so my best friend turned out to be poz

[monel]

Cuteboisav, I find your story heartbreaking. I don't mean to extend to you any unwanted and unnecessary pity and I know that HIV is, today, a manageable virus that does not necessarily carry the death sentence it once did. But I cannot imagine the difficulty that it inflicts on those infected. I pray that a full cure is discovered which will return normalcy to the lives of those affected. I admire your strength.

 

[august86]

Im just being honest. Play with fire get burnt. It is a unfortunate situation but unless he was born with all 3 then it was likely ultimately avoidable.

Upside is he can be a public speaker now who talks at schools

The only thing that comes to mind after reading your ignorant, reckless and insensitive responses is the reason behind corporal punishment. :hitwithrock:

Yes, you're right- safe sex should always be practiced, but the damage has been done.
At the same time, learn from this experience. Plenty of us have had close calls at some point or another, and it's important that we realize that even though the sex may be good, we're still taking a risk that's not worth it. One of the many things that you should learn from being a member of this site, is that people lie all the time about stupid and important shit. I know you said that you've had your moments when you weren't safe (in the past so have I), but it didn't take long for me to learn that you can't trust tricks with your life. I am so sorry about your friend, but you'll both get through this.

Wise beyond your years!

But, if anyone knowingly practices unsafe sex (gay, st8, bi), you get what you deserve.

You get what you deserve? seriously?!
I understand that all of our actions have consequences, but to allude to the fact that said actions deserve punishment of such nature, I beg to differ.
We all know there are various ways of getting HIV, and some of us can thank our lucky stars that we didn't acquire the virus the first time- many are not as fortunate.

The reaction of take meds immediately is a normal reaction. Many medical people encourage HIV pos people to rather keep the immune system as strong as possible by correct nutrition and excercise. Only once the T cell count drops below a specific level, then ARV medication is given. ARV medications come with their own sets of problems and side effects. In my province the HIV infection rate is one of the highest in the world. Infection rates are between 40 & 60 percent. Hetrosexual transmission is the highest transmission. Here in South Africa the devastation is very plain to see. There are thousands of homes where all of the adults have died and children as young as 12 could be left to look after the younger children in the home.

Being a fellow South African, I can attest to the reality of the situation, which is why I also try to do my bit in HIV/AIDS awareness in the hope that mindsets will be changed; actions prevented.

I lost a cousin to it a few days ago, and I would not wish that on anyone, no matter if "deserved" or not. Not in a million years did I think that my life would be directly affected by HIV. Naïve ignorance maybe?

My 2 cents for the original poster:
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
All you can do is give your friend the support (not pity or judgement) that he needs, which won't be a problem for you as you seem like a good friend anyways. :wink:

My only hope is that we, whether 'positive' or 'negative', live our lives responsibly and take care of ourselves- chances are, no-one else will.

 

[myass111aa]

This is why I think every person on this earth that has HIV needs to watch RENT. No day but today. Not saying that you should go all-out, but don't freak out. It's hardly a death sentence anymore!

 

[BigInBellevue]

I gave enough information so that I thought I might be able to get some advice. I didn't want to write a book. He is a bisexual man. He had a live-in GF who left town. He was supposed to join her after getting employment. He loves her. They are still in touch and have visited - but no sex. She knows of his need for M2M - and has actually watched us. I have been in frequent touch and done what I can. I am only asking what I should or should not do if he ever visits me - which he has had as a goal for 10 years. I can't help it that he idolizes me and wants me sexually. Please don't judge him (or me) based on my brief synopsis. Please don't make it into something more than I have outlined. I may have to spend some time with him within the coming year. I don't want to hurt him, but neither do I want to catch HIV. I have no experience with someone who knows he has HIV and has revealed it.

Not too sure what to say about that one. Its abit confusing. He has a girlfriend he loves but he allowed himself to be barebacked in some random situation? Now that he's infected he is now having trouble finding male relationships, and now you're considering what to do sexually just because he has a fancy for you?I guess a real friend would atleast try to get him to sort out where he stands emotionally first as it seems he is very vulnerable. Does is still love is girlfriend? Are they trying to reconcile? If not he is now solely looking for a male relationship, and if so, monogamous or open? Its kind of all over the place and unless he sorts himself out, you'll be caught up in the emotional turmoil as well.I dont see where you indulging in his spontaneous sexual desires is going to be any help to his current situation. Be a true friend and help him figure his way. Once he figures out what he wants in life and what direction he's prepared to go in, it'll be better for you and him both should you decide to pursue things further.