1
185248
Guest
How do you deal with lies....Do you move on. Do you ignore......How do you deal with life?
There are some people who find it easier to lie than tell the truth. Pointless lies, often. Habitual. I avoid them like the plague.I work with very busy people. They give me their word that they will follow through on what they agreed to do. Sometimes that doesn't happen. And it's not because they lied. It's because other situations have arisen that forces them to alter the agreement.
But sometimes they do lie. Sometimes they have no intention of doing what they agreed to. They are marked. And they are ostracized. If they are employed by me they no longer will be.
On a personal level I have a child who would sometimes withhold the truth and sometimes give alternate facts. That was a very difficult period to work through, but it was worth mending.
I was married to a habitual liar. He could not tell the truth even if it was convenient for him. That's what I cannot understand! What type of pathology he displayed I could never fathom. But he simply could not tell me the truth. That was not worth mending, and in fact, I let it go too long.
I don't lie for the simple fact that my memory is not the best, and you have to remember too many stories.
I struggle with this one.
I have always believed that telling the truth was absolutely crucial in all things.
I still hold to this, but how do I reconcile this with the two years, almost a decade ago, that I spent cheating on my wife with an active secret life in the swinging world?
Lust won out over truth and honesty in that period of my life. It ended with me realizing how my integrity was in the toilet, quitting my activities cold turkey, and confessing to my wife, in that order.
I restored truth to my life and our relationship, but I caused her an enormous amount of pain. We worked through it with counseling and decided to stay together, ultimately strengthening our relationship.
I believe truth must be told, but as human beings, along with our strengths, there will always be weaknesses that show up.
Confession is good for the soul, it is said.
I hate that I hurt my wife. AND, I had a hell of a lot of great sex in those two years. I wish I could still do it, but my marriage is more important to me.
I will concede that lies of omission are okay in some cases. For instance, I won't tell my dad i smoke pot sometimes. Or stuff like that.
Otherwise, truth is important and beyond little white lies like oh I feel fine or whatnot (when I'm dying inside), I will always be truthful when and where it counts. If it concerns something that is hurtful to someone else, then I'll consider the value of the truth and whether it's prudent to share and move forward from there.