Fuck my life, seriously...and I've done this before, with the same result: a handful of cum and guilt, some sort of sick Catholic cocktail. Oh, and more debt. Shit, I shouldn't do this, but I keep visiting, I keep going, to hear their voices and see their bodies, while a connection is feigned, and the same platitudes are spoken...to me, the paying customer, just another virtual John amongst a flock of the same guy. I don't think about that while I do it, I wouldn't do it if that were the case, I shut my brain off and live a little in the fantasy. I just admire their bodies and voices, and tell them so, in turn they say I'm nice and sweet and cute, then they giggle and seem impressed with my penis, sometimes that's the only thing that seems real about the whole thing. This girl, this 20 year old Colombian girl, beautiful face, amazing body, sweet voice, she told me the things I wanted to hear, but it's fake, because in real life I wouldn't dare to talk to her, so I do it, in this way.