So how do you know if you’re a sex addicted or not?

[B_subgirrl]

Hi, I'm DasLeezard, and I'm a sex addict.

I did not become a sex addict until I was somewhere in my first Active Duty enlistment. I grew up as the ugly child, was the last of my friends to lose my virginity, and the guy that I lost my virginity to was very abusive and manipulative. For the first 19 years of my life, I hated myself, knew myself as ugly, was told often that I was 'too cool' or 'too much of a good friend' to even be seen as dating material. To my ex, I was fat and ugly, and he had sex with me out of pity, and nobody else would want me.

I know you don't believe it, but you're one of the most beautiful women here. Hopefully one day you really WILL begin to believe it, because it's true. Seriously, I can't look at your pics without wondering if I should up my 1% a little.

All the other stuff? Well, to be honest, I find you quite remarkable. I admire your strength to go through some of the stuff you have and still come out the other side. I admire your strength to recognise when something was fucking your life up and change it. I admire your strength to stay true to that hand of yours.

I don't believe I would have done as well in your situation. I really don't. When I imagine my 18-21 year old self (the only time I was between LTRs besides now) with the accessibility to guys that you had, I can only picture her fucking everything that moves. For that matter, I might well do the same thing now. I suspect I would have completely fucked everything up. So I admire you. And I happen to think you're gorgeous.

 

[sgtrock]

First of all I am impressed by some of the feedback and quite frankly glad that I don’t really have a problem (didn’t think I did either). To answer the overwhelming question – YES I freely communicate that I am not committed to a permanent and monogamous relationship (at least not yet)…as for my age I am fifty one but I am still in fairly good shape at 6’1 215lbs and I try to eat and enjoy life to its fullest.

I would also have to agree with Subgirrl regarding Dasleezard; it is truly unfortunate that someone has taken advantage of you (and more than once) it is also too bad that some have tried to convenience you that you are not attractive because I am sure I like many think otherwise. You are a very pretty Raven haired beauty who has always come across as intelligent and this is quite the aphrodisiac trust me. Although I was a Marine and you were in the Army (A- aint R – ready, to be a M- Marine, Y- yet) you need to hold your head up and realize you didn’t ask to be assaulted no woman or man for that matter does. Get some counseling to overcome this or may hold you back from having more positive outlook and relationships which you greatly deserve.

You are beautiful

Thanks again for the assurance regarding my possible addiction as for the young woman who complained ironically she called last night to see if I wanted to go out this weekend. I decided to say NO and feel it is best that I move on as I do not want to be in an energy sucking relationship with someone who is so insecure.

Again thanks for the advice

 

[DasLeezard]

All the other stuff? Well, to be honest, I find you quite remarkable. I admire your strength to go through some of the stuff you have and still come out the other side. I admire your strength to recognise when something was fucking your life up and change it. I admire your strength to stay true to that hand of yours.

I don't believe I would have done as well in your situation. I really don't. When I imagine my 18-21 year old self (the only time I was between LTRs besides now) with the accessibility to guys that you had, I can only picture her fucking everything that moves. For that matter, I might well do the same thing now. I suspect I would have completely fucked everything up. So I admire you. And I happen to think you're gorgeous.

Well thank ya kindly for your words. In all honesty, I pretty much slept with anything that moved. It was like a buffet, and I was starved. Moderation was not in my vocabulary.

Although I was a Marine and you were in the Army (A- aint R – ready, to be a M- Marine, Y- yet) you need to hold your head up and realize you didn’t ask to be assaulted no woman or man for that matter does. Get some counseling to overcome this or may hold you back from having more positive outlook and relationships which you greatly deserve.

You are beautiful

Thanks again for the assurance regarding my possible addiction as for the young woman who complained ironically she called last night to see if I wanted to go out this weekend. I decided to say NO and feel it is best that I move on as I do not want to be in an energy sucking relationship with someone who is so insecure.

Again thanks for the advice

Thank you for your feedback and your kind words. And congrats on moving on. It's better to remove the stinger than to let it still pump poison into you.

 

[Drifterwood]

In all honesty, I pretty much slept with anything that moved. It was like a buffet, and I was starved. Moderation was not in my vocabulary.

I have been in a similar place DL, and I wouldn't call it sex addiction, it was more like a sexual compulsion order or disorder depending upon your POV.

 

[DasLeezard]

I have been in a similar place DL, and I wouldn't call it sex addiction, it was more like a sexual compulsion order or disorder depending upon your POV.

