I was in the chatroom earlier, something I rarely do, and someone I don't know PMed me asking me if I was single or something like that, and I said, "I'm married and I'm not looking." To which he replied, "So why are you on LPSG, then?" This is about the umpteenth time I've heard this, either on the boards, in PMs, and now in chat. I've heard it from both men and women. Err, "women." I don't get it. Why is it that because I'm female and talking about sex on a sex related site that I'm here to hook up either online or in person, and if I'm not, I have no right to be here? I hate this shit. At one point someone got snitty at me by challenging my self-described monogamy because obviously if I was monogamous there was no reason to be here. Of course, this person has no idea what monogamy means in my marriage, i.e. flirting/cybering allowed or not. Even if I don't participate in any of that, if my husband doesn't mind, why can't I be here? I'm not here to serve anyone else's needs but my own. Whether I'm here to banter, to flirt, to look at photos of cocks, to read about world events, whatever, it's at my discretion. I'm not an open fucking door who takes all comers just because I'm female. Even if I do participate in some online play with other members, why is it that these men don't get that "married/not looking" may just mean that I'm not looking for them. The particulars of my marriage, my life, my activity on this board, and my reasons for being active here are my business. I don't care what other people do and I try very hard not to be sanctimonious on the subject of monogamy. It's simply not my place, nor is it anyone else's place to tell me whether I should be here and what I should be doing.