So, there is this midget that has been cruising me...

[enkiduo]

Wow..Just wow..
Brings back memory of bad times gone past. (not this bad though)

 

[BiItalianBro]

Holy Mother of All Living Creatures Big and Small !!!! mfg:

Between the "bad sex" thread and this nightmare, I am not feeling too bad about my self imposed celibacy now. :amish:

 

[ZOS23xy]

And little people ain't good for a nice 69ing session....

 

[ssongs]

Awesome story! I've been in several situations (although not with a midget) where I'm thinking, "What the hell am I doing?" Often my fantasies never play out the same way as they do in my mind.

Also I once had an opportunity to get with a midget. She had black hair and a really huge forehead and was actually somewhat attractive. But this was when I lived in Italy and at the time I didn't know a lick of Italian so I didn't pursue it. Probably for the best though.

 

[BernieMBF]

I had an experience not too long ago with a Chassidic Jew myself. He was 18, but-with his beard and thick body hair-looked a lot older. I didn't find him to be all that attractive, but when he took out his cock-OMFG! He was really long and really thick! Probably about 8 by 5! I wanted to suck him off, but he wouldn't let me. He only wanted to watch lesbian porn on my computer (probably doesn't have access to it otherwise) and jerk off twice. While it was hot to watch that gorgeous cock, the whole incident was frustrating to me on many levels. I've met ostensibly straight Chassidic guys that are very hot (probably not hung like this guy, but still...), and would've had sex with them, if they asked. But I agree-body odor, mouth odor, skid marks, and bossiness are all deal breakers for me. Regardless if they're Chassidic, Jewish, or otherwise. I'm sorry that you experienced that, but hopefully, you'll have better hookups in the future.

 

[Red_Rebel]

Omfg thats just terrible! i havent experienced something THAT bad but whenever i hook up with a guy at home and realize that im actually not into them, all i do is pick up my phone-pretend its my wife/police dad/or angry homophobic mom calling and theyre on their way home. always worked lol

 

[B_limbs]

Sorry your need to exploit a litle person as a sex toy for your own need to humiliate others by having sex with people you need to judge to make your feel superior. Glad to hear you fucked yourself!

 

[BarelyMoreThan6]

Too funny... been in the same situation with someone that kept hitting on me the same way. Pretty much ended the same way. BADLY!

I will have to say that your story however has not killed my fantasy adventure with Wee-Man... Yup... I'd do that... in a second!

 

[enderwiggen88]

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...

Yeah. Yeah I did.

 

[DozerLA]

"I'm getting a lousy blowjob from a smelly midget"

Best. Line. Ever.

That said, I do think beefy hairy chassidic/orthodox Jews are sexy - I live in a very orthodox Jewish area surrounded by Jews and all day long I see hairy, beefy, beard, handsome Jews walking around - some Jews are hung small, but some are hung extra big and extra THICK - nothing hotter than a big fat Jew dong.

(*And I predict that most Jewish wives are uptight about sex and don't give good head or refuse to suck cock altogether, so I think str8 Jewish guys would appreciate a really hot BJ by a guy who knows how to suck or take it up the ass...)

 

[deleted213967]

