Sober partner = no poppers. Need advice (gay)

Roughfucker

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Hi all, my partner and I have been together for over 10 years. When we first started dating/fucking he would have to get really drunk and/or he’d have to use poppers to take me. I thought it was hot to be the biggest he’s had, and that I am too big unless he’s fucked up. Those nightly drinks turned into daily drinks and we both became alcoholics. We are now 3 years sober, and we’ve had sex, successfully, 2 times since. He doesn’t want to use poppers because it makes him feel high, which is not what we want in our sobriety. I’ve eaten his ass, I’ve fingered him, I’ve gotten dildos in graduating sizes to start him off with an average 6” to a 8” to then warm him up to my 9.25/9.5”. But he’s just having such a hard time taking me, and I hate to see him in actual pain. I need to fuck! We are not open (we tried, didn’t like it) and I fantasize about pounding his ass every day. It’s killing me. Anyone else out there have issues like this? (And yes, we’ve tried letting him ride, we’ve tried numbing cream, we’ve tried various lubes, etc)
Thanks!
 

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Sobriety is a nobel goal but homosexual sex is not really something that can be tolerated without some kind of assistance especially when the top in the relationship is sporting a large penis. Poppers are essential and shouldn't be seen as a challenge to sobriety although caution in their use should be exercised.

If you inhale through your nose, I would suggest to change to whiffing the fumes through the mouth. This really saves the delicate tissues of the nasal passage. Good quality poppers is also essential, you should not suffer bad headaches for choosing to use a cheep product.

If you are blessed with a huge Cock, there isn't much you can do to help your partner have an easy experience with buggery. He must always be cleaned out and ready lubricated for the best results but if there is an expectation that there will not be any pain, it is certainly unreasonable especially if it is a challenge that is experienced every time you both have intercourse.

It is reasonable to do some training with a graduation of dildos but the best results can be achieved with the use of butt plugs; these can be inserted and worn throughout the day without too much difficulty and will always help to stretch your partner out in preparation for intercourse. They have a vast variety of graduated sizes and even ones that pump up and this can ease the pain that your partner has in taking your Cock.

I really don't like numbing agents, they just take away the tactile sensation that intercourse must have to be pleasing. As a big guy, I've had to learn to take it slowly and have pleasure in the process. I love to have full penetration but, it is something I have always had to work for and exercise patience in achieving. The pain that comes from your Cock has to be reduced over time in order to arrive at a place where your partner is completely satisfied; you must be the source of his satisfaction!

Of course, sometimes you find yourself with a pig hole and there are no limits but when your in a committed and living relationship, you must work to achieve the best encounter that is possible. Pain is sometimes stimulating to some bottoms but if you are too big to avoid agony, I think poppers are a reasonable solution to help in the bonding that must happen in a relationship and in time, the pleasure will be amazing!

One last suggestion, relaxation is essential and certain herbs can be helpful. I suggest using Kava-Kava and Valerian root separately or in combination to aid in that process...
 

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Is his issue your girth or your length?

Two totally different problems and two totally different solutions.

My partner of 9 years is roughly your length and girthy, so I have plenty of experience. I have never used any creams or poppers.
 

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Sobriety is a nobel goal but homosexual sex is not really something that can be tolerated without some kind of assistance especially when the top in the relationship is sporting a large penis. Poppers are essential and shouldn't be seen as a challenge to sobriety although caution in their use should be exercised.

If you inhale through your nose, I would suggest to change to whiffing the fumes through the mouth. This really saves the delicate tissues of the nasal passage. Good quality poppers is also essential, you should not suffer bad headaches for choosing to use a cheep product.

If you are blessed with a huge Cock, there isn't much you can do to help your partner have an easy experience with buggery. He must always be cleaned out and ready lubricated for the best results but if there is an expectation that there will not be any pain, it is certainly unreasonable especially if it is a challenge that is experienced every time you both have intercourse.

It is reasonable to do some training with a graduation of dildos but the best results can be achieved with the use of butt plugs; these can be inserted and worn throughout the day without too much difficulty and will always help to stretch your partner out in preparation for intercourse. They have a vast variety of graduated sizes and even ones that pump up and this can ease the pain that your partner has in taking your Cock.

I really don't like numbing agents, they just take away the tactile sensation that intercourse must have to be pleasing. As a big guy, I've had to learn to take it slowly and have pleasure in the process. I love to have full penetration but, it is something I have always had to work for and exercise patience in achieving. The pain that comes from your Cock has to be reduced over time in order to arrive at a place where your partner is completely satisfied; you must be the source of his satisfaction!

