So Straight they can't be Gay -- Uber Maleness

LittleBigBoy

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Has anyone else felt like there's a phenomenon in popular culture whereby a straight man who is powerful, i.e. an alpha male, can perform sex acts that would be considered "gay" but is not labelled as such because of his overwhelming "straightness" or "maleness"?

I thought of this while playing Grand Theft Auto 5, where one dominant character jokes that a more submissive male character should give him a handjob or suck his dick if he demands it. There's also the similar pop culture concept of one man making another "his bitch" in prison, where the dominant male can engage in anal sex with another man but I'm not sure society would deem him "gay". In fact, it's almost like the male who submits to him is deemed "feminine" while he remains "straight".

I don't put much stock in labels like gay, straight, or bi, or value a male label over a feminine, I just wonder if anyone else has noticed something like this.
 

House21

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Having worked in prisons in the past, there is definitely an odd dynamic. It's a different society with it's own rules. Believe it or not, most of the sex that goes on in men's prisons is consensual. There is a population of men willing to trade sexual favors for protection, prison hooch (alcohol), weapons, cigarettes, whatever. However, there are also issues of power, dominance and control. Often, the rape of another man, while sexual in nature, truly has nothing to do with sex. It's a display of power and dominance by the rapist. Moreover, within the dynamic, the man who was raped is considered to be gay while the rapist himself can still claim to be straight. I've heard "a hole is a hole" from the dominant/rapist while at the same time they say "he's gay because he took it in the ass".

Like I said, it's a weird dynamic. However, I don't think that it extends to popular culture. More likely I think that GTAV reflects the culture described above and you're over extending it to society as a whole.
 

Perados

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"a hole is a hole" is an arguement i have heared very often by straight guys... But its an arguement that doesnt works for me.
If you ask these guys: does it makes you gay, if you see a naket men and get an erection? - the answer useually is YES... So, how do you fuck a male ass without an erection? (cause you claim it as not gay fucking a male)

On the other hand doesnt needs the guy who get fucked an erection... He doesnt even have to like it - he just has to bend
 

bigbucky

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I have heard of guys who "go gay" behind prison walls but not when they are out. I can't confirm this because the ex-cons I know, don't talk about such things. makes me think they were the "bitch" and don't want anybody to know.
 
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deleted858776

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I have a couple of thoughts on this phenomenon. One is that a very masculine dominant male is seen as a sexual animal - who is seeking sex at all times and needs relief. So there is some type of "immunity". Kinda like when your cat eats your parakeet. - what he did was wrong - but not for a cat- he was hungry. My other thought is that our society tolerates a different set of rules for dominant classifications of role I.e. Rich people don't pay taxes, cops get free donuts, doctors get free trips, politicians get better healthcare and retirement plans.
 
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deleted3782

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Has anyone else felt like there's a phenomenon in popular culture whereby a straight man who is powerful, i.e. an alpha male, can perform sex acts that would be considered "gay" but is not labelled as such because of his overwhelming "straightness" or "maleness"?

Oh yea, lots of guys fit this description...Rock Hudson, James Dean, Marlon Brando...all too straight/alpha to ever be gay.
 

rd62624

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I have heard of guys who "go gay" behind prison walls but not when they are out. I can't confirm this because the ex-cons I know, don't talk about such things. makes me think they were the "bitch" and don't want anybody to know.
A small percent come out on the down low. A friend was locked up for a number of years he came of prison on the down low, ever tho he had a girlfriend and had a child by her. He would still have sex with men. He said that it was diffrent. He could be a little rougher with a guy than his girl. go figure
 

tncentaur

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It's interesting to me to see people still exploring 'either you are this or that' when sexuality is a continuum. I know plenty of men who enjoy sex with other men either sporadically or somewhat regularly who more often than not fuck women. They aren't concerned what that makes them, because to a man they feel that male sexuality is impulsive and more exciting that way that trying to fit in someone else's categorizations. Also, they don't seriously entertain the notion that their sexual life is something the public has the right to know about. They don't see their behavior as furtive but private. Morality is taking responsibility for your own actions, and what others think is irrelevant. To assume an alpha male is a PENETRATOR means that you really don't understand the full possibilities of male dominance. I guess my point is that real alpha males express and enjoy sexual polyvalence, or as a friend of mine says, eating pizza or liking cannoli doesn't make you Italian.
 

LittleBigBoy

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Thanks for responding folks, glad other people find the concept worth talking about. Just to be clear, I wasn't basing my view of reality off of a video game, more like the scenario in the game provided an example of the phenomenon. Another example is the porn trope of Cuckolding where the more sexually powerful male can make another less powerful male suck his dick or watch as the dominant male fucks his female partner.

Personally, I like uneven power dynamics like this, being somewhat of a submissive person myself with fantasies of being powerful. I do agree with str8uncutdude, that humans in general seem to grant a powerful/dominant person (a king, rockstar, politician) a certain kind of immunity over the rest of us. Probably going back to the animal alpha-male dynamic where the most powerful male was doing the most fucking and the others in the group had to accept it or risk challenging the more powerful male.
 
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twoton

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I think it's also cultural. Something I read, years ago, talked about how in some cultures, notably South American, the definitions of what's "gay" and what's acceptable for straight men are much different from what they are in the U.S. For example, in some countries the 'top' in a male-male situation is straight as long as he is mostly interested in women.
 
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deleted858776

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Sex is one of humans most complex functions. So tied up into culture, society, religion, ego, love, hate, relationships, beauty, attraction, drive -- it like God gave us something that always be fascinating to us.
 

bigmatt1983

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Has anyone else felt like there's a phenomenon in popular culture whereby a straight man who is powerful, i.e. an alpha male, can perform sex acts that would be considered "gay" but is not labelled as such because of his overwhelming "straightness" or "maleness"?

always thought that was how the ones in denial about their homosexual feelings acted