Do you say midget or little person?
Anyway, he takes the bus outside my apartment most mornings and i see him on my way to the subway. he's not hot at all but he's really bold about leering at me openly and i give the guy props for being so bold. the notion of having sex with him did intrigue me simply because the thought of it seemed so wrong. and dirty. and therefore kinda hot.
i've been seeing this guy for months but a coupla weeks ago i walk directly up to him and ask him if he wants to come back to my place and suck my cock. he gives me the once over and tells me that he wants more than to just blow me. he wants me to reciprocate. again, i give him props. instead of just saying yes to my bold offer, he ups the ante and secures some play for himself. okay, this might be really dirty i think and i'm kinda turned on as we walk back to my apartment.
when we get there, the guy starts taking off his clothes. unbeknownst to me, he's a hasidic jew and starts taking off the undergarments they wear. he gets naked and it's not a pretty sight. it's like looking a naked version of jerry seinfeld's uncle leo. except in miniature. he's got a tiny dick and suddenly this hot, perverted fantasy of mine has become a unappealing horror show in my apartment.
he lays down on my bed. i try to resolve what's left of the situation. i lie on top of him covering him completely. immediately i get this whiff of him which is musty and old and i immediately think back to the hasidic undergarments lying on the floor in the next room and realize that he has worn them for several days. he wants to kiss me and i oblige but it's bad and now all i can focus on are his bad teeth and the various moles on his body. someone save me, please.
still not content to call it off, i try one more gambit and stick my cock in his mouth. that was the whole point of this, right? to face fuck a midget and blow down his throat. anyway, the guy has a small mouth and tries to start sucking but can't get his mouth around my cock and starts scraping the sides of my cock with his teeth. suddenly, he starts to get bossy. he orders me to start playing with his tits. incredibly, i do instead of stopping this horror show right then and there.
i'm getting a lousy blowjob from a smelly midget who's lying my bed in my apartment and i'm playing with his tits like his bitch. jeez, how did i get here?
this continues for about 30 seconds. i want to end this freakshow now but the words aren't coming out of my mouth. i pull my cock out of his overcrowded mouth and tell him i'm going to get some lube. i figure i'll play with his tits for a coupla minutes and then show him the door. anyway, i get off the bed and go in the next room on my way to get the lube when i look down and see the hasidic underwear and notice a nice large skid mark on his shorts. well, that was all she wrote. i immediately told him that we had to stop. confused, he agreed.
moral of the story (i imagine there are probably several)...sometimes the hot, perverse fantasy you have in your filthy mind, should stay a hot, perverse fantasy. instead of a sad, horrifying reality.

My fantasy would be to see this thread under Fictitious Stories.

 

[atlclgurl]

Oh my gawd, how awful for you!

I've never been tempted by a "little person" but have had more than a couple "oh fuck, how'd I get HERE?" situations!

 

[rawbone8]

Do you say midget or little person?
Anyway, he takes the bus outside my apartment most mornings and i see him on my way to the subway. he's not hot at all but he's really bold about leering at me openly and i give the guy props for being so bold. the notion of having sex with him did intrigue me simply because the thought of it seemed so wrong. and dirty. and therefore kinda hot.
i've been seeing this guy for months but a coupla weeks ago i walk directly up to him and ask him if he wants to come back to my place and suck my cock. he gives me the once over and tells me that he wants more than to just blow me. he wants me to reciprocate. again, i give him props. instead of just saying yes to my bold offer, he ups the ante and secures some play for himself. okay, this might be really dirty i think and i'm kinda turned on as we walk back to my apartment.
when we get there, the guy starts taking off his clothes. unbeknownst to me, he's a hasidic jew and starts taking off the undergarments they wear. he gets naked and it's not a pretty sight. it's like looking a naked version of jerry seinfeld's uncle leo. except in miniature. he's got a tiny dick and suddenly this hot, perverted fantasy of mine has become a unappealing horror show in my apartment.
he lays down on my bed. i try to resolve what's left of the situation. i lie on top of him covering him completely. immediately i get this whiff of him which is musty and old and i immediately think back to the hasidic undergarments lying on the floor in the next room and realize that he has worn them for several days. he wants to kiss me and i oblige but it's bad and now all i can focus on are his bad teeth and the various moles on his body. someone save me, please.
still not content to call it off, i try one more gambit and stick my cock in his mouth. that was the whole point of this, right? to face fuck a midget and blow down his throat. anyway, the guy has a small mouth and tries to start sucking but can't get his mouth around my cock and starts scraping the sides of my cock with his teeth. suddenly, he starts to get bossy. he orders me to start playing with his tits. incredibly, i do instead of stopping this horror show right then and there.
i'm getting a lousy blowjob from a smelly midget who's lying my bed in my apartment and i'm playing with his tits like his bitch. jeez, how did i get here?
this continues for about 30 seconds. i want to end this freakshow now but the words aren't coming out of my mouth. i pull my cock out of his overcrowded mouth and tell him i'm going to get some lube. i figure i'll play with his tits for a coupla minutes and then show him the door. anyway, i get off the bed and go in the next room on my way to get the lube when i look down and see the hasidic underwear and notice a nice large skid mark on his shorts. well, that was all she wrote. i immediately told him that we had to stop. confused, he agreed.
moral of the story (i imagine there are probably several)...sometimes the hot, perverse fantasy you have in your filthy mind, should stay a hot, perverse fantasy. instead of a sad, horrifying reality.