Of course, sometimes you find yourself with a pig hole and there are no limits but when your in a committed and living relationship, you must work to achieve the best encounter that is possible. Pain is sometimes stimulating to some bottoms but if you are too big to avoid agony, I think poppers are a reasonable solution to help in the bonding that must happen in a relationship and in time, the pleasure will be amazing!

One last suggestion, relaxation is essential and certain herbs can be helpful. I suggest using Kava-Kava and Valerian root separately or in combination to aid in that process...
The OP and his partner are alcoholics so any substances that give them a buzz are avoided as they can be triggers to slide back into alcoholism.
 

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FYI

Internal pain when your cock hits the back of his rectum is length.

Girth is sharp pain in the anal ring muscles and difficulty with insertion.

Burning pain during sex is friction or allergy.
 

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FYI

Internal pain when your cock hits the back of his rectum is length.

Girth is sharp pain in the anal ring muscles and difficulty with insertion.

Burning pain during sex is friction or allergy.
Hey there - a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. Not friction or allergy - he’s just having a harder time opening up. Poppers seemed to just allow him to let me slide right in and go deep/rough. It now takes some time to get in, and especially takes time to go balls deep. If I put too much in at once, he jumps away. Thought it might be hot to pin him down and be verbally aggressive with him at the same time, and it wasn’t as hot as we had hoped. It was a lot of screaming into the bed/pillow, and him trying to get away. I miss just being able to slide in and be able to pull all the way out and push all the way back in and make his eyes roll.
 

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The OP and his partner are alcoholics so any substances that give them a buzz are avoided as they can be triggers to slide back into alcoholism.
It may not be the best idea for true alcoholics to be engaging in sex because this is a trigger in itself and certainly a cause of addictive behavior for the brain chemicals released in intercourse. Addictive personalities tend to find behaviors that will provide a fix so you just have to make some tough decisions about how you want to live your life and the lifestyle you choose as a result of sexual desire.
 

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Hey there - a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. Not friction or allergy - he’s just having a harder time opening up. Poppers seemed to just allow him to let me slide right in and go deep/rough. It now takes some time to get in, and especially takes time to go balls deep. If I put too much in at once, he jumps away. Thought it might be hot to pin him down and be verbally aggressive with him at the same time, and it wasn’t as hot as we had hoped. It was a lot of screaming into the bed/pillow, and him trying to get away. I miss just being able to slide in and be able to pull all the way out and push all the way back in and make his eyes roll.
There are toys such as the one from fort troff that can help with the initial opening up.

FT Raw Pup X

If you guys haven't had much anal for a while, his hole has probably reverted to virgin mode. Meaning you need to go slow building him up to taking all of you. Keep the pressure off by not introducing your cock. You got to play the long game. If you've waited a couple of years, a couple of months will be worth it.

You need to get his brain to associate anal with pleasure. Something that may be fun way to do the training is for you to use your fingers to rub his prostate and kiss him as he masturbates.

Then use something like a lelo vibrator that has the vibe in the tip of the device and get him to cum doing that.

Something he can do on his own is every second day or so, while in the shower practice taking a dildo all the way in. Practice clenching his hole and inserting one inch at a time.

images.jpeg-13.jpg

Doc Johnson make a very flexible double dildo that will help him stretch his "second hole". This is good because longer dildoes tend to get too girthy for the length required. These double dildoes don't have this problem.

The rectum is only 5 inches deep, so to get the rest of you in requires him to be able to get through the "second hole" which may need some stretching as well.

The easiest way to to get into the second hole are positions where he his his knees bent to his chest and aiming the tip at his left shoulder. Never force anything. Slow and gentle.

When you get to the stage of fucking him, he should be on top and he should try to guide it in slowly.

A trick for relaxing is for him to clench for 5 seconds and slide an inch or so in and hold that position, then repeat until it is all in. Then start with short thrusts and gradually increase to full thrusts.

I can expand on some of these suggestions but not sure what you have tried yet.
 

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The benefit of a big dick is that if you gradually increase the amount of cock you use, you can have longer sessions than a guy with a smaller penis because what often happens is that a bottom will adapt to the smaller size and lose the pleasure sensation of stretching very quickly.

