some advice..

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by pinupbeauty, Feb 11, 2006.

  1. pinupbeauty

    pinupbeauty New Member

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    Okay...what do you do when someone you are with sexually who was brought up very catholic...and you get a sense from them that they would really like to get into some sexually situations that could be a considered "nasty" or "dirty"....like rough sex...or light bondage...How do you make them more comfortable talking about they would like.....I don't want to make him nervous...

    pinup
     
  2. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    Avoid sweeping generalizations. Every person is different, regardless of religion. It's my personal experience that some Catholics have a problem with guilt after the fact. Tune into his sensuality and read his energy and body cues. The worst thing you can ask someone in bed is "what do you like?"
     
  3. LongNights

    LongNights Member

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    Truer words have never been spoken. Patient and respect for the other person will go a long way. In this case, I would say time is the great equalizer. The longer you are with someone --> the better you know them --> the better read you can get on their "comfort" level.

    Plus, the fact that this is already a sexual relationship makes this easier because you have overcome the first hurdle of no sex before marriage (i.e. strict Catholics). I am sure other barriers can be 'broken' with time. Drop slight hints and keep it very honesty and you may hain a lot more headway with this individual.

    LongNights
     
  4. Trip

    Trip New Member

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    Pin up..I have run into this situation a few times, and found that I really had to know the woman very intimately before I could come close to broaching the subject. I then knew my likely chances of success, as if you go for it with someone you think will be open, then very cool and now you are that much more intimate and strong relationship.

    But if you try to get someone to 'open' up a bit who you suspect will not look favorably on it, then be wary. So slowly, little steps to build up that confidence and comfort level, as well as testing the waters as you go.

    I have been lucky and met some very hot and sexual catholic women who were very 'proper' in their religion, but were extremely sexual and adventurous...It is what is underneath that veneer that counts! Hmm

    Hope this helps!
     
  5. GazIoM

    GazIoM New Member

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    I'm not too sure Sorcerer - I wouldn't mind a girl asking me what I like. To avoid akward moments perhaps its when the question is asked that makes the difference(?). Suggestion:- When the guys sexually excited and nearing the point of no return maybe thats the time to ask question. Avoids any awkwardness as his only concern will be not to cum too soon(?!)
     
  6. PussyWellington

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    I'm with you. I would let things develop naturally. I find the "what do you like?" question a bit clinical. I see it as part of getting to know the person. Trying things and then talking about it. Discover together!
     
  7. PILEDRIVER

    PILEDRIVER New Member

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    when someone is religious its, sex is a very hard thing to talk about. i'm religious, i'm actually Hindu. for me sex is a part of life, about sharing. as mentioned before by other here, guilt can enter your mind, but its waht you do about it. i think you should read the signs, may be pop a few light questions every now and then.

    or if you're confident and very confrontational then may be ask him straight up, be honest but like you said you dont want to hurt him. it may be a good idea to wait a little while. my gf is hindu so she understands my position and if she does not then she does ask me confidently and i respond with true colours. your position is very difficult but i think you need to get to know about him better in other areas more before you explore this.
     
  8. juice

    juice New Member

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    Well coming from an Italian-Catholic who was a virgin until I met my girlfriend, just go slow.

    It took me long enough to talk to my girl and ask her out, let alone have sex with her. We had been talking about it and all she said was "Whenever you're ready, I'll be here."

    We started out slow, just regular missonary sex and a couple of times some other positions, but on the most part it was "vanilla" sex.

    Finally one night, after a game, I went over to her place and she showed me what she wanted. We had some rough sex (we actually broke her desk) and then she pushed me on the bed and she tied me to the bedposts.

    Well I know what she likes and wants now! :biggrin1:
     
  9. GoneA

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    quite simply, i think you have to put it forth to him on no uncertain terms. when trying to speak to your partner about advancing your sex-life, it's easy to come off as harsh, demanding, and altogether insensitive; however, one way to avoid these tones is to leave a wide margin for compromise. more than likely, he will not acquiesce to all your requests, but, he may be willing to yield if you are willing to accept his boundaries and take it a little at a time.
     
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