I had the feeling it ended without the classic set-up line from the talent agent:

"What the heck do you call an act like that?"

Followed by the punchline "I call it 'The Aristocrats'. :tongue:

 

[AlteredEgo]

I had the feeling it ended without the classic set-up line from the talent agent:

"What the heck do you call an act like that?"

Followed by the punchline "I call it 'The Aristocrats'. :tongue:

His story needs more urine and vomit. :biggrin1:

 

[D_Dick_Everhard]

As far out as Inside Man's story is, I give it plausibility.

A little over a month ago I went to a party with my buddy for the opening of a "tobacco accessory" store and ended up meeting three girls. The first was giving me hell which I turned into credibility towards to other two girls and she walked off somewhere and I didn't see her the rest of the night.

For the next hour I was pulling some major kino on the two remaining girls. The first I ended up walking to the back of the back of the buildings near the bathrooms and I urged her against the wall and we made out. Pleasant so far.

I leave the girl I'd made out with to get some beers for my buddy and I and I tell her we're going to an acoustic joint across the street. Girl #2 grabs my hand and follows us - by this time we've had her flash us twice, once of which I capitalized on. This girl is by no means attractive; great body, amazing tits, butter face. I had at least 4 or 5 more cheap beers in me by then... just enough to take me past that point of caring who's sucking my dick... but not enough to fuck just anyone. I start talking to the owner of the acoustic place and she's trying to make passes to kiss me the whole time (she's obviously had too much Jack). I keep scolding her for interrupting me... the conversation with the owner eventually subsides... I get bored and take her back to my car with my buddy right beside me.

We both promote and look out for each other whenever we go out picking up girls but we'd never done anything sexual together. We get back to my car to put away some glass merchandise my buddy had won and she's still pestering us. I tell her to take off her shirt and motion for her to come closer... as I said, I'm way past caring who has their mouth on my cock at this point (even though I'm pretty sure by her teeth [the ones she hadn't rotted out] she was a 3+ pack/day smoker). I'm pretty horny and hard by now, probably from the alcohol and her amazing body, so I gently push her down to her knees and grab her neck and pull her up to my jeans. She knew just what to do, I told her to do the same for my buddy. She starts going down on us both for a couple seconds each. Thirty seconds in and I'm getting sobered up real fast and my buddy is pushing her away and tit fucking her, cock and balls against her sternum. I'm thinking the same thing too... both our cocks are getting scraped like nails on a chalkboard... if the chalkboard is fleshy. One of the strangest orgasms I've had... our cocks took a good week to feel better.

Point is, I know a little how you feel; not attractive... nothing good could come of it - not much did.

 

[Intrigue]

As far out as Inside Man's story is, I give it plausibility.

A little over a month ago I went to a party with my buddy for the opening of a "tobacco accessory" store and ended up meeting three girls. The first was giving me hell which I turned into credibility towards to other two girls and she walked off somewhere and I didn't see her the rest of the night.

For the next hour I was pulling some major kino on the two remaining girls. The first I ended up walking to the back of the back of the buildings near the bathrooms and I urged her against the wall and we made out. Pleasant so far.

I leave the girl I'd made out with to get some beers for my buddy and I and I tell her we're going to an acoustic joint across the street. Girl #2 grabs my hand and follows us - by this time we've had her flash us twice, once of which I capitalized on. This girl is by no means attractive; great body, amazing tits, butter face. I had at least 4 or 5 more cheap beers in me by then... just enough to take me past that point of caring who's sucking my dick... but not enough to fuck just anyone. I start talking to the owner of the acoustic place and she's trying to make passes to kiss me the whole time (she's obviously had too much Jack). I keep scolding her for interrupting me... the conversation with the owner eventually subsides... I get bored and take her back to my car with my buddy right beside me.

