yes, i have a crush on a member of the same sex. this is not new to me. i'm Bisexual... for as long as i can remember. but only 3 years "out." now, i'm married... a wonderful wife who i love very much, and would do anything for... but, sometimes... especially with a crush like this... i don't know what to do. when i came out to my wife, she said that if i ever needed to experience the other sex, i could... but i know we'd never be the same. Xtube only can do so much... and i know that i'll never see this strapping young man again, but i just wanted to do DIRTY things to him... and i'm wondering if my resolve will hold out. i'm fucked. i'm not sure of what i ask from all of you... i'm half drunk as i write this (which is probably why i'm writing this)... and i have no clear direction... although i want to keep my wife because she's the best person i know, and a fine creative partner to boot... but i'm attracted to some straight 19 year old guy from los angeles, who i'll never see again, and i'm married... man.. i need therapy. i used to just dream about guys i wanted... that was once enough... now, it leads me to distraction... in important everyday things... i can't help but wonder what his penis looks like or how it would feel to hold him. God. is this to much? have i gone off the deep end? i struggle with this every day... i see guys that i say to myself "hey, if i were single, i would totally go after you..." but, my wife even asked me this: why didn't i date the same sex before i was married? i always felt like i was too unattractive to net another male... i'm a guy, i know how guys are (that's a shalow statement, but; hey...), and i just didn't feel like i was cute enough or "butch" (if you're into that sort of thing) enough to get a man-friend. i came real close in college with my roommate, but i don't think i really realized how badly i had it for the cigarette-tobacco-dropping lout until he moved out and away from me. he was straight anyway, so what's it matter? my old feelings of being unattractive still ring out even with females... i don't know if it has anything to do with being married, but i feel really unattractive to anyone, male or female. my main issue right now is: get over the skinny, shaggy-haired guy and get on with life. even if it means that for a very long time i would be left wondering what it would feel like to rub my hands across your chest.