So I think it's me....

D_BenJo_Ahanakokolele

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i know that i have a couple personality kinks that i have to work out first before I look for a boyfriend but personality aside.... Am I Ugly? Like I'm breaking out a bit from recent work related stress but in all honesty. Am i ugly?

i feel like I'm not even getting noticed anymore. Like I really hate being alone more than anything and I know I've written a thread about this before but it's really starting to get to me.

Like i went on a blind date with my co-workers brother and after five minutes he said he wasn't interested. i mean like literal five minutes.

Like I know I'm a nice guy. i love riding my bike, and going camping. I love shopping and looking for antiques. i give money to charity and i volunteer.

I'm not even looking for abs or a guy with lots of money. I just want someone i can laugh with and maybe watch a movie with. Go on a long bike ride. whatever.
For those who have come to know me from my post and all... is it me? Am I horrible person?

i know i may look extremely pathetic right now but I guess I'm just venting.

Like i know that people say that don't look for it, it'll come to you. but they never tell you how you should feel when all around you, you see happy couples everywhere. All i do now is wake up, go to work, go home and sleep. i don;t even have the energy to go out anymore and i definitely don't have the money since I'm saving up so i can move out.

And this has nothing to do with Valentines day because i never really cared for that day even when i was still with my ex. so don't think that i feel this way because of that.

I'm just feeling very low since that last date. Anyways i just posted a pic to figure out how i feel about myself.
 

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Cody'nCT

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You're a total cutie. Blind dates are rough - not a good way to meet people. Hang in there. You will find someone. Gay men are picky and fickle. But I am certain from your pic that you are definitely someone's "type".
 

crushinonted

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From reading your post I was trying to guess your age. I think I was pretty close before even getting to the "moving out" part and seeing the pic. You're definitely not ugly, but you're not going to be everyone's type. You're young and still living at home. That's your biggest problem (the living at home part, not being young!). Work on yourself first; the guys will start pouring in. Get your degree or the promotion or whatever. Get your own place or move in with friends. Just get away from your parents.
 

D_BenJo_Ahanakokolele

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From reading your post I was trying to guess your age. I think I was pretty close before even getting to the "moving out" part and seeing the pic. You're definitely not ugly, but you're not going to be everyone's type. You're young and still living at home. That's your biggest problem (the living at home part, not being young!). Work on yourself first; the guys will start pouring in. Get your degree or the promotion or whatever. Get your own place or move in with friends. Just get away from your parents.

i figured that might be a contributing factor. that's why i made it my mission to move out by next year.
it's very expensive live on your own in the city. Cause i don't want to have roommates and I want to find a nice studio or one bedroom by the water front and i already did the numbers. I need a minimum of $1500 a month to live there. but I totally get what you mean. That's why i got a second job and just working my ass off. in two months i get my certification and that means i also get a promotion now I'm still new at my other job so i know i have to pay dues. but i totally get it.

and i figured i wasn't his type but he could have at least payed for the drink he ordered.
 

D_Liv_R_Phoole

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Dude, you're adorable lol no joke. In my opinion, blind dates don't work. You will find someone amazing or they may find you, but never doubt yourself. Any guy would be lucky to have you, but you might need to be more assertive (If you like someone then tell them) On a side note, that co workers brother, kind of sounds like a douche :/
 

rbkwp

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Happiness & Contentment come from within huh?

Not to worry too much what any outsider states ...

Friend or Foe'

Your a charming guy, with a beautiful smile, will eventually be rewarded i suspect!
 

Lazor123

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You don't look ugly at all to me, if I was looking for someone I would totally go out with you. Maybe you just weren't his type? I think you just have self-esteem issues about something, I do too, so I know what you're probably going through.
 

rbkwp

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But you are a judgemental and a jerk.






A condition reserved to
Praise & usually associated with partially profile filled members
from what i have noticed on LPSG!
 

nudeyorker

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No you certainly are not ugly... however you may be coming off a tad needy or desperate. From my own experience; when I became the person I hoped to find (I finally met him) (and the me I was supposed to be) and he was not what I was expecting. I had also stopped actively looking because I was happy with myself by myself and it did not matter to me anymore to the same degree if I met anyone or not the way it once did... Life is funny that way sometimes.
 

hrdhatdad

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Maybe you should think about getting a roomate. Most guys experience communal living in college and it's a good way to learn how to be colaborative and be less of a dick, which is a prerequisite for healthy relationships. I have no idea if you're a dick but most of us are until we are forced to live with and get along with other people outside of our family. Besides, it's cheaper.
 

mke75

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I read somewhere this week, that it takes at least 100 dates either blind or regular to find someone compatible. Keep trying.
 

