So I've been friends for a while now...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by mattsrod7, Mar 2, 2012.

  1. mattsrod7

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    So there's this girl I've been really really good friends with for a while now. Like 5-6 years. Even now we still talk to each other really personally *(like bodily functions) and feelings and life goals for a while now. We are really really good friends, but I don't know where to go from here.

    My parents keep pushing me to dating her, and society says how you should marry your best friend. I can see my self with her, but I don't see it RIGHT NOW. If we could move forward, I'd be fine, but I'm afraid she's not.

    She's a really slamming hot asian girl, haha, and she has suitors lined up, and physically I am no competition, but financially and emotionally I can handle her and manage her. I'm really confused, she's sending mixed signals. To be honest, what girl wants to watch star wars, she does all of a sudden and we share so much together.

    I really want nothing more than to spend my life with my best friend, but I'm afraid I might loose my BF in this whole situation. So Please HELP ME!!! haha
     
  2. libralover4u2

    libralover4u2 Well-Known Member

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    Go for it! Don't push her into anything she does not want to do, but if she really likes you, don't worry about the physical competition. The sexiest part about a person is generally between their ears.
     
  3. IntoxicatingToxin

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    If she's really that close to you, I don't think she'd drop your friendship just because your feelings weren't on the same level. Just ask her about it. Ask her if she ever saw the two of you as anything more than friends, or ask if she'd like to go out on a date as more than friends. The worst she'll do is say no. OR... you can just tell her how you feel. Be honest.
     
  4. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    How is she a friend if you constantly wonder and want more out of it?

    In my book that is not friendship, doesn't mean you can't be friends though but the situation you are in I wouldn't describe as friendship.

    And why is she sending out mixed signals? Because she knows you like her and yet you never made a move on her how do you think it makes her feel? Confused? Unattractive?

    Ask yourself is this the kind of girl I want to man up for?
     
  5. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    I disagree on this part about sharing your deepest feelings as this guy has some confidence issues and he'll be dropping an a-bomb on her.
    I'm no fortuneteller but the odds of him screwing it up is more likely this way even if she does share his feelings.

    I think he should aproach the subject in microsteps and not tell her how he feels but show her.
     
  6. rtg

    rtg
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    Yeah, it's a tough one. Just make sure you do it for the right reasons and not cos you are expected to.

    But I can tell you from experience that it's not a nice feeling missing out on that opportunity. I had a male best friend once, we hung out every single day and he really appreciated and respected me. He liked me, i always knew this. But I didn't want to 'ruin the friendship' and didn't realise what I had right in front on me.

    He moved away and we talked a lot still. When he got a gf I realised how I felt about him and that he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. WHen him and his gf broke up I was too gutless to tell him how I really felt (tho i told him i was jealous when they were together)...but I wasn;t worried cos i thought we would end up together. I was wrong.

    Fast forward a couple of years now. He is getting married in a few months. Biggest mistake I ever made was not taking that chance.
     
  7. MickeyLee

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    don't to it.

    your reasons are shit. because you're parents are pushing you to date her. because you'e read marrying your best friend is the thing to do. you admit that for right now you don't see yourself in this type of relationship with her :confused:

    how you measure yourself against her other potential suitors *dude, insecurity much* is a bit troubling. you can manage/handle her?

    past history has learned me rejected boys don't stay friends.
    in fact, the bastards get mean.

    if she's not interested in you as more than a friend she's going to question your motivations for being her friend.
    she'll start not talking about certain topics with you, because she's uncomfortable/worried you will be uncomfortable.

    Star Wars - have the original three films memorized.
    still have a violent urge to physically assault George Lucas for the shitsunami that was the Star Shit Naughties


    random: before throwing a "you can do it" read the particulars.
     
  8. B_Heart_of_Lion

    B_Heart_of_Lion New Member

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    did you yet fuck wit her? just curious
     
  9. D_Sal_Manilla

    D_Sal_Manilla Account Disabled

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    well talk to her about marriage. not between you both but in general and what is her opinions on the subject. and later just be straight up front with her. tell her that you think your getting strong feeling for her. if you are as close as you say you are. I'm sure she would understand.
     
  10. Unnamed

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    look for another girl.
     
  11. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    I say do it, not for the marriage lifetime relationship thing but just for the experience as you seem quite unsecure and experiences make the man.
    In a few years or even months you will not have this girl around anymore, for whatever reason work, marriage, moving away etc so take the opportunity as soon as possible as you will not have it again in the future.

    And trust me, you do not want to be friends with her for the next ten years wondering "what if"
     
  12. Patchos

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    Are you hung? What's your size.
     
  13. largeverythickcock

    largeverythickcock New Member

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    pics of her before advice ;)
     
  14. D_22

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    Wait, what? People fall for their friends all the time, that doesn't negate any of their friendship status simply because of that. That makes no sense.
     
  15. Hand_Solo

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    You risk losing your friend if it doesn't go well. Hard to go back to being friends after something like that comes out in the open.
     
  16. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    That's not just friendship, it's more, it's lust, it's desire, it's romance whatever so everytime you do something nice you expect to be closer to being more romantic , more lustfull, more more more.

    How is that genuine friendship?


    How would you feel if one of your "friends" wants you and does everything for you like pick you up from a party in the middle of the night 100 miles away.
    they expect something more in return even if they don't expres it.

    And that, can never be true friendship.
     
  17. Mercurygirl

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    If you're having more than "just friends" feelings for her you should explore these feelings further. Her "mix signals" you allude to has me a bit unsure of her motives. She could just be testing you. But what it comes right down to is your feeling for her and if they are growing. If you're happy remaining friends than I don't think you're ready to move forward. Ultimately she'll reveal herself if she's interested in more. But at anytime you feel she wanted to move your relationship up to the next level and you don't move on it, she'll feel rejected and probably move on. It's hard to remain just friends with someone you're attracted to physically and more deeply emotionally. Good luck and remember ...

    [FONT=verdana,geneva]"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"[/FONT]

    -[FONT=verdana,geneva] John Greenleaf Whittier [/FONT]
     
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