So how does one find sex?

Phil Ayesho

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Okay. I did have a ranty response but I edited out.

Simply put, don't assume that you know what I'm like as a person without even asking. That's just arrogant, rude and baseless. I can say that you're only on this site because you lack basic social skills and can't talk to people in real life which is just as baseless. I'm very sociable and probably have invested more effort than most 20 year olds into finding a partner but the problem often lays with "attractiveness" not "appearance". If a girl doesn't find you sexually attractive then there's nothing you can do but move on.

This right here is your problem.

You WAY over-reacted to the post. YOU fucking ASKED people… and then YOU made all kinds of assumptions about what this response meant, that were baseless.

The person was saying that "attractiveness" is NOT based upon what you look like but who you are… and used the example that even physically unappealing people get laid, if they are able to engage with others.


Here's the Hard fact… there are shiploads of people out there looking for mates. If YOU can't find one… then YOU are always the Problem.

You are not doing something right… maybe you you aren't looking in the places that single women tend to be… maybe you lack interpersonal skills… maybe your breath is bad, or you, judging on how you responded to the above post, maybe you are just hyper sensitive to the point of being annoying.
OR… maybe your "not really being interested in sex " is the problem… people looking for lovers want to FEEL that they create a HEAT in you.

You really haven't offered much information about yourself on which anyone could narrow it down…

But you HAVE said that you have been alone for 3 years despite Not wanting to be.
And, Pal… that is always because of you.

SO look in the mirror and assess your conduct, approach, and attitude.

Oh, And, just as a tip… maybe you shouldn't be looking to "find sex"…
maybe you should be looking to find a PERSON who finds your personality attractive… or trying to be the kind of person other people find attractive.
 

canipleassuckit

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it's not you, its women. you need to realize women want relationships. not sex. you can join OKcupid, plenty of fish, etc and meet girls that way, but just know, and this is how they think, so don't blame me, they want a relationship, a guy to "get to know." who respects them, cares for them, is actively interested in doing activities with them outside the bedroom. and this takes lots of time, money and dates for them to feel comfortable with you. Alcohol helps a lot.

But just know that 99% of women are NOT out looking for a hook-up, booty call, etc. So the odds are NOT in your favor.

i have the same issue, because i want sex, but i don't want a relationship and i don't want to go hiking and to the farmers market with them every weekend.

if you're not a bar guy, like me, then i would suggest daily activities, that will get you to interact with girls on neutral ground, movies, church, book club, classes, concerts, lectures, sports, etc something where you can get to know them and then try to get sex from them. just know that they will always want more from you than just sex. so it's a bit of a losing proposition.

i live in LA and this is why you always see hot chicks walking their dogs and pets... because women want unconditional love from something whether it be a dog or a man. Ideally women would have a relationship with a man without sex if they could. Women want to be appreciated for their minds, not bodies, which flies in the face of all logic, given the billion dollar fashion and make-up industry and how much time they put into their superficial appearances, but logic does not apply here.

Unfortunately, it seems that you're straight like me and will have to deal with this much like i did. If you were a gay man, you could be hooking up 15 times a day for anonymous sex, but women don't work that way. So yes, you will have no problem getting sex if you understand and accept this dynamic.

I think lowering your standards is great advice. its the ugly girls out there that want and need sex too. its usually the really hot ones that will ask you to buy them drinks, clothes... spend money on them, or pay their cell phone bill for them.

Also, if you're a black male, there seems to be a market for black males on lifestyle swinger sites. if you join some of those, there are lots of couples with hot wives who like to invite black men into their bedroom. Don't ask me why, it just is. So you could use that to your advantage if you like.

Please tell me this is sarcasm and I'm just not getting the joke.