So I got pushed away because I look gay

[flame boy]

Just tell her that since you've been with her you have become gay.

Oooh thats a low blow....i like it :wink:

 

[Hotrocker]

The most unexpected thing just happened to me just 30 minutes ago. Here’s the story:

I met this wonderful girl about a month ago, in a night club. We started dating, taking it slow and all… and I got more and more attached to her.

We have wonderful moments together, she calls me whenever she can and all, we trade love messages in our cell phones… all that jazz.

Anyway, last Sunday we slept together for the first time, and it was amazing. She reached orgasm for the first time (with someone) and was barely able to move afterwards…

All in all, I was feeling in the clouds and all, and I’m not one to fall in love easily.

Tonight I got a message asking me to meet her in her apartment, because she missed me and all. I left work and drove there, we talked, hugged, but I felt she wanted to tell me something.

After a lot of hesitation, she finally admitted: “yes, there is something bothering me.”

Long story short, with tears involved (not mine, mind you), she told me her friends didn’t like me because they thought I look (EDIT: or act) gay, and that if she hang out with me people would start talking.

She then proceeded to tell me it’s been bothering her like hell, and that she doesn’t know if she can live with this.

I was so stunned I couldn’t say a word. There was the woman I gave my fucking heart to, saying 2 things with made me want to puke:

1) That gay people are somewhat not cool to hang out with (incidental, but the bigotry is there)
2) That she doesn’t know if she can live with it?

What the fuck? She says she likes me, she misses me all the time, but is shaken by something this stupid?

I’m not gay (nothing wrong if I was), but I’m hurt as hell right now. I just left… said I would think this whole mess over.

ps: she said she knows I'm not gay and really feels I'm into her. What's bothering her is the opinion of other people (ie, her friends)

Sorry, there was a point to all this, but I’m just… blah… can’t go on right now.

Yeah, you don't want to be with a girl that cares that much about her peer's opinions unless you want to have a relationship with her AND her friends. Soon enough, her friends will find out that they can dictate your relationship with said girl... and nobody wants that.

I know it sounds harsh, but find a more independent and mature girl.

 

[B_ScaredLittleBoy]

No wonder she'd never had an orgasm with someone...

She was probably waiting for her friends' permission :tongue:

I also like that "since I met you I've turned gay" answer lol.

But basically, she's not worth your time, you'll find someone else. Maybe you were mostly in love with her body/looks; more than her mind which she needs to have made up by other people.

 

[Ms.Teacher]

look in appears to be ( translation problems, I suppose).

Metrosexual?

Not really. I mean, I do work out, am fit, and like my hair... is that a crime?

She sounds like a strange person, and someone you should avoid. There's nothing wrong with a guy trying to look his best, but obviously not to an extreme where he looks effeminate and over the top; unless that's the look you're trying to achieve, which in your case does not sound that way at all.

Some people say Ryan Seacrest looks gay, is gay, is effeminate looking, and I don't think so. To me, he's a good looking guy who takes care of himself. I've seen pics of him when he's not all fixed up and he still looks good.

 

[B_Nick8]

Wow, man, that really sucks, but it says way more about her than it does about you. Like that she is (in the words of the departed Bobs) a perverted fucktard?!

 

[DC_DEEP]

She's a loser, with all kinds of emotional issues you really don't want to deal with later.

Mourn the loss, get over her, and get on with your life - with someone who has a little more self-esteem.

And don't waste any anger on her. It drains you, and solves nothing.

 

[Hippie Hollow Girl]

Wow, Lito,

I hate it that you are having to go through something like this. You have every right to feel hurt. And I know I wouldn't blame you if you never ever spoke to this woman again.

What she did was wrong. But she is the one that is going to have to live with herself and her actions. Sounds to me like she is the one missing out on a great guy. Her loss.


One nosey question though.......is there a chance that maybe this woman has committment issues (she has a fear is committment) and you two were getting too close and she kind of like freaked out.....pulled away.....talked to her friends......who were jealous of you because they want your woman all to theirself......so they tell her that they think you are gay and for her to dump you......and she is still so freaked out and emotionally fragile she breaks down and tells you that her friends think you are gay. And she doesn't mean to hurt you.......she is just all freaked out because she hasn't ever felt so close to committing herself to anyone.

