so my best friend turned out to be poz

[Owl]

thanks guys

 

[mattsrod7]

I do know a good deal about it, HIV takes years to progress anyways so if you can hold that off in its infancy stage thats the best way to take care of it, before meds are a requirement. Catching it early would have a great effect on the prognosis until there is better treatment.

 

[Gecko4lif]

Really GECKO4LIFE? Is that want you thought best to write?

Im just being honest. Play with fire get burnt. It is a unfortunate situation but unless he was born with all 3 then it was likely ultimately avoidable.

Upside is he can be a public speaker now who talks at schools

 

[HungThickProf]

Im just being honest. Play with fire get burnt. It is a unfortunate situation but unless he was born with all 3 then it was likely ultimately avoidable.

Upside is he can be a public speaker now who talks at schools

Man you are some piece of work. Someone gets a virus that can turn lethal, and that's what the fuck you have to say?! Go fuck yourself with a splintery cock, and don't even think about extending the courtesy of using lube to yourself. You always kick people when they're down? I know that you have the right to say what you want, but some things just shouldn't be said- especially that.

Yes, you're right- safe sex should always be practiced, but the damage has been done. "He can be a public speaker now, who talks at schools." Motha'fucka, really? Dumb Ass.

To the original poster, I have quite a bit of experience with HIV/AIDS. My father died from AIDS when I was 14 (he was gay), I have an aunt and uncle who both passed from AIDS, and I have a few friends who are HIV+. The only thing you can do is be supportive, remind him that he is loved and that he's going to be healthy and live a long life. At the same time, learn from this experience. Plenty of us have had close calls at some point or another, and it's important that we realize that even though the sex may be good, we're still taking a risk that's not worth it. One of the many things that you should learn from being a member of this site, is that people lie all the time about stupid and important shit. I know you said that you've had your moments when you weren't safe (in the past so have I), but it didn't take long for me to learn that you can't trust tricks with your life. I am so sorry about your friend, but you'll both get through this. I promise!

Take Care!

Dante'

 

[guestfuse]

I think a positive outcome for him would be to use his experience in life to teach others.

 

[Voglener]

I remember back in 2001 when my best friend left a message on my voicemail. He sounded so somber in the message saying something to the effect that he "had something to tell me." I kinda guessed he was going to tell me he was HIV but when he actually said the words I was literally heartsick. He died in early 2004 but while he was still here we traveled to different cities around the States and did a few things he wanted to do. I miss him terribly. Terribly.

Do what you can to support your friend in whatever way you can. Even with the medical advancements made with treating HIV and Aids, people are still dying from these diseases.

 

[Voglener]

I remember back in 2001 when my best friend left a message on my voicemail. He sounded so somber in the message saying something to the effect that he "had something to tell me." I kinda guessed he was going to tell me he was HIV but when he actually said the words I was literally heartsick. He died in early 2004 but while he was still here we traveled to different cities around the States and did a few things he wanted to do. I miss him terribly. Terribly.

Do what you can to support your friend in whatever way you can. Even with the medical advancements made with treating HIV and Aids, people are still dying from these diseases.

 

[Voglener]

I remember back in 2001 when my best friend left a message on my voicemail. He sounded so somber in the message saying something to the effect that he "had something to tell me." I kinda guessed he was going to tell me he was HIV but when he actually said the words I was literally heartsick. He died in early 2004 but while he was still here we traveled to different cities around the States and did a few things he wanted to do. I miss him terribly. Terribly.

Do what you can to support your friend in whatever way you can. Even with the medical advancements made with treating HIV and Aids, people are still dying from these diseases.

 

[onewatcher]

A very timely post.. Someone very close to me just told me last week his test came back Pos. I told him I loved him very much, and we would get though this. I wanted him to know I 'll be there for him in any way he needed me. He has withdrawn for a while, which I can certainly understand. When he is able to talk to me about it, I'll be there. Now is not the time for anyone to judge someone for contracting a virus. And that's all it is, a virus. Modern medicine has come a long way. Remember it was only 1918 that the flu virus killed thousands in this country. We've advanced so very much and have much more knowledge. Now, we need much more compassion!