The downside of a big penis is that you can't pound away right at the start. In porn they don't show the warm up. So just remember that because maybe your expectations of how fast things should progress to hard fucking is too quick.
 
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Hi all, my partner and I have been together for over 10 years. When we first started dating/fucking he would have to get really drunk and/or he’d have to use poppers to take me. I thought it was hot to be the biggest he’s had, and that I am too big unless he’s fucked up. Those nightly drinks turned into daily drinks and we both became alcoholics. We are now 3 years sober, and we’ve had sex, successfully, 2 times since. He doesn’t want to use poppers because it makes him feel high, which is not what we want in our sobriety. I’ve eaten his ass, I’ve fingered him, I’ve gotten dildos in graduating sizes to start him off with an average 6” to a 8” to then warm him up to my 9.25/9.5”. But he’s just having such a hard time taking me, and I hate to see him in actual pain. I need to fuck! We are not open (we tried, didn’t like it) and I fantasize about pounding his ass every day. It’s killing me. Anyone else out there have issues like this? (And yes, we’ve tried letting him ride, we’ve tried numbing cream, we’ve tried various lubes, etc)
Thanks!
Wow. Glad I found this one!

like I always say, I tell it like it is, no if ands or buts… but I tell you how it is with LOVE and EMPATHY.

Okay, let’s address the big fuckin’ elephant in the room, and no, I’m not talking about your gigantic, incredible, wish I had it, cock (Golly, btw! ❤️)

Alcoholism;
Sexual Frustration;
One-on-one sexual wellness/therapy;
Habit forming / ritualistic approaches to sex.

The fact that you both became alcoholics and use poppers so he could take you is, as you know now, a regrettable and unrealistic and unhealthy approach to your relationship. It had begun an inability to break a cycle that was also harmful To you both, mentally and physically. If you approach the idea of sex between the two of you in a “couple therapy” way initially, you’ll have no problem in the future with him “taking you”.

1) There may be something else going on mentally—something very deep and very personal. Make sure this isn’t the real issue. If it is, work on that together with a professional therapist who specializes in trauma and PTSD. It’s amazing how many men I have helped in the past who thought they had an issue with each other, when in fact, it was something totally unrelated, yet paralyzing to one or both of them because of a past event, usually when they were young. I’m just throwing this out there as an option and a question for you both to ask yourselves privately, with understand, and without judgement. Okay, done with that.

2) Forget about the poppers, the alcohol, etc. Any type of chemical or unhealthy activity can become an addition. For example, the sex you are not having and the reasons why—the frustration—is or already is a form of addiction.

TRY this:

I’m not talking about “planned sex” constantly, but with this workshop approach I want to take initially, yes, I am.

1) Both of you seem to love each other and are in it for the long haul. AMAZING!
2) Get together in your home where you’re both very comfortable. No stimulants.
3) Talk. Sounds simple, but talk… NOT about the issue of him not taking you, or your frustration (and maybe his) about him not being able to take you. Talk about how much he means to you, about when you first met, about how much love you have for him, about how you know he loves you, stands by you always, and you will always do the same for him. Be optimistic, truthful, respectful, loving and kind with your approach and avoid the topic of your size and his tiny asshole not taking your cock.

We‘re trying to relax here, get back to the basics of you and him, why you care about each other, why you love each other, how fortunate you are. In the current situation, it sounds like sex has become very unrelaxed, like walking on eggshells, a lot of “what if’s”, a lot of focusing on a predetermined destination that ends in failure, and not the positive things that could be achieved. I’m not saying you should be sitting around talking and branding each others hair, NO. I’m saying get comfortable with yourselves, your relationship, and what you mean to each other.

By this time, the clothes have come of and you are kissing slow, passionate and rhythmically. Lots of breathy “man, I love you..”, lots of tongue, lots of licking and two nice hard cocks. Excellent. It’s now time for you to let your partner know something: That have his back.

For example, say into his ear between kisses, “I love you so much. I got you, always. Trust me, I got you. I’d never let anything bad ever happen to you.” For me, those words are an instant panty dropper’s. Mine have hit the floor many times when I know my man is genuine, has my back, and I have his trust and he has mine. If that feeling between two people doesn’t cream your jeans, I don’t know what else will.