I would give her one week.......and if she hasn't come back to you on her knees telling you she was sorry and that she made a mistake listening to her friends.....and that she won't ever put anyone over you ever again...... If she hasn't had a mind change in one week.......I would just forget about her and move on.

This is what I would do........this is what I did......when I was single. I always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt until it was proven otherwise. People make mistakes. Give her one week to apologize. And you can decide whether to get back with her or not.......if she comes to you begging your forgiveness.

That's my opinion and advice.

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

That is so funny, because I always thought looking gay was a huge compliment.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I usually agree with a lot of your posts, kadtxgrl, but I have to disagree with this one. At her age and level of education, that kind of behavior is definitely a red flag, and indicates a lot of deeper issues that most likely won't go away.

I am impressed, though, that she's a medical doctor at the tender young age of 27. That's REALLY young for an MD.

 

[RedScrotum]

I agree with kadtxgrl....don't act in haste tomoorow....give her a week to think things over.

 

[rbkwp]

Cheers Lito,

Sorry to hear of yr dilemma.
I agree with Slant..
Also i suggest you give her a weekly call for say about a month/give her time to re-think
Verbal/dont actually see her in person, and see what the end result maybe.
If she is craving for you it may happen, otherwise i feel, just sign right OUT of her life, she can continue letting her friends'? dictate her partners..?? Immature Girl.
Let her pursue her Medical carerr with her friend,s'doubt she is going to find the right" person for herself with that attitude, at her age?
-lucky escape-is right,forget about the Great Sex you had just a one off..so..-
Great Sex can happen with anyone.-
enz
--well i hope you havent woken up and changed your mind re dumping her/but if you have..will send my thoughts anyway
just DONT giv ein for a month or so.. (if she is still interested in you).........MAKE her Beg.. for you ..you call the shots at this stage..?

 

[Hippie Hollow Girl]

I usually agree with a lot of your posts, kadtxgrl, but I have to disagree with this one. At her age and level of education, that kind of behavior is definitely a red flag, and indicates a lot of deeper issues that most likely won't go away.

I am impressed, though, that she's a medical doctor at the tender young age of 27. That's REALLY young for an MD.

The reason why I gave the advice that I did was for Lito's benefit. I have had situations that were kind of similiar when I was single.....not exactly....but it reminded me of it. One example in particular.....I had met a guy at a party and he and I hit it off.....and our relationship was going a lot like Lito described.....then one day he broke up with me because of my weight.....he said he just couldn't see his self with a fat girl. And he just didn't think it was that big of a deal for me to be able to lose some weight. I just remember that it devastated me. He had never mentioned my weight before...... Anyways I dealt with everything as best as I could......I think I gave him a week.....and he was back at my door begging me to take him back......telling me that he had made a mistake.

But it was my choice to have anything to do with him anymore. I knew that he didn't like my weight. So I was able to tell him that we would only be friends from that point on.

I just like to give people a chance to make things right. It helps for there not to be any hard feelings later on down the road.

And also it would help Lito with being able to deal with this situation a lot better......


Obviously the girl has some kind of problems......at least Lito is getting a head's up on them.

Yes, I was impressed about the lady being a medical doctor too.

 

[midlifebear]

Dump the bitch.

 

[Lng_1]

Of course the other option is to convince her you are not gay... perhaps that impression was b/c you "took it slow". Tell her how horney she makes you and that you have to have her. It can be a secret. She doesn't have to tell her friends. You can be her fuck toy. Be rough with her. Fuck her hard! .... uhhhhh.. never mind, doing that would be about as shallow and mean as not dating someone b/c they "look gay".

 

[Gogiboy1]

Buddy, At the risk of sounding like a CLICHE, If her deciding whether or not to date you, and ignoring ALL the GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOU, as well as the GOOD TIMES you two have shared, depends upon what her FRIENDS think & say about you...well then my friend, she is NOT worth your time and effort. You deserve BETTER!!!