 

[BigInBellevue]

I could use some advice. A good (and intimate) friend where I used to live (and where I occasionally visit) is usually cautious, but he got into a dungeon situation where in the heat of the moment he did not protest enough to avoid being barebacked. He tested positive a while later and feels quite sure that had to be when he acquired HIV. For a while I worried that he might take his life. It has affected his relationship with his girl friend, whom he really loves, and was planning to join in another state. He has difficulty getting into any sort of relationship now with men, but he seems to need M2M contact. I have remained supportive and in frequent contact, but only long-distance. At some time one of us may visit the other. I never knowingly play with someone HIV positive. What should I do if and when we meet? He will want sexual contact; he is quite enamored of me. Do I indulge in oral? Anal with condoms? What is your advice?

 

[azladd]

I could use some advice. A good (and intimate) friend where I used to live (and where I occasionally visit) is usually cautious, but he got into a dungeon situation where in the heat of the moment he did not protest enough to avoid being barebacked. He tested positive a while later and feels quite sure that had to be when he acquired HIV. For a while I worried that he might take his life. It has affected his relationship with his girl friend, whom he really loves, and was planning to join in another state. He has difficulty getting into any sort of relationship now with men, but he seems to need M2M contact. I have remained supportive and in frequent contact, but only long-distance. At some time one of us may visit the other. I never knowingly play with someone HIV positive. What should I do if and when we meet? He will want sexual contact; he is quite enamored of me. Do I indulge in oral? Anal with condoms? What is your advice?

Not too sure what to say about that one. Its abit confusing. He has a girlfriend he loves but he allowed himself to be barebacked in some random situation? Now that he's infected he is now having trouble finding male relationships, and now you're considering what to do sexually just because he has a fancy for you?I guess a real friend would atleast try to get him to sort out where he stands emotionally first as it seems he is very vulnerable. Does is still love is girlfriend? Are they trying to reconcile? If not he is now solely looking for a male relationship, and if so, monogamous or open? Its kind of all over the place and unless he sorts himself out, you'll be caught up in the emotional turmoil as well.I dont see where you indulging in his spontaneous sexual desires is going to be any help to his current situation. Be a true friend and help him figure his way. Once he figures out what he wants in life and what direction he's prepared to go in, it'll be better for you and him both should you decide to pursue things further.

 

[Gecko4lif]

Man you are some piece of work. Someone gets a virus that can turn lethal, and that's what the fuck you have to say?! Go fuck yourself with a splintery cock, and don't even think about extending the courtesy of using lube to yourself.

So reactionary. You would think you would know better by now.

You always kick people when they're down? I know that you have the right to say what you want, but some things just shouldn't be said- especially that.

Yes I do. I call it how I see it. The same repetitive coddling and such is just a pointless show. I doubt anybody will give this any thought tonight while going about their business, so dont you try to act morally superior to me when I do the same thing only instead of bullshitting I express what I really think. But im not completely without sympathy I just usually reserve it for people I feel deserve it. Like small children. They are my soft spot i suppose.

Yes, you're right- safe sex should always be practiced, but the damage has been done. "He can be a public speaker now, who talks at schools." Motha'fucka, really? Dumb Ass.

Young guy (presumably). Prime of life (also presumably). Stricken with multiple diseases by way carefree living or what have you. Sounds like Prime public speaking material to me. Shit it could even be a lifetime movie. If you throw in him getting fired from his job you have the plot from Philadelphia. Public speaking doe sound like a reasonable spin though. Making the rounds at highschool and telling his story. Hell it might even kill to bird with 1 stone if you consider that he is performing a public survive and it has the possibly of actually preventing something like this from happening to a number of the youth. But thats just my thoughts on the matter.

 

[CuteBoiSAV]

Gecko= Yawn....

 

[HungThickProf]

So reactionary. You would think you would know better by now. Yes I do. I call it how I see it. The same repetitive coddling and such is just a pointless show. I doubt anybody will give this any thought tonight while going about their business, so dont you try to act morally superior to me when I do the same thing only instead of bullshitting I express what I really think. But im not completely without sympathy I just usually reserve it for people I feel deserve it. Like small children. They are my soft spot i suppose. Young guy (presumably). Prime of life (also presumably). Stricken with multiple diseases by way carefree living or what have you. Sounds like Prime public speaking material to me. Shit it could even be a lifetime movie. If you throw in him getting fired from his job you have the plot from Philadelphia. Public speaking doe sound like a reasonable spin though. Making the rounds at highschool and telling his story. Hell it might even kill to bird with 1 stone if you consider that he is performing a public survive and it has the possibly of actually preventing something like this from happening to a number of the youth. But thats just my thoughts on the matter.

