never okay to invade somebody's privacy, no matter what the reason. However, in my case, there were enough other red flags that my trust was lost and I feel I had the right to investigate the bill, considering that he was not sending pictures of any kind to me. To this day, I feel guilty for investigating as far as I did, but, I also feel like it staved off a possibly tumultuous life with this scumbag.
 

littledickboy111

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I read an ex's diary once in which she wrote (after the first time we had sex) that I was "much smaller than any" she'd "ever seen before." Later, after I began suspecting she was cheating on me with my best friend, I read some more of her diary and found entries about how she couldn't stop thinking about having sex with him.
 
8

878863

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If someone I was dating violated my phone, computer, or personal property, the relationship would be over. End of story. Don't touch my stuff.
 
E

EvilFairy

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Its happened to me a bit. I hate it. I got tired of my ex always accusing me, so I started talking to other guys. I figured might as well give him something to accuse me of. He found out and went ballistic. I didn't physically cheat, but he didn't see it that way. Ive learned now that usually when your other snoops or accuses you of wrong doing, it because they have something to hide themselves.
 
8

878863

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BTW, if you are the type of person who snoops, accuses, and mistrusts, you're creating an environment where you've now made your partner more likely to cheat or carry on with others. It's called projective identification. "He's treating me like a cheater, I may as well just cheat."
 

Richard Lottery

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kinda guilty..was dating a girl once hanging out at her house decided to check my fb on her computer, she was still logged in. I was about to log out noticed the red message icon was lit with a message or two i was a little curious. Definitely was a shocker to see that she was fucking a guy behind my back and setup a night with another guy needless to say i was wrong but if i hadnt peeked id probably still been getting played, i asked her a bunch of times if there was something i should know just to see if she would come clean but she did not so i checked out on her i was blind to the signs of her being tired alot since i was working alot and tired and pushing for an open relationship (wasnt against it)...Im not the jealous or insecure type never cheated or even thought id be cheated on or anything it was really out of curiousity i definitely didnt expect to see/read what i did, kinda made me sick to my stomach at the time...In my relationships since then i never dared to do it again even when my ex's wanted to share passwords they could log in my stuff i dont care but i wouldnt theirs, if somethings happening it'll see the light of day.. im usually extremely good with my gut feelings on people so im extremly trusting but no one bats a thousand =/
 
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