Some advice for a young LPSG member please.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by DaveyR, Dec 30, 2009.

  1. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    A member who wants to remain anonymous asked about setting up another account so he could ask a question anonymously. As you know duplicate account are a big no no so I offered to post this on his behalf.

     
  2. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    Sure Davey, "a friend" :tongue: :wink:

    It really depends on how you feel - would you regret "just doing it" so you can drop the label of being a virgin? That's not for us to say, only you know how you feel about this. Alternatively you could just not make any mention of your virginity to these guys you wish to date, and see what happens.

    Neither option is wrong, but think about how you want to remember your first time.
     
  3. ManlyBanisters

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    Indeed - why do people even know you are a virgin? And if you have sex are you then going to ride about town on a bike with a megaphone announcing the glad tidings?

    If people are turning you down for being a virgin it is one of two things: either they are idiots who judge people by one trait and therefore not the kind of person you want to date OR they are using that as an excuse because they don't want to date you for other reasons. Personally I have never heard of a person saying 'I don't want to date you, you're virgin' - I think that's crazy. WTF difference does it make?

    Now - if you want to experience sex for it's own sake and there is a close friend to whom you are attracted and who you trust then I think it could be a good move to see about getting together. On the other hand if your motivation is just to tell other people you have had sex in order to get them to like you better or see you as sexual then the chances of it backfiring on you and having the opposite effect are very high indeed.

    Finally, there is not a damn thing wrong with being a virgin. If people are rejecting you for that one thing then, as I said, they are not very nice people. If what you want is your first time to be with someone who is important to you and to whom you are equally important then hold out. You will get that.
     
  4. nudeyorker

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    I can't disagree with anything that FB and MB said. Drop the virgin label and relax, maybe try playing a bit "hard to get". If it continues to be a problem come to NYC and I'll take care of the issue for you.
     
  5. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    You're such a giving soul :biggrin1:
     
  6. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    If he doesn't take up that offer I can see a queue forming. :tongue:
     
  7. Sergeant_Torpedo

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    Without being caustic I suspect this anonymous question is not about virginity at all, but rather about attention seeking.
     
  8. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Who can tell. He first asked me a few weeks back then said he would take time to think about it. I prefer to give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides it's no skin off my nose to pass on his post.
     
  9. Industrialsize

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    I think you meant that nudie was a "taking" soul.....:cool:
     
  10. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    The kid isn't going to feel any different after he does the deed (except perhaps a little tingly and that doesn't last long). Perhaps he'll feel more "grown up", but to what end? I don't want to wax all romantic or anything, but wouldn't it be nice to think that the first time he had anal sex it was with someone he really cared for and was not done as a mechanical act in order to "lose" something for no real gain?

    I think he's buying into a mythology of virginity that has less basis in reality than in his own self-perception. Nudey and others are right; relax. All things come in their own, right time.
     
  11. Countryguy63

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    Virginity in young adults is VERY Sexy!!
    (Ok, for all of the people just looking to scream and holler, NO, I don't mean that as I'm always looking for virgins!!:mad:)

    I just think that if I was a young adult, and met someone that I developed a loving relationship with, and found out that they were a virgin, I would be very honored. Imagine being in love, and be able to share that very special moment with someone.

    I know, I'm a hopeless romantic :redface:

    To the young man that is stressed because he is still a virgin. Dude, you have something very special. Don't treat it as a plague, but rather a true treasure that someday you will be able to share with someone that you really care about.

    I will tell you the same thing I have told my daughters (Oh GOD, I hate thinking about that!!, but in todays society, it's younger and younger:frown1:)

    "Once you give it away, you can NEVER get it back again!"
     
  12. kielbasacock

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    Save it for someone special. Don't just loose it because of peer pressure, or for whatever the reason. I waited til after I was over 20 to loose mine. That night was special, and I will always be greatful to the woman I lost it to. (handcuffs, tatoos and all!!) I was in the military and she was a hottie!!:smile:

    And remember to use protection - STD's are no fun!!
     
  13. hung

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    No rush as other have also advised.

    It can be a special event and always be safe.

    You have a whole life ahead of you!!!!
     
  14. Incocknito

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    FYI there are other forums with an 'Anonymous' function.

    What it involves is you tick a box before you post and your post is created under the username of Anonymous. Anonymous is a 'generic' account and totally separate from other users so no one (except Mods) would know who posted.

    Seems easy enough to implement although it is open to abuse. Maybe you could suggest it in the site suggestions forum thingy.
     
  15. AcidA

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    I think it's all about the reasoning behind it.

    If you want to do it because you think you'll gain "something" from it go ahead.
    But if it's just because you think everybody else have and I *should* too, then dont.
     
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