Wow! Well I'll tell you this. You're still a child, and puerile child at that. We all make mistakes in life, big and small, and how dare you kick sand in someone's eyes just because of it. It only takes that one little mistake to change someone's life. I have a friend who got HIV who always practices safe sex, but he actually got the virus from giving someone head. I'm sure that you don't get blow jobs with condoms- most people don't, and most people sucking dick don't make it a point to tell someone to strap one on, but tell me, is that going to influence your sex life? Probably not. Should my friend go from high school to high school and share his story as well? I bet if a girl decided to throw you a bone and suck your dick, you wouldn't stop her and say "Hold up! Wrap it up!" Of course you wouldn't, because you immediate thought is "it's just head." You have no idea how this person got HIV. His best friend (the original poster) said that he's been known to be a little risky in the past, but it doesn't mean that he took that one pop shot up the ass.

And FYI, I'm not on a moral high-horse, I just don't deal with assholes very well. No one is coddling the original poster, we're all showing our support. We all recognize that precautions probably should have been taken, but like I said, the damage has already been done- it's now where do we go from here? Have you ever had someone you truly care about tell you that they're HIV+? If not, you can hear how terrified they are. Not ONLY because the first thoughts that go through their mind are "I'm going to die," but because of what comes next as they live. People who close to their families' are afraid to tell them, not because of the judgment that you agree with passing, but because it will break their hearts. Most people still aren't educating about HIV and AIDS. You tell them that someone is HIV+ and they go on red alert. You think his best friend is going to be able to just casually go on dates? No- the moment he says "I'm HIV+," 9 times out of 10, the conversation will stop there. No one wants to be rejected, and no one wants a single mistake to follow them, or be what takes them to their death bed.

So we're not coddling or feeding bullshit- we just know what lies ahead and it's not an easy road.

 

[Gecko4lif]

Wow! Well I'll tell you this. You're still a child, and puerile child at that. We all make mistakes in life, big and small, and how dare you kick sand in someone's eyes just because of it. It only takes that one little mistake to change someone's life. I have a friend who got HIV who always practices safe sex, but he actually got the virus from giving someone head. I'm sure that you don't get blow jobs with condoms- most people don't, and most people sucking dick don't make it a point to tell someone to strap one on, but tell me, is that going to influence your sex life? Probably not. Should my friend go from high school to high school and share his story as well? I bet if a girl decided to throw you a bone and suck your dick, you wouldn't stop her and say "Hold up! Wrap it up!" Of course you wouldn't, because you immediate thought is "it's just head." You have no idea how this person got HIV. His best friend (the original poster) said that he's been known to be a little risky in the past, but it doesn't mean that he took that one pop shot up the ass.

Dont assume to know my habits. Im not exactly the most normal person in that regard thanks to my borderline paranoia.

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And FYI, I'm not on a moral high-horse, I just don't deal with assholes very well. No one is coddling the original poster, we're all showing our support. We all recognize that precautions probably should have been taken, but like I said, the damage has already been done- it's now where do we go from here? Have you ever had someone you truly care about tell you that they're HIV+? If not, you can hear how terrified they are. Not ONLY because the first thoughts that go through their mind are "I'm going to die," but because of what comes next as they live. People who close to their families' are afraid to tell them, not because of the judgment that you agree with passing, but because it will break their hearts. Most people still aren't educating about HIV and AIDS. You tell them that someone is HIV+ and they go on red alert. You think his best friend is going to be able to just casually go on dates? No- the moment he says "I'm HIV+," 9 times out of 10, the conversation will stop there. No one wants to be rejected, and no one wants a single mistake to follow them, or be what takes them to their death bed.

So we're not coddling or feeding bullshit- we just know what lies ahead and it's not an easy road.

None of which has anything to do with what I said. Good job.

