So who should supply the condom?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Ellerby Eatsprick, Feb 7, 2010.

  1. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    Man or woman? I would hope both parties would assume their own responsibility for their sexual health.

    I'm not currently sexually active right now, as I'm just taking time to sort myself out, but one of the threads on here made me think... if two people are about to have sex, who should supply?

    The issue with this for women is - how do we know what size condoms to keep in our dresser? There are no condoms in my dresser at this moment, but I would think it would be very odd keeping various sized condoms in my dresser. It would be very awkward and a mood spoiler to ask my partner "So what size condom do you use?" I would think it's even worse to get a condom that is clearly too big for someone... If a woman is going to sleep with that guy, obviously she is going to see her partner's cock and "estimate" and see what size their cock is...I would think that most men have a general idea or know which condom is the best fit for them.

    I have found that my previous partners who happened to be large down there, assumed responsibility for their own condoms because the size of their condoms had to be special ordered. However, for average / above average men, typical drug store condoms are available. Would it be a blow to the man's ego or very awkward, if a woman accidentally pulled out a condom that was obviously for a large man, when he clearly is just average or if he saw a stash of different sized condoms in her drawer?

    It sounds logical to be prepared and have condoms on hand but would it give any guy the wrong idea / impression that simply because a woman has various condom sizes that she is sleeping with more than one person?
     
  2. Serial Kisser

    Serial Kisser Well-Known Member

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    I think the guy should be prepared. But if I think I'm going to get any, I always bring one just in case. If it's a size issue and he's too big for it - sorry, no sex. Better luck next time. It really pisses me off when guys think it's ok to fuck without a condom. It's pretty much a deal breaker for me because it makes me think they aren't safe at all. HUGE turn off. I probably wouldn't hit it after that.
     
  3. Fleur

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    I don't think I'd keep various condom sizes on hand...if I was having casual sex (which I know some are into) I could see that being practical and when it comes time just getting you the size you think is best...there's no reason he has to see your "stash"

    I think it's reasonable to have just average run of the mill size condoms and if the guy happens to be big and knows he doesn't like them or fit them he should bring his own since unless you know how big he is beforehand it's impossible to really guess or for a shy girl like me to ask before I go out and buy them.

    In general, I think it's the guy's responsibility though.

    Either way I think talk of being tested and birth control and condoms should always be a conversation before you have sex to be safe and healthy.
     
  4. Fleur

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    I don't think not using a condom automatically means they aren't safe at all. I could be wrong since I haven't been with that many people, but usually when a person doesn't use a condom, there's other birth control being used (like the pill) and STD tests were done and there's no risk there. Though other birth control and an STD test shouldn't be assumed, it's something you have to talk about and decide on like adults with your partner.
     
    #4 Fleur, Feb 7, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2010
  5. MickeyLee

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    both men and women need to have condoms on hand if they're sexually active.

    like for true, the chances of you needing a xxl condom on during a random hook-up are slim. while larger condoms are more comfortable for the larger men there are very few men who will not be able to wear the standard condom *unless he's packing the mythic 14" penis :rolleyes:

    i mean you pour a gallon of water into a standard condom.. should be easy to fit 7 inches of cock in a sex is happening right now emergency.

    so.. everyone getting their hump on should have condoms at the available. like a batman utility belt with a safer sex theme. and lube. the good stuff. no ky please. is terrible stuff.

    eta: the shop recommends that ladies find a condom they like. a brand they know won't cause issues with sensitivity to lube or latex.

    and likes Ms. AGirlonFire said the boys who need the extra extra large will carry the right size with them.
     
    #5 MickeyLee, Feb 8, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2010
  6. Fleur

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    agreed, ky is horrible.
     
  7. Serial Kisser

    Serial Kisser Well-Known Member

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    That's possible. I'm not on birth control and I never have been. So I guess to me, it tends to throw up a red flag. That and I just don't trust people. I want to know that I'm looked out for. Then again, I don't really have sex that often at all. lol.
     
  8. Fleur

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    Yeah that makes sense. It would be hard for me to have sex with someone I did not trust. So, I guess having sex with them implies I do trust they don't have any STDs and have been tested. Condom or no condom I wouldn't have sex with someone unless they'd been tested.

    And, as far as birth control, I've been religiously on the pill since I was 18 when a gf of mine talked me into it even though I was a virgin due to the other benefits.

    That being said...I don't really have sex that often either and when I do it's usually with a condom but lately sometimes not.
     
    #8 Fleur, Feb 8, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2010
  9. Principessa

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    The man should supply them. Are you supposed to guess his size? :confused:

    It's called pay to play. :biggrin:
     
  10. L_Lynn

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    I have a variety because I am looking for one or two that I like. I think women should carry their own and there is nothing wrong with picking up a variety pack. It's kind of fun to say, "I'm doing this for research. Which one you want to try? And please be sure to let me know your opinion." If a guy is THAT HUGE, he will probably carry his own. Still, it's good to know what you prefer as well- lubed, non-lubed, ribbed, studded, latex, etc.
     
  11. bigboobies

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    i have to agree with mickeylee, i think both parties should have them.

    personally i keep a selection of different types of condom in my bedside drawer (although not necessarily different sizes) as i think different types suit different occassions.

    i do think its good to have the contraception conversation before having sex, but i also know that it isn't always feasible to do so. generally, during this conversation i would ask the guy if he likes to use a specific type (especially if i know that he is above average size) and if he says yes, then i ask him to make sure he has some with him.

    i am on birth control, but i don't let this make any difference to whether or not we use condoms. the only time i even consider going without condoms is if i am in a committed relationship with a guy, at which point, we go together and get tested at the g.u.m. clinic.

    i will say that i find guys are terrible at not having any lube to hand! so at home i have plenty within easy reach, and when i'm going to his, i either carry a little bottle or some sachets with the (ever-present) condoms!

    i don't take particularly well to a guy who tries to talk me into going without condoms, and (like serial kisser) it's a bit of a deal breaker! no condom, no sex!

    b.b. xx
     
  12. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    I think both should be responsible. However, I am always prepared with different brands, shapes, sizes, lube packets/pillows, and other safer sex items.

    Whatever size or shape he has, I've got him covered. :wink:
    As far as impressions, who cares I am protecting my health and well-being. My boyfriend has always loved that I bring home new condoms to try, that's how we found our #1 and backup brands.
     
  13. B_Knob Denver

    B_Knob Denver New Member

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    By your photo gallery i would keep a closet full if you were my g/f :rolleyes:

    or we would have 15 kids already :wink:

    I am 25 and 7.5 x 6 , i am happy and confident with my size not bringing it up as bragging as i know there are guys larger and smaller I don't care but as guy i always come prepared and regular sized condoms are just a little to tight and make it difficult to stay hard. I usually wear the Trojan Magnums
     
  14. D_Hellen_Wheels

    D_Hellen_Wheels New Member

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    Indeed, magnum xl's are where it's at.
     
  15. nealin

    nealin New Member

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    If both parties were not prepared, I dont think Id be having sex.
    Never sure if it was a one time thing or if they are just careless
     
  16. badgirl22

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    I see nothing wrong with having multiple types/sizes of condoms. I sell them and get all sorts of samples so for me it's not odd to have an assortment. I think we all have take personal responsibility.
     
  17. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    I need to figure out how to multi-quote people...lol

    It'll be a long LONG time (months) before I start dating or having sex with anyone, but I do generally agree that both parties should be responsible for their own and their partner's sexual health.

    Though when it comes down to starting dating / having sex again I doubt I will stock up on variety sized condoms. I tend to go for condoms that are quite fun - pleasurable, twisted, colored, grooved, ribbed, etc... and like someone said - the "average" condom is designed to cover up to 7-8 inches at most. So if a man know he's a big boy, he'll assume responsibility by bringing his own.

    As much as I don't like condoms because they smell, feel icky and even after cleaning, I can smell latex down there, I prefer to be clean and safe.

    In the past, depending on the man, I have gotten offended when he asked me if I had condoms. It was even worse, when he asked me to buy them.
     
  18. Fleur

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    To multi-quote, use the button to the right of the quote button...and the last quote you want hit the quote button and it'll jump you to your reply box.

    I would be a bit offended if the guy asked me to go out and buy condoms. If it was for a practical reason, like "I'm busy" maybe not...otherwise, it just seems lazy and cheap on his part and uncaring not to take the time for both of our sexual health.

    Given that, it's a mutual responsibility...so I would have one, you just might not like it.

    To me, it's like buying a t-shirt for a guy and not knowing his size...it's just better to have him pick it out/buy it until you know what he likes and then I'd have no problem buying them for us.
     
  19. Wish-4-8

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    Any guy that does not bring his own condoms for casual sex is just plain stupid. He is trusting that someone will not sabatoge the condom? With all the crazies out there, you just never know. Ever hear of people poking holes in the condoms?

    Now, if you are in a relationship, then the cost should be shared. IMHO.
     
  20. ManlyBanisters

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    And how are women supposed to trust that the guy is not a crazy? By that logic the guy would have to wear one supplied by her and one supplied by himself for both parties to be happy. IOW: Don't be so fucking stupid!

    Anyway, condoms should be checked regularly during sex - if there is a small hole that is enough to cause a serious breach in the condom that should become apparent.

    Safe sex should be the responsibility of both (all) parties involved - a woman can't be expected to provide the exact fit and preference for every eventuality. If she has a latex allergy she needs to have non-latex condoms, if she has an allergy to certain spermicides and / or lubes she needs to keep a brand she's OK with, if she has a preference for ribbed or studded she should keep a few of those. Otherwise a box of common or garden condoms in the dresser should do it.

    Likewise - if a guy has specific needs (be they size, allergy or preference) he should have those. It is no more reasonable to expect a guy to have non-latex condoms because he might run into a girl who has an allergy to latex than it is reasonable to expect a woman to have every size and shape just in case.
     
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