some comments just keep coming

[Kimahri]

Ok then, I'm going back to do some work....not really.

 

[dimwit]

Originally posted by Slingshot@Apr 16 2005, 06:04 AM
Ok, I haven’t posted here for a long time, the reason being I’ve had nothing much to add to the discussion, so please forgive the fact that this post is purely for me to get stuff off my chest. After all, that’s what a large penis support group is for: people on this forum can listen to the story and hopefully sympathise, while anyone else would just hear “I have a large dick.”

Anyway, the point is, I was having lunch with my extended family the other day, 7 or 8 adults including some of my mother’s cousins, women who are at least 15 years older than me. These women have known me since I was born, and they seem to think that this fact gives them license to make some very personal observations about my penis, which they whisper to each other, and then giggle, every now and again. They aren’t alone, the fact that I’ve got a bigger dick than anyone else in the family is something of a running joke, and has been brought up at such inappropriate times as Christmas gatherings and even after a funeral.

On this occasion, while I was struggling to subdue a couple of their unruly offspring at an outdoor restaurant, it was suggested to me that since the waitress was cute, and I had broken up with my girlfriend some weeks ago, I should try to get her number. “Maybe you could whip out your stethoscope,” one suggested (the idea being that this woman would be attracted to me because I’m a doctor). You can imagine what was suggested that I whip out next, to further impress this passing stranger. That’s right, my cock. And there followed much giggling.

Damn harridans.

I’ve just about lost my ability to take this stuff good-naturedly. It’s just become tedious through repetition. Goodness knows, I don’t mind half as much when I get teased about it by friends.

Oh well. Not looking for solutions or advice, nor do I hate my dick; I love having a large penis, I just needed to rant, and needed it to be to people who may have experienced similar nuisance situations.

[post=301030]Quoted post[/post]​

I Feel for you man. My dad and older brother both talk about my penis all the time. I am about twice the size of both of them. My dad is proud I think and my brother is the jealous type. I guess it makes them feel better if they tell every one they see how big it is. Just dont let it bother you. You know everyone wants to be you. Some people have actually asked to see it after they herd about it. I guess to see it is real. I am willing to show anybody any time.

 

[OldLady]

Originally posted by jonb@Apr 17 2005, 09:02 PM
Well, also, people don't expect women to do it, and they expect men to want it. So they confuse sexual attraction to a younger male with maternal attachment.

Problems associated with sexual abuse of a boy by a woman tend to be far less than when men sexually abuse children of either sex (I don't have any consistent stats on lesbian abuses, but it's so rare no one can get a good sample size.), but the biggie's gender identity disorder, since females are traditionally expected to be passive.

[post=301567]Quoted post[/post]​

JonB, I'm starting to think I'm singling you a lot? I actually enjoy what you say and you bring tremendously important perspective to many things I've been reading on this forum. I'm learning a lot from others as well, but for whatever reason, you inspire me to speak (and I hope that's a good thing).

Forgive me here for a bit as I differ right now. This isn't personal either, but your comment gives me the chance to do some podium pounding, figuratively speaking.

It is only an assumption that victims of female-perpetrated sexual abuse suffer less than from male-perpetrated abuse. It is a very complicated topic and I don't have the links available, but there has been recent (finally&#33 studies that are beginning to show that boys who were sexually abused, by males or females, can end up with enduring problems just like girls. It's understandable, but a lot of the problems with dealing adequately with childhood sexual abuse are the nearly overwhelming myths about victims and perpetrators, not limited to gender assumptions.

Also, same-sex sexual abuse is not "gay" abuse nor "lesbian" abuse, in the same sense that a male pedophile who molests girls (or a female pedophile who molests boys) is a "heterosexual" abuse. Sexual abuse is not about orientation, nor gender.

Sorry for the rant, but it is a vitally important issue to me.

Gender Identity Disorder: that's a different issue and much more complex, but I don't think GID has anything to do with sexual abuse. Women can be, and are, aggressive. Many people do not believe women are necessarily passive by definition or design, only by convenience. Men aren't always aggressive either, men can also be passive. Saying this also presumes - if I can extrapolate the comment this far - that only men are inherently capable to be sexual abusers because they are more "aggressive." Assuming somebody may have a personality or mood disorder, doesn't mean they'll become a sexual predator. There are a lot of tremendously confusing and overlapping issues here and a lot of them are based on how we perceive or define gender identity, orientation, sexuality issues, and power/control dynamics, to name just a couple here.

 

[OldLady]

Originally posted by Slingshot@Apr 16 2005, 07:04 AM
I’ve just about lost my ability to take this stuff good-naturedly. It’s just become tedious through repetition. Goodness knows, I don’t mind half as much when I get teased about it by friends.

Oh well. Not looking for solutions or advice, nor do I hate my dick; I love having a large penis, I just needed to rant, and needed it to be to people who may have experienced similar nuisance situations.

[post=301030]Quoted post[/post]​

Let me mention before you pay attention to any of the following, that I really and truly suck big time at family dynamics, convoluted passive-aggressive family culture, and long-simmering animosity, control, and jockeying for respect by humilating someone else. Please keep this in mind as I give you my thoughts on this.

Others have a much better sense of wit and biting humor in finding a verbal parry for the next time this happens. I'm also trying to define in my own mind why all this bothers me. For the moment, the only thing I can really think of is the recent (meaning slowly over a few decades) trend to openly and publicly demean and humiliate men, male identity, and their sexuality. Men's sexuality (individuals' sexuality, or the concept of masculinity as a whole) has become easy fodder for cruel and abusive treatment. This becomes more apparent if genders and related were switched: instead of female older relatives against a younger adult male relative, make it older male relatives against a younger female relative.

If you thought (or said to them), "if you heard about a group of older uncles, brother-in-laws, older male cousins, perhaps even (step)fathers, fathers-in-laws, grandfathers, etc., etc., that were mocking and singling out a younger female relative because of her enormous breasts, would people let it go so readily as just good-natured joking?" They may consider you 'suddenly' oversensitive, humorless, or whatever. They may wonder, "what the heck has gotten into him? Sheesh." Don't know if they might perceive you this way if you were to rebutt their 'affectionate' jokes and suggestions at your expense. I think the point is you feel disrespected and objectified because of your body and your junior status as a younger relation that they've all seen in diapers, but you are entitled to be treated as a human being entitled to self-respect and dignity.

The others can - and are - give you some really good witticisms in response. Now, I'm just being all riled up and prissy, but wanted to give you some comments.

Good luck with figuring out something with them.