 

[yoursgetsmine]

So sad, and so many ways to contract. We all let our guard down....either because of alcohol consumption, horniness, familiarity with the partner, emotional attachment to the partner (being in love or lust either long term or for the moment), feeling lucky (odds I won't get it this "one" time thing), he/she looks clean, misjudgment of the partner because of their economic or social position (they'd never have it because they're so educated or financially well off thing), the shear overwhelming physical appearance of the intended partner (I gotta have this person thing), the body (if a guy the "size queen" thing or if a woman the hot body), drug usage and mind not engaged correctly, and time factor (I only have a short time and better take advantage of this while I can thing), believing the other person when they tell you "they're clean" and finally social networks where we start to believe that we really know the other person EVEN though we just met OR only met them on-line and therefore they are my good friend and wouldn't lie to me thing.............it is a loaded gun out there folks....and our own weakness will play against us if not coherent or on guard.

 

[HungThickProf]

Dont assume to know my habits. Im not exactly the most normal person in that regard thanks to my borderline paranoia.

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None of which has anything to do with what I said. Good job.

Actually it does- don't see what you want to see. The point that I was making is that if your mother found out that she had lung cancer, or liver failure, you would look at her, your family, and your friends and say "she shouldn't have been drinking or smoking!" Even if you were thinking it, I'd like to believe that you'd have enough respect, class, and compassion to just keep your fucking mouth shut. And the fact that put up a link to a site where you can purchase flavored condoms proves absolutely nothing. I could post a link to ku klux klan website, it sure as fuck doesn't mean I'm a member. You try so hard, but you fail so well. Again, you're a child, I don't know why I bother.

 

[monel]

All i can say is this: I know i practice bareback sex with some men. I'm def not going to judge anyone on safe sex. But, if anyone knowingly practices unsafe sex (gay, st8, bi), you get what you deserve. And if I were to ever get the those 3 dreaded letters, I will not (nor should anyone else) throw a pity party for me. I don't deserve one. Period.

I find your post troubling. I agree that safe sex practices are a must and, should one partake in riskier practices then he is responsible for the potential consequence. Maybe this is what you meant. However, to say that one deserves to contract a life altering disease for engaging in unprotected sex suggests he has done something for which he needs to be punished and that HIV or some other ailment is a just sentence. That kind of Dickensian thinking is cruel. Nobody "deserves" to get sick merely for having sex. Not even you stlbigman.

 

[HungThickProf]

I find your post troubling. I agree that safe sex practices are a must and, should one partake in riskier practices then he is responsible for the potential consequence. Maybe this is what you meant. However, to say that one deserves to contract a life altering disease for engaging in unprotected sex suggests he has done something for which he needs to be punished and that HIV or some other ailment is a just sentence. That kind of Dickensian thinking is cruel. Nobody "deserves" to get sick merely for having sex. Not even you stlbigman.

Thank you, and Amen!

 

[CuteBoiSAV]

Dante, You and a few others have restored my faith in humanity after reading some of the troll posts in here. This is why people like myself have such a rough go. The jokes hurt people. I didn't ASK to be poz. I don't WANT to be poz. But I LIVE poz. I have never had a seroconcordant relationship after transitioning. It's rough, and for some jackwagon to stand there and say, "You deserve it." (Gecko, Stlbigman, and anyother ignorant person that wants to flap their jaw just to hear their own voice.) I would challenge you to a week in my shoes. See what it's like. And I knew all about it before I transitioned, the gal who told me, had tissues ready, etc. thinking I was gonna cry. My response was to comfort HER, because she was more upset than ME.

I had unprotected sex with two people in the time frame when I contracted it. Both of whom I was very close to. One was a marine here in SC, who I thought I really liked. Turns out he was poz, knew he was, and was lying to people(he even showed me a fake test paper.) I know 4 other people he nailed by the same method, and they all filed assault charges against him after 2 others turned poz from him. The other was my boyfriend at the time, who I still care deeply about.

I don't know which I contracted it from. Nor do I really care, it's not worth dwelling on or knowing. But it's presumptious and impertinant for people to simply ASSUME things. It's insulting, and a totally bogus way of expressing yourself. There is a saying.... "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Some people really should learn this.