Well it certainly messed with my professionalism and how I did my job. I was even crafty enough to be doing most of the medics and one of the PAs in my squadron so I could get a 'get out of work free' pass for quarters pretty much whenever I wanted.

If I could go back in time, I'd beat my own ass for such dumbfuckery.

 

[Drifterwood]

Well it certainly messed with my professionalism and how I did my job. I was even crafty enough to be doing most of the medics and one of the PAs in my squadron so I could get a 'get out of work free' pass for quarters pretty much whenever I wanted.

If I could go back in time, I'd beat my own ass for such dumbfuckery.

No argument that it affects your life, I just think that addiction is the wrong word.

Now, about spanking your ass :smile:

 

[AlteredEgo]

No argument that it affects your life, I just think that addiction is the wrong word.

Now, about spanking your ass :smile:

Sex, love, and infatuation trigger the brain in the same places and ways as several narcotics. I'm sure some people are addicted to sex. Those people usually engage in very risky behavior, from my understanding.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Well thank ya kindly for your words. In all honesty, I pretty much slept with anything that moved. It was like a buffet, and I was starved. Moderation was not in my vocabulary.

I ain't so good at moderation myself. I've just been lucky enough not to find myself in a situation with similar opportunities for fucking up.

I have been in a similar place DL, and I wouldn't call it sex addiction, it was more like a sexual compulsion order or disorder depending upon your POV.

In the current version of the DSM (DSM IV) it would come under Sexual Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. If proposed revisions are accepted, it will be termed Hyper-sexual Disorder. The ICD has a category 'Excessive Sexual Drive'. I'm not as well acquainted with the ICD, but I'm guessing it would come under that category. So not technically sex addiction, but that doesn't stop most people referring to it as such.

On the order/disorder thing: People only meet the criteria for a disorder if the behaviour or symptoms are significantly interfering with their life, or if the behaviour or symptoms are causing them distress. A person could feel a need to fuck for every second they aren't eating or sleeping (and be satisfying this need), but as long as it doesn't cause them distress, doesn't fuck their life up, and doesn't harm others, it ain't considered a disorder. Another person who's fucking much less often may be considered to have a disorder because if they're distress by it or fucking their life up in the process.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Thanks again for the assurance regarding my possible addiction as for the young woman who complained ironically she called last night to see if I wanted to go out this weekend. I decided to say NO and feel it is best that I move on as I do not want to be in an energy sucking relationship with someone who is so insecure.

Again thanks for the advice

Probably a good move. She's not a good partner for you if she's uncomfortable with your behaviour.

 

[hungeasy]

im 18 years old and have had sex with 18 different girls and had sex with the 18 girls multiple times...my first blowjob was when i was in 8th grade when i was 13 and the first time i had sex was when i was 14...now im in college and im just want to have sex with every piece of hotness that walks past my dorm...i think im addicted lol...you seem fine thoug

 

[RawDog]

On the order/disorder thing: People only meet the criteria for a disorder if the behaviour or symptoms are significantly interfering with their life, or if the behaviour or symptoms are causing them distress. A person could feel a need to fuck for every second they aren't eating or sleeping (and be satisfying this need), but as long as it doesn't cause them distress, doesn't fuck their life up, and doesn't harm others, it ain't considered a disorder. Another person who's fucking much less often may be considered to have a disorder because if they're distress by it or fucking their life up in the process.

Very clear explanation and one that I've wanted to hear for years. The strangest "addict" I've seen was a friend who my wife and I was convinced was an alcoholic. The most lightweight kind of alcoholic. After two glasses of wine she would be incredibly shitfaced. She could drink bottle after bottle after bottle and never get more shitfaced, but all it took was two glasses to get her there.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Very clear explanation and one that I've wanted to hear for years.

You should have asked me for one earlier :tongue:. You don't have a sex addiction honey (as diagnosed by Dr subgirrl :tongue.

The strangest "addict" I've seen was a friend who my wife and I was convinced was an alcoholic. The most lightweight kind of alcoholic. After two glasses of wine she would be incredibly shitfaced. She could drink bottle after bottle after bottle and never get more shitfaced, but all it took was two glasses to get her there.

Least it's a cheap way to be an alcoholic :biggrin1:. It's true though, a person who gets themselves fired because they can't do their work because they're too busy thinking about the ONE glass of wine they'll have when they get home, is considered to have a problem. It might only be one glass a day, but it's fucked up their life (or part of their life).

If a person gets absolutely wasted on a nightly basis, but can afford it, attends to their responsibilities, doesn't beat their kids or wife up (emotionally or physically) and isn't distressed by it, they aren't considered to have a problem (although their GP might argue differently :tongue.