When comfortable and you both are consensually ready to get it on, get out the lube. If you’re into rimming, get down there and work that tongue. It’s a good place to start! A Relaxing and breathtaking journey into the mind through your butt is amazing, relaxing and oh so good. If you feel he may be thinking of the past when it won’t fit or is painful, remind him with your words: “I’m right here, baby… right now, and I’m loving this…man you’re so fuckin’ sexy.” *ok, I’m precumming…sorry!*

PLAY AROUND FOR A WHILE. YOU HAVE NO PLACE TO BE BUT RIGHT THERE. BE IN THE MOMENT. BUILD UP A LOT OF HEALTHY FRENZY THAT NEEDS TO BE RELEASED. RELEASED THROUGH TOUCH, ORAL, VERBAL, ETC., WAYS.

When he’s he’s relaxed, not afraid or concerned about any paint, then treat him like a Virgin. Go VERY slow with him, and get that lube in there. You should both look like glazed donuts by now. Excellent. When you get inside of him, again…sloooooooooow. At this point, you’re more than likely wanting to fuck him so hard his eyes pop out and roll around the floor, but sloooooooow is the key. His colon has to get used to being filled up with you, and he will appreciate the attention to detail and patience you have. After a few minutes, see where things are with him. At that point, continue to have a good time communicating what feels good and what doesn’t to both of you. Be verbal and clear. Subsequent sex will be more spontaneous, generous, loving and let’s face, hot as fuck!

I hope this works out!

kisses on both of your pink parts,
JEFF

PS - Congrats to both of you with the sobriety! Keep it up!
 
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It may not be the best idea for true alcoholics to be engaging in sex because this is a trigger in itself and certainly a cause of addictive behavior for the brain chemicals released in intercourse. Addictive personalities tend to find behaviors that will provide a fix so you just have to make some tough decisions about how you want to live your life and the lifestyle you choose as a result of sexual desire.
Addicts can absolutely have sex. Becoming abstinent because we have an addiction to alcohol is unrelated. You’re trying to say that we would become addicted to anything/everything. So, sugar, exercise, attention, etc would also be things that we just shouldn’t do/consume/use. Sorry, but no thank you.
 

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Sobriety is a nobel goal but homosexual sex is not really something that can be tolerated without some kind of assistance especially when the top in the relationship is sporting a large penis. Poppers are essential and shouldn't be seen as a challenge to sobriety although caution in their use should be exercised.

If you inhale through your nose, I would suggest to change to whiffing the fumes through the mouth. This really saves the delicate tissues of the nasal passage. Good quality poppers is also essential, you should not suffer bad headaches for choosing to use a cheep product.

If you are blessed with a huge Cock, there isn't much you can do to help your partner have an easy experience with buggery. He must always be cleaned out and ready lubricated for the best results but if there is an expectation that there will not be any pain, it is certainly unreasonable especially if it is a challenge that is experienced every time you both have intercourse.

It is reasonable to do some training with a graduation of dildos but the best results can be achieved with the use of butt plugs; these can be inserted and worn throughout the day without too much difficulty and will always help to stretch your partner out in preparation for intercourse. They have a vast variety of graduated sizes and even ones that pump up and this can ease the pain that your partner has in taking your Cock.

I really don't like numbing agents, they just take away the tactile sensation that intercourse must have to be pleasing. As a big guy, I've had to learn to take it slowly and have pleasure in the process. I love to have full penetration but, it is something I have always had to work for and exercise patience in achieving. The pain that comes from your Cock has to be reduced over time in order to arrive at a place where your partner is completely satisfied; you must be the source of his satisfaction!

Of course, sometimes you find yourself with a pig hole and there are no limits but when your in a committed and living relationship, you must work to achieve the best encounter that is possible. Pain is sometimes stimulating to some bottoms but if you are too big to avoid agony, I think poppers are a reasonable solution to help in the bonding that must happen in a relationship and in time, the pleasure will be amazing!

One last suggestion, relaxation is essential and certain herbs can be helpful. I suggest using Kava-Kava and Valerian root separately or in combination to aid in that process...
Sober here too. If someone says you do need poppers or something else to have sex without pain they do not know what they are saying.
First Protect your sobriety at all cost! Read and educate yourselves about what you need. I have learned to take big cocks and small fists in sobriety and it can be done. Easy does it. You two will be fine.
 

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Sober here too. If someone says you do need poppers or something else to have sex without pain they do not know what they are saying.
First Protect your sobriety at all cost! Read and educate yourselves about what you need. I have learned to take big cocks and small fists in sobriety and it can be done. Easy does it. You two will be fine.
Loving your response!

you deserve a pink parts kiss ❤️
JEFF