She's just as much of a homophobic bigot as her friends. Worse still is the fact that she is ruled by them. I suggest finding someone who is not owned by a prejudiced, shallow group of persons. Goodluck Lito.
So I got pushed away because I look gay
- Thread starter Lito
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She's just as much of a homophobic bigot as her friends. Worse still is the fact that she is ruled by them. I suggest finding someone who is not owned by a prejudiced, shallow group of persons. Goodluck Lito.
It sounds like her friends are more important to her than her own happiness. These kind of people can never make decisions on their own without "consulting the jury". Forget her, you are going down a hard road my friend. Her friends will always be in your business. You can find a better woman.
And that's acceptable behaviour from her, is it - to only want him as a secret fuck buddy so her friends won't tease her. He should be OK with that, should he? From what I read the guy has feelings for this girl, or at least did, why should he accept being treated like some sextoy she keeps hidden in the cupboard?
Well, he could use my logic to tell if she was being truthful. If she doesn't want him as a fuck buddy, then she really didn't like the sex or there is some other reason. Maybe she thinks he not only acts gay, but is gay or bisexual and doesn't want someone like that. I'd like to hear more of the details like why Lito thinks that she said he acts gay. There must be more to it other than he works out and cares about his hair.
Hellboy0
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Good plan, Lito. Get back to us and let us know how it works out. I think you're doing the right thing. BTW, the fact that she is a doc or even a med student does not impress me in the least. There are a lot of very stupid, bigoted, immature medical professionals. A persons chosen profession is not a very good indicator of anything other than their interests, passions or need for cash.
On a final note: You must have really liked her; I never lend my books out, even to my best friends, unless I expect to never get them back! LOL
Primal_Savage
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I agree, emphatically!!! Prove to her that you're an Alpha male. In other words, feel the emotion, but remain in control. Focus on learning from the experience, rather than looking for pity. I'd have probably told her right off, that it wouldn't have worked out anyway cause I'm not attracted to a cunt that would allow her friends to dictate her every move.
:biggrin1: You got the terminology correct, but that's still unusually young!
You never mentioned she had your books! I would loan money before I would loan my books, and I rarely loan money!
That's the point I've been trying to make. Even if she does make a tearful, convincing apology, this will ALWAYS be an issue, and I can't imagine there won't be other issues that surface over time.
- Lito,
That's not really the situation here. Apparently, this situation have been going on for a while (without me knowing about it).
She decided to spit it out AFTER we had sex (maybe because of it). She clearly told me she was sure I wasn't gay and that our time in bed was wonderful... I got messages in my cell phone the other day (from her work) even, telling how good it was.
So... whatever... as I said, going to have a conversation wwith her tonight.
ps: my books, oh crap. She got some of my philosophy/greek culture books... I'm not leaving them behind =D
I've never heard of a woman breaking up with a guy because her friends thought he looked gay. It sounds like a pathetic excuse. Get your books back and walk away. Let her sort herself out, and if you ever have sex with her again, make it the best she's ever had and say goodbye.
You could start screwing around with her friends, but in the end, that will only cause more problems and I don't think it will help you in any way. You'd do much better to move on and find a woman who wants you, not the man her friends think she should have.
You could start screwing around with her friends, but in the end, that will only cause more problems and I don't think it will help you in any way. You'd do much better to move on and find a woman who wants you, not the man her friends think she should have.
27 isn't that young.
In the UK the minimum age to start the course is 18. Five years later, they're qualified and do a two-year residence followed by another three to five years' training to become either a GP or a consultant, so, basically any medical graduate over 23 is entitled to call him/herself a doctor, unless they go into surgery, in which case they're back to being a Mr, Ms or whatever.
Hellboy0
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Fucking right on, Primal! That's the kind of advice the guy needs... Too bad he didn't get a chance to settle the issue when she brought it up, but sounds like he was too thrown by the surprise attack to actually react appropriately. But now that he's had a chance to think it over, sounds like he knows what to do.
Go get your groove back, Lito!
I have heard of this happening before (a woman breaking up with a guy because of what her "friends" think about him.....or even what her family thinks.) I have no idea why this happens......maybe it is a cultural thing. It is kind of suprising to me to hear that a 28 year old is still so caught up identifying with a group of friends that she wouldn't be able to have a backbone and be able to make a decision for herself.....and not worry about what her friends think. But maybe it is because she has been in school so long.....it became a habit for her to not think for herself.
Lito, I see in your profile that you are working on your PHD. Do you and your female friend go to the same school? Or work in the same hospital? Are you a medical dr. too? Just curious.
Lito, I see in your profile that you are working on your PHD. Do you and your female friend go to the same school? Or work in the same hospital? Are you a medical dr. too? Just curious.
D_Ollyvalle Treegirth
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I feel your pain --- I do understand the intensity of infatuation. But really, if she is that shallow -- to put more importance on what people THINK, vs what she KNOWS -- it's best to get over her as quickly as you can. She's not worth you.
Well, Lito, it seems like she is sending mixed signals...sending you messages saying how good you were and stuff. It all sounds very odd to me, so I'm interested to hear what happens. Some girls act weird because of previous experiences with relationships and breakups. Good luck with it.
Ah, I see. In this country, I don't know of a single medical school that admits anyone with less than a bachelor's degree; many require a master's. So most (in the USA, anyway) don't even start their 4-year medical school until at least age 22. Most of our medical school graduates (those who have earned the Doctor of Medicine degree) are around age 28 or older.
But (most) European high school equivalent education is of a higher standard - therefore it makes some sense that the two systems differ in that way. Also the med student would have to have good A levels, Bac, Leaving Cert, etc., etc., in the 'right' subjects - e.g. biology, chemistry - and high grades in other less relevant subjects too.
Sorry for continuing this OT side topic. :redface:
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