How have you felt when a man you're involved with gets lots of attention from women?
Is that what you mean when you say "... I can do the same"?
I know that you're asking Ethyl, but I've experienced this and I am a jealous person. We don't have an open relationship.
For me how I feel depends on how trustworthy the man is.
My first love got a lot of attention from women. He was gorgeous. We dated from the time I was 15-20 and then off and on again for the next few years. Almost every single one of my female friends made a play for him, which was painful. For example, when we'd been together for about 6 months, one of my friends who was 16 drove over to his house, went striaght to his bedroom and just started taking off her clothes. She wanted him to take her virginity. When I was 22, one of my roommates asked him for a ride somewhere and while he was driving, she took off every single article of clothing she was wearing while she was sitting in the passenger seat, in broad daylight, in an effort to seduce him. He didn't sleep with either of them, but he had been unfaithful to me once before and I could never forget that. While I knew that other women envied me, I was never comfortable with the amount of female attention he received because I knew that he was weak-willed and women just threw themselves at him. I think part of the reason women tried to seduce him all the time was that there was something about him that just made you think there was a possibility. He gave off that sort of vibe, and everyone felt it. He enjoyed being chased so much that he gave off signals telling women, "Yes, chase me. Maybe, just maybe..." I wasn't just worried that he'd cheat. There was a part of me that was always worried about whether another friend would betray my trust or that he would be tempted to replace me with someone more beautiful, or more intelligent, or more interesting. I was sure that he could do better than me.
TheBoyfriend is also beautiful. Before we began dating, every one of my single friends wanted him and I heard many of their naughty thoughts from their own mouths. I know he gets female attention because he tells me every time a woman flirts with him and I do the same. We tell each other everything. The difference with him is that even though I'm sure that he could also do better than me, he's loyal and trustworthy. While he knows that he has me wrapped around his finger, he wouldn't betray my trust. The way TheBoyfriend behaves towards me and other people tells people that he'd never ever stray. He just gives off that vibe, the one that says, "Don't even bother. I'm hers." The attention he receives doesn't make me feel insecure the way that it did with my first love. So, it does sort of makes me feel good when someone appreciates how attractive he is. I enjoy it, too.
It's exactly the same for him. Last night when we were talking about the book signing party, TheBoyfriend emphasized that knowing that I would reject all men who flirted with me was the reason why he enjoyed the attention I received. The only person that he's jealous of is my first love, because he's the only person that he suspects could actually steal me. He said, "If your first love had shown up and started flirting with you when you were dressed like that at that party, then I would not have been happy."