We both promote and look out for each other whenever we go out picking up girls but we'd never done anything sexual together. We get back to my car to put away some glass merchandise my buddy had won and she's still pestering us. I tell her to take off her shirt and motion for her to come closer... as I said, I'm way past caring who has their mouth on my cock at this point (even though I'm pretty sure by her teeth [the ones she hadn't rotted out] she was a 3+ pack/day smoker). I'm pretty horny and hard by now, probably from the alcohol and her amazing body, so I gently push her down to her knees and grab her neck and pull her up to my jeans. She knew just what to do, I told her to do the same for my buddy. She starts going down on us both for a couple seconds each. Thirty seconds in and I'm getting sobered up real fast and my buddy is pushing her away and tit fucking her, cock and balls against her sternum. I'm thinking the same thing too... both our cocks are getting scraped like nails on a chalkboard... if the chalkboard is fleshy. One of the strangest orgasms I've had... our cocks took a good week to feel better.

Point is, I know a little how you feel; not attractive... nothing good could come of it - not much did.

Ugh, I just threw up.

 

[RumperRoom]

My hot, perverted little person fantasy just went down in flames. No itty-bitty-bang-bang for me.

One of the funniest fuckin lines I have read in awhile. I laughed my ass off. Probably because I have a "Little Person" fetish as well.

 

[D_Dick_Everhard]

Ugh, I just threw up.

I did too the next day when my buddy and I were talking about it.

 

[B_Nick8]

His story needs more urine and vomit.

Just a skooch. :wink:

 

[Hoss]

Do you say midget or little person?
Anyway, he takes the bus outside my apartment most mornings and i see him on my way to the subway. he's not hot at all but he's really bold about leering at me openly and i give the guy props for being so bold. the notion of having sex with him did intrigue me simply because the thought of it seemed so wrong. and dirty. and therefore kinda hot.
i've been seeing this guy for months but a coupla weeks ago i walk directly up to him and ask him if he wants to come back to my place and suck my cock. he gives me the once over and tells me that he wants more than to just blow me. he wants me to reciprocate. again, i give him props. instead of just saying yes to my bold offer, he ups the ante and secures some play for himself. okay, this might be really dirty i think and i'm kinda turned on as we walk back to my apartment.
when we get there, the guy starts taking off his clothes. unbeknownst to me, he's a hasidic jew and starts taking off the undergarments they wear. he gets naked and it's not a pretty sight. it's like looking a naked version of jerry seinfeld's uncle leo. except in miniature. he's got a tiny dick and suddenly this hot, perverted fantasy of mine has become a unappealing horror show in my apartment.
he lays down on my bed. i try to resolve what's left of the situation. i lie on top of him covering him completely. immediately i get this whiff of him which is musty and old and i immediately think back to the hasidic undergarments lying on the floor in the next room and realize that he has worn them for several days. he wants to kiss me and i oblige but it's bad and now all i can focus on are his bad teeth and the various moles on his body. someone save me, please.
still not content to call it off, i try one more gambit and stick my cock in his mouth. that was the whole point of this, right? to face fuck a midget and blow down his throat. anyway, the guy has a small mouth and tries to start sucking but can't get his mouth around my cock and starts scraping the sides of my cock with his teeth. suddenly, he starts to get bossy. he orders me to start playing with his tits. incredibly, i do instead of stopping this horror show right then and there.
i'm getting a lousy blowjob from a smelly midget who's lying my bed in my apartment and i'm playing with his tits like his bitch. jeez, how did i get here?
this continues for about 30 seconds. i want to end this freakshow now but the words aren't coming out of my mouth. i pull my cock out of his overcrowded mouth and tell him i'm going to get some lube. i figure i'll play with his tits for a coupla minutes and then show him the door. anyway, i get off the bed and go in the next room on my way to get the lube when i look down and see the hasidic underwear and notice a nice large skid mark on his shorts. well, that was all she wrote. i immediately told him that we had to stop. confused, he agreed.
moral of the story (i imagine there are probably several)...sometimes the hot, perverse fantasy you have in your filthy mind, should stay a hot, perverse fantasy. instead of a sad, horrifying reality.

Oh many thanks for the laughs, I was feeling a little despondent today and came to LPSG saw a post from you and then checked the profile for more posts and found this. It had me laughing uncontrollably.
Will bookmark this so I can get a laugh in the future whenever I need it. Thanks so much!:smile: