"So why are you here then?"

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by snoozan, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. snoozan

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    I was in the chatroom earlier, something I rarely do, and someone I don't know PMed me asking me if I was single or something like that, and I said, "I'm married and I'm not looking." To which he replied, "So why are you on LPSG, then?"

    This is about the umpteenth time I've heard this, either on the boards, in PMs, and now in chat. I've heard it from both men and women. Err, "women." I don't get it. Why is it that because I'm female and talking about sex on a sex related site that I'm here to hook up either online or in person, and if I'm not, I have no right to be here?

    I hate this shit.

    At one point someone got snitty at me by challenging my self-described monogamy because obviously if I was monogamous there was no reason to be here. Of course, this person has no idea what monogamy means in my marriage, i.e. flirting/cybering allowed or not. Even if I don't participate in any of that, if my husband doesn't mind, why can't I be here?

    I'm not here to serve anyone else's needs but my own.

    Whether I'm here to banter, to flirt, to look at photos of cocks, to read about world events, whatever, it's at my discretion. I'm not an open fucking door who takes all comers just because I'm female. Even if I do participate in some online play with other members, why is it that these men don't get that "married/not looking" may just mean that I'm not looking for them.

    The particulars of my marriage, my life, my activity on this board, and my reasons for being active here are my business. I don't care what other people do and I try very hard not to be sanctimonious on the subject of monogamy. It's simply not my place, nor is it anyone else's place to tell me whether I should be here and what I should be doing.
     
  2. SassySpy

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    I COMPLETELY understand, Snoozan. I get the same questions and if Im not a size queen or looking to hook up, what am I doing here? I spend very little time in chat.:rolleyes:
    I have to admit to my own preconceived notions before joining the site... I too thought it was just a place to 'hook up' and I wasnt looking for big cocks or to hook up- Yorkie (bless his injured soul) convinced me there was much more on offer here, and he was right.
    But still, the mentality remains among those who dont care to look beyond the galleries or their own sexual fantasies.

    and... just so you know.... I think you SHOULD be here doing exactly what you're doing!! :wink:
     
  3. nakedwally

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    i totally agree with ya snoozan don't get discouraged though, WALLY L
     
  4. naughty

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    Well,

    Perhaps I dont get many messages of that type because I have no gallery pics to serve as fodder for insane fantasies. I have gotten a few because of my online name. I guess they assumed I would be good to go with and online name like that...:rolleyes:
     
  5. snoozan

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    Agreed, but it's the same logic that if a woman is wearing anything but a housedress to a bar it's open season and men can drop any pretense of politeness to try to get in her pants. Likewise, if she says no, it's okay to call her a stuck-up bitch or frigid or what have you. And that sucks too.
     
  6. SpoiledPrincess

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    It pisses me off too, it always seems to be women who are asked this question, if you're a guy it's perfectly normal and acceptable for you to be on a site like this, if you're a woman there are a few guys who think to question your motives. Whether we're married or single we're adults and no one has a right to question why we're here. Women on a sex site are just like anyone here, we're here to chat, to look at photos, to read and comment on the forums, to generally enjoy our leisure time in a way we chose.
     
  7. No_Strings

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    :mad:


    RE Snoozan:
    I'm heterosexual(which does not mean "str8 & curious":rolleyes:), and have no interest in any cock other than my own, for reasons sexual or otherwise. Yet if I was to try and explain that to family, friends, co-workers, random members of the public, even some LPSG members - how many would believe, let alone understand,my reasons for being on a website with probably the largest collection of above average penii images online?

    I dread to think about how many "u is hawt lol, wanna cam?" PMs the women of this board get, coupled with any abuse you amy get in chat I imagine this place can be a little stressful at times! But just because these people have an account here, doesn't make them LPSG members.

    Ultimately, are the people who are too narrow-minded and/or unintelligent to grasp your reasons for being here, even worthy of the explanation?
    The ones that are worthy of an explanation? Well they(we) already comprehend. :smile:

    (and if they persist, whip out your elephantitis clit and tell them that you need support for that bad-boy :biggrin1:)
     
  8. SassySpy

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    God your hot you gotta big cock wanna cam?
    otherwise dunno why youre here:biggrin1:
     
  9. whatireallywant

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    I don't have any gallery pics, but I will occasionally get messages of this type. When I go into the chat room I basically want to stay with just the common room and not do private chat, with the exception of the private chat with Blocko about my job search - I have no problems with that kind of chat. I am just uncomfortable with the private hook-up type chat at this time. I do enjoy chatting with others in the room, just not the private chat asking me "What do you really want?" (Sometimes I regret my screen name!) and "Have you ever had big before?" (actually the answer to that is "Define big", but I'm not going there in private chat!) The PM's of this type are easier - I just don't reply to them.

    Most of the "worst offenders" of this type are people who do not post to the forums, I have noticed.
     
  10. lacuna22

    lacuna22 New Member

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    i empathize. but i don't think it's out of bounds to ask why someone is here. this site is inherently sexual by nature but in many different reasons for many different people. and i'm often curious what motivates someone to participate here.

    giving you shit about your reasons, or not accepting your answer at face value, is a different story and i can understand why you'd be frustrated with that.

    but seriously, is it really that big of a surprise that there are manchild idiots who outnumber the adults in any given site where men and women interact? chat rooms come with ignore buttons, after all, and not just for women, but also for those of us men with adult thoughts and desires who are equally annoyed by that behavior.
     
  11. dolf250

    dolf250 New Member

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    They are, of course correct. If you are married (and female) you should be spending all of your spare time (after working a 12 hour day) cooking, cleaning, attending to you husbands every whim and when you are done all of that you must concentrate on keeping yourself pure. By being here all women are saying “I am looking; please take me now.”:rolleyes:

    I for one am glad that you are here and contributing. Everybody is here for their own reasons and there is not a prerequisite that you must be looking for a partner with a large member to be here (otherwise I may not be here.:wink: ) I know that most our female members have to fight off unwanted advances and giving you the advice to ignore them won't help at all. Instead I propose that you take the worst offenders and “out” them by posting their drivel for us all to poke fun at.
     
  12. biguy2738

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    I completely agree with No_Strings' sentiments...it really is sad that not only are there still cavemen in this world, but they've been able to infiltrate this site as well. :biggrin1:

    For the record: No_Strings, your posts in the various threads are a reflection of the the exceptional young man (at the risk of sounding old :eek: ) that you are - your parents must be proud! I am grateful and delighted to have you as a fellow member. Thank you.
     
  13. No_Strings

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    Well. Yeh, I guess I am, *ahem*, pretty darn amazing in every conceiveable way. But ya know, it's healthy to be modest an' all. :tongue:

    On a serious note, thank you. That which meant the most to me in your post, I've highlighted in bold font. :smile:
     
  14. dong20

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    Sounds to me like a sound justification for a second (chat only) account. While it won't tackle the root cause it may alleviate the symptoms.
     
  15. DC_DEEP

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    I don't get those sorts of PMs and questions, but if I did, my responses would be something like this:
    Actually, yes, it is out of bounds. The only time it's appropriate to ask someone "so why are you here?" is if they post on thread after thread about what a horrible site it is and how much they hate being here. Yes, we do actually get little trolls like that from time to time.
     
  16. Big Dreamer

    Big Dreamer New Member

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    Snoozy:

    The type of people that question your motives for being here do it for a couple of reasons in my eyes:

    1) They're pouting. You didn't give little Johnny what he wanted (spank material) and he doesn't have the class to just walk away and find a woman he's compatible with (good luck) without firing a few parting shots at you in an attempt to wreck your evening. Kind of like the kid who takes his ball and goes home because you won't play the game his way. You're probably not his first rejection of the evening so you may be on the receiving end of some anger based on accumulated humiliation.

    2) They don't have enough relationship experience to realize that each couple has their own sexual dynamic, rule set (both spoken and implied), and fetishes. For some couples, even a sideways glance at another adult gets met with derision, hurt feelings, and accusations. At the other end of the spectrum are couples that drag other partners into bed with them and get off watching their spouse with another man or woman. There is no right or wrong and we each need to find our own path in terms of setting relationship ground rules. My own 'rule set' is mainly in my head, as it's up to my wife and I to internally define what 'going too far' would be. We don't have weekly meeting where I ask permission to jerk off to porn, nor does she beg me to wear a low-cut tank top. Let's leave that drama for the high school kids, in my opinion.

    I hope you just keep being Snoozan, as she's a good chick, even though she occasionally makes fun of me a little too much.
     
  17. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

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    Save for the minor exception of that spelling problem.
     
  18. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I'm tired of getting asked that as well, snoozan... when people ask me why I'm here, I say, "Because I want to be."
     
  19. Ethyl

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    You have my sympathies, Snooze. Many men here do not understand that the ratio of men to women is something like 1,000 to 1. Therefore, common sense would dictate we are not obligated to respond to every IM/PM that comes our way.

    :eek:

    My forays into chat are sporadic but nearly every time I get at least one or two IM's asking if I wanna chat, see pics, or cam. When I am polite and say "no, thank you", I get the sulky response. When asked why i'm here, I reply with "for my own amusement" or something to that effect. When I visit the chat room, it's because I want to see what the general discussion is about and participate. I don't go in to conduct IM sex. Of course if I know the person, it's a different story.

    Do whatever you want, Snooze. Don't worry about everyone else's feelings. Sooner or later, someone's going to label you a bitch/whore/slut/cunt/whatever for not talking to them. Talk with whomever you want to talk to and don't worry about the rest.

    You don't have to justify your presence here to anyone. No one does, as long as they follow the ToS.

    Edit: I'd like to add that if I receive pics that are clearly photoshopped (that means you, fesoy11), i'm going to laugh at you because you deserve it.
     
  20. D_Loveday Rubberhose

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    The unfortunate apect of this type of communication is that you can't always judge someone's motive. I've been asked why I'm here, but I know the context was that of gaining an understanding of what I want from my membership in this site. In my reality, it's a perfectly reasonable question.

    Of course, it wasn't "well, if you don't want me to suck you off, why are you here?". That kind of thing, repeatedly, would be annoying.
     
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