I wish you luck and keep your head held HIGH, there IS someone out there for you, it may just take time to find the RIGHT ONE, because IF she was the RIGHT ONE...She would have NEVER mentioned this to you, and hurt you the way she did. She would have went with her HEART, NOT with the FOOLISH opinions of her SO CALLED Friends.

Be Strong, and Be TRUE to yourself !!!

I wish you all good things that you wish for yourself!

My Best,

G.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Of course the other option is to convince her you are not gay... perhaps that impression was b/c you "took it slow". Tell her how horney she makes you and that you have to have her. It can be a secret. She doesn't have to tell her friends. You can be her fuck toy. Be rough with her. Fuck her hard! .... uhhhhh.. never mind, doing that would be about as shallow and mean as not dating someone b/c they "look gay".

You missed the whole point of his post. She knows he's not gay. Fucking her rough is not the issue.

She's worried about what her friends will think.

 

[B_andyo]

women lie, but if she is telling the truth she doesn't love you that much... friends would not talk or care who is ur partner...

 

[invisibleman]

The most unexpected thing just happened to me just 30 minutes ago. Here’s the story:

I met this wonderful girl about a month ago, in a night club. We started dating, taking it slow and all… and I got more and more attached to her.

We have wonderful moments together, she calls me whenever she can and all, we trade love messages in our cell phones… all that jazz.:smile:

Anyway, last Sunday we slept together for the first time, and it was amazing. She reached orgasm for the first time (with someone) and was barely able to move afterwards…:wink::smile:

All in all, I was feeling in the clouds and all, and I’m not one to fall in love easily.

That's good.:smile:

Tonight, I got a message asking me to meet her in her apartment, because she missed me and all. I left work and drove there, we talked, hugged, but I felt she wanted to tell me something.

After a lot of hesitation, she finally admitted: “yes, there is something bothering me.”

Long story short, with tears involved (not mine, mind you), she told me her friends didn’t like me because they thought I look (EDIT: or act) gay, and that if she hang out with me people would start talking.

Ain't that some cunty nignorant shit?!!!! What a flake, she definately got Crisco in her dough.

She then proceeded to tell me it’s been bothering her like hell, and that she doesn’t know if she can live with this.

I was so stunned I couldn’t say a word. There was the woman I gave my fucking heart to, saying 2 things with made me want to puke:

1) That gay people are somewhat not cool to hang out with (incidental, but the bigotry is there)
2) That she doesn’t know if she can live with it?

What the fuck? She says she likes me, she misses me all the time, but is shaken by something this stupid?

I’m not gay (nothing wrong if I was), but I’m hurt as hell right now. I just left… said I would think this whole mess over.

ps: she said she knows I'm not gay and really feels I'm into her. What's bothering her is the opinion of other people (ie, her friends)

Well, at least you know what kinda woman you were involved with. You REALLY are blessed to know that that girl was a package deal...you are not sleeping with her...you are sleeping with her friends' opinion of your sexuality.

YOU DEFINATELY DO NOT WANT TO CONTINUE WITH ANY WOMAN THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL WEIRDED OUT...AND WILL CHOOSE HER LOVERS OVER WHETHER THE FRIENDS THINK THAT "IS HE GAY?" What kinda of bullshit is that?

Man. I wish I could be there to meet your "girlfriend". I would tell her to go fuck her friends. Sleep with them.

Some beyotches you don't EVEN want to consider continuing anything with. She was a waste of your time. I would tell her to stay the fuck away.

I bet she listens to Ann Coulter. What a cunt.

 

[Lito]

I usually agree with a lot of your posts, kadtxgrl, but I have to disagree with this one. At her age and level of education, that kind of behavior is definitely a red flag, and indicates a lot of deeper issues that most likely won't go away.

I am impressed, though, that she's a medical doctor at the tender young age of 27. That's REALLY young for an MD.

Well, I'm in another country, so I may have mistranslated something here. She graduated in medicine already, and is now going through residence (don't know if that's the term in English) =D

 

[Lito]

All in all, thanks for the support and replies. It's actually comforting to be here, I mean it. My big thanks!

EDIT: btw, I'll have a definitive conversation with her tomorrow, after work. I'll post the results here. My intention is to just end it all and get my borrowed, precious books back.