Hi all, my partner and I have been together for over 10 years. When we first started dating/fucking he would have to get really drunk and/or he’d have to use poppers to take me. I thought it was hot to be the biggest he’s had, and that I am too big unless he’s fucked up. Those nightly drinks turned into daily drinks and we both became alcoholics. We are now 3 years sober, and we’ve had sex, successfully, 2 times since. He doesn’t want to use poppers because it makes him feel high, which is not what we want in our sobriety. I’ve eaten his ass, I’ve fingered him, I’ve gotten dildos in graduating sizes to start him off with an average 6” to a 8” to then warm him up to my 9.25/9.5”. But he’s just having such a hard time taking me, and I hate to see him in actual pain. I need to fuck! We are not open (we tried, didn’t like it) and I fantasize about pounding his ass every day. It’s killing me. Anyone else out there have issues like this? (And yes, we’ve tried letting him ride, we’ve tried numbing cream, we’ve tried various lubes, etc)
Thanks!
Wow. Glad I found this one!
like I always say, I tell it like it is, no if ands or buts… but I tell you how it is with LOVE and EMPATHY.
Okay, let’s address the big fuckin’ elephant in the room, and no, I’m not talking about your gigantic, incredible, wish I had it, cock (Golly, btw!

)
Alcoholism;
Sexual Frustration;
One-on-one sexual wellness/therapy;
Habit forming / ritualistic approaches to sex.
The fact that you both became alcoholics and use poppers so he could take you is, as you know now, a regrettable and unrealistic and unhealthy approach to your relationship. It had begun an inability to break a cycle that was also harmful To you both, mentally and physically. If you approach the idea of sex between the two of you in a “couple therapy” way initially, you’ll have no problem in the future with him “taking you”.
1) There may be something else going on mentally—something very deep and very personal. Make sure this isn’t the real issue. If it is, work on that together with a professional therapist who specializes in trauma and PTSD. It’s amazing how many men I have helped in the past who thought they had an issue with each other, when in fact, it was something totally unrelated, yet paralyzing to one or both of them because of a past event, usually when they were young. I’m just throwing this out there as an option and a question for you both to ask yourselves privately, with understand, and without judgement. Okay, done with that.
2) Forget about the poppers, the alcohol, etc. Any type of chemical or unhealthy activity can become an addition. For example, the sex you are not having and the reasons why—the frustration—is or already is a form of addiction.
TRY this:
I’m not talking about “planned sex” constantly, but with this workshop approach I want to take initially, yes, I am.
1) Both of you seem to love each other and are in it for the long haul. AMAZING!
2) Get together in your home where you’re both very comfortable. No stimulants.
3) Talk. Sounds simple, but talk… NOT about the issue of him not taking you, or your frustration (and maybe his) about him not being able to take you. Talk about how much he means to you, about when you first met, about how much love you have for him, about how you know he loves you, stands by you always, and you will always do the same for him. Be optimistic, truthful, respectful, loving and kind with your approach and avoid the topic of your size and his tiny asshole not taking your cock.
We‘re trying to relax here, get back to the basics of you and him, why you care about each other, why you love each other, how fortunate you are. In the current situation, it sounds like sex has become very unrelaxed, like walking on eggshells, a lot of “what if’s”, a lot of focusing on a predetermined destination that ends in failure, and not the positive things that could be achieved. I’m not saying you should be sitting around talking and branding each others hair, NO. I’m saying get comfortable with yourselves, your relationship, and what you mean to each other.
By this time, the clothes have come of and you are kissing slow, passionate and rhythmically. Lots of breathy “man, I love you..”, lots of tongue, lots of licking and two nice hard cocks. Excellent. It’s now time for you to let your partner know something: That have his back.
For example, say into his ear between kisses, “I love you so much. I got you, always. Trust me, I got you. I’d never let anything bad ever happen to you.” For me, those words are an instant panty dropper’s. Mine have hit the floor many times when I know my man is genuine, has my back, and I have his trust and he has mine. If that feeling between two people doesn’t cream your jeans, I don’t know what else will.
When comfortable and you both are consensually ready to get it on, get out the lube. If you’re into rimming, get down there and work that tongue. It’s a good place to start! A Relaxing and breathtaking journey into the mind through your butt is amazing, relaxing and oh so good. If you feel he may be thinking of the past when it won’t fit or is painful, remind him with your words: “I’m right here, baby… right now, and I’m loving this…man you’re so fuckin’ sexy.” *ok, I’m precumming…sorry!*
PLAY AROUND FOR A WHILE. YOU HAVE NO PLACE TO BE BUT RIGHT THERE. BE IN THE MOMENT. BUILD UP A LOT OF HEALTHY FRENZY THAT NEEDS TO BE RELEASED. RELEASED THROUGH TOUCH, ORAL, VERBAL, ETC., WAYS.
When he’s he’s relaxed, not afraid or concerned about any paint, then treat him like a Virgin. Go VERY slow with him, and get that lube in there. You should both look like glazed donuts by now. Excellent. When you get inside of him, again…sloooooooooow. At this point, you’re more than likely wanting to fuck him so hard his eyes pop out and roll around the floor, but sloooooooow is the key. His colon has to get used to being filled up with you, and he will appreciate the attention to detail and patience you have. After a few minutes, see where things are with him. At that point, continue to have a good time communicating what feels good and what doesn’t to both of you. Be verbal and clear. Subsequent sex will be more spontaneous, generous, loving and let’s face, hot as fuck!
I hope this works out!
kisses on both of your pink parts,
JEFF
PS - Congrats to both of you with the sobriety! Keep it up!