Exbiker

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I don't think it's all about looks, at all.

In any case everyone has different preferences. There's not much of it that is universally agreed, or objective ...

I do think living with other people for 2-5 years is a good plan. That's what I did, until I was 29. It helps you learn how people behave, and communicate. You get to see a more diverse slice of the world for a while...

And that can give you a good launch pad. I was nearly 37 when I met the man I am now "married" to, ten years later.

Many things go wrong, if people don't have long range goals, and patience, and a broad perspective.

:smile:
 

D_BenJo_Ahanakokolele

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But you are a judgemental and a jerk.

you bring up a very good point but I'm not the one that got banned.

may be coming off a tad needy or desperate.

you're the wise one... that why i always ask you for help. lol and i know i got to cut that shit off. its funny because I'm pretty independent when it comes to most things... I'm just emotionally not independent?

Like I can go out completely by myself and have a good time but i would still like a boyfriend.

Maybe you should think about getting a roommate. Most guys experience communal living in college and it's a good way to learn how to be collaborative and be less of a dick, which is a prerequisite for healthy relationships. I have no idea if you're a dick but most of us are until we are forced to live with and get along with other people outside of our family. Besides, it's cheaper.

i just can't live with other people. What if someone doesn't have their share of the rent on time. What if they start doing drungs in the apartment. I'm also a neat freak. What if they're messy and dirty?

I do think living with other people for 2-5 years is a good plan. That's what I did, until I was 29. It helps you learn how people behave, and communicate. You get to see a more diverse slice of the world for a while...
:smile:

Like I see the benefits of living with roommates but i take after my mother and i like to be in control of my home. i don't what you do outside the house but you must follow strict rules.. my rules. everything in my house is labeled and it has it's own place, laundry is separated by darks, lights, and whites. My kitchen is labeled and if it was up to me, shoes should be taken off at the front door to minimize dirt on floors.

and i know what you're thinking... this is not good when looking for a relationship but i don't want a husband or a life partner. I'm too young for that. I don't want to live with my bf or whatever because I love my privacy and alone time.

i guess what I'm looking for is a guy best friend that I'm sleeping with monogamously. i don;t know if that even makes sense but one thing i'm sure of is that i want to live by myself.

there is only one person who i would allow to be my roommate and that would be my best friend Natalia. We are exactly alike, share the same ideas, and everything but she is living with her boyfriend and she is happy so I wouldn't even consider asking her.



anyways thank you guys for the fresh perspective.

i know i have a list of things i need to take care off before I even go on another date.
 

D_BenJo_Ahanakokolele

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also this might be a bad way of looking at thins but I live in the city and a boyfriend for me is like a car. There are benefits to having one and not having one and also i can live and survive without one but nevertheless, i would still like one. It's still nice to have a car in the city as is a boyfriend.
 

nudeyorker

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Like I see the benefits of living with roommates but i take after my mother and i like to be in control of my home. i don't what you do outside the house but you must follow strict rules.. my rules. everything in my house is labeled and it has it's own place, laundry is separated by darks, lights, and whites. My kitchen is labeled.

I could give lessons to OCD people on having a clean house and how to be ultra-organized (I've had housekeepers quit because they did not feel they could meet my expectations) But when it comes to love I often think about PayingThe Price of Admission to ride this ride. (And it's been the ride of my life) and I realized that I have to meet someone half way too. Sometimes you just have to pick up after people.


shoes should be taken off at the front door to minimize dirt on floors.
You should move to Hawaii... Everyone does this except really dumb haole peoole!

i know i have a list of things i need to take care off before I even go on another date.

I realized the day someone said to me "You are such a catch... why don't you have a boyfriend?" and I replied... "Because I'm picky and not willing to settle... But in the meanwhile I went on a lot of dates and really had a great time (at one point I was seeing 6 different people in different cities) (I felt like James Bond)... and it hit me that spending the rest of my life with the right person was more important than just having a boyfriend.

also this might be a bad way of looking at thins but I live in the city and a boyfriend for me is like a car. There are benefits to having one and not having one and also i can live and survive without one but nevertheless, i would still like one. It's still nice to have a car in the city as is a boyfriend.

I lived in NY for most of my time there without a boyfriend but I did have a car. You can have both but you have to be willing to pay the price for both.