So, dating...

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by LemacST, Jun 30, 2008.

  1. LemacST

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    I know this might sound weird but I have an issue understanding the whole dating game. I am a male college student so I've really depended on one night stands to get with girls. I think I've only been on one "date" since I started college and it was extremely casual, I picked up a girl and we went to get coffee. I can't even remember if I paid for her stuff or not and our relationship ended up nowhere quick. I had a girlfriend in high school too but we got in an "official" relationship quick so that experience isn't helping me out either. What I'm confused about is dating etiquette and it's rules. Of course I know the very simple things, but like I said, I pretty much have no real dating experience so I'm having a hard time figuring out what it really means to be "dating"--can I date multiple girls at once without any serious repercussions? Where is the line between people "dating" and "seeing" each other? It's not that I can't really figure these things out, I just want to hear other people's opinions to see if mine are in tune with what's considered the norm.

    Would I be an asshole for wanting to date several girls at once? Even if I'm just spending time with them and not sleeping with them, would I still be considered a "player"?

    Like I said, these questions might sound dumb but I really have no real experience with "official" dating, as I've usually met girls and hooked up with them as opposed to taking them out to make them my girlfriends.
     
  2. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    if you're single you can date as many people as you want. you're NOT an asshole or a player for seeing multiple people at the same time. unless you and another person you're dating decide to make it an "exclusive dating" thing without being an official couple, then you should be fine. it's definitely ok to see more than one person because it gives you the chance to play the field and test your compatibility. i have to warn you though, people will get suuuuper jealous. the smartest thing to do is be upfront from the start. tell each person you're dating that you do see other people, and if they're ok with it then things should be ok. but if they're not ok with it, obviously that person isn't right for you.

    and as for the whole dating thing and not just meeting up to hook up... it's actually really simple. dates consist of doing something you both enjoy, without the intention of fucking at the end of the night. say you like horror movies and the girl you're interested in likes horror movies too. why not go see the latest horror flick together? or if you like japanese food and she likes japanese food, ask her out for a sushi dinner. the key here is just to keep it simple, be yourself, and most importantly, get to know each other.
     
  3. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    oh and to earn bonus points: do gentlemanly stuff... like pull out her chair, or open the door for her so she can walk in first... give her your jacket if she's cold. all women love little gestures like that!
     
  4. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Dont worry about all them other girls baby. Im all you need. Low maintenance, high sex drive, and call it boasting but im pretty damn good at sucking cock, what more could you ask for?





    Except maybe for being on the same continent :rolleyes:
     
  5. vergax

    vergax Member

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    All those actions are very fine, but only if they are part of your personality, not because it is a date.
    I am always surprised to hear those things from girls mainly in the US, or talking about the whole marriage tradition etc, it seems to me you want to perpetuate ideas for love to the ideals. IMO
     
  6. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!

    American women are not monolithic. Many of the things Stacy mentioned are just plain good manners. So many of them have been lost along the way in attempts to make points. Can I pull my own chair out and open my own door? Yes but I am delighted when someone else offers to do it for me.
     
  7. Mr. Snakey

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    Having good manors and a sense of humor will work wonders. Most importanly treat the woman with respect. Good luck to you.
     
  8. B_jacknapier

    B_jacknapier New Member

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    dating is for homos
     
  9. B_jacknapier

    B_jacknapier New Member

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    ...homoSAPIENS! HAR HAR HAR

    ::kills self::
     
  10. D_Mainssworthe Maleorgan

    D_Mainssworthe Maleorgan Account Disabled

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    Agreed.

    Be upfront from the start. But, even if you are just "dating around" (without the intentions of having sex at the end of a night) and not committed to anyone, even a simple night of movie watching can still lead to fucking. And that's fine. If you aren't committed to anyone, then no one gets hurt.
     
  11. bguy

    bguy Member

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    It is and isn't weird. I'm involved with college theatre and it seems most of them have never been on a date even though they've had boyfriends/girlfriends and slept around quite a bit. I remember asking this one girl what kinds of things she liked to do on a date and she asked me 'What is a date? I don't think I've ever been on one.' And she's had a boyfriend for four years. There was an interesting article in the New York Times that dealt with this phenomenon.

    The others have answered pretty well, but if you are 'casually' dating then you're taking a girl out and spending (non-sexual) time with her. And you can do that with multiple women. At a certain point, you and one of these girls may want to date 'exclusively,' which means you both will stop dating other people. Just make sure you're honest with the women you're dating. If they ask, be truthful and tell them you're dating other women. But probably best to keep it non-sexual until you're exclusive with one. Most women aren't too happy to know that a guy they are dating or sleeping with is also sleeping with other women.
     
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