Some New Scientific Theories

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jakeatolla, Dec 25, 2006.

  1. jakeatolla

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    Scientific Philosophies

    When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

    Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

    The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

    The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it's easier to go faster when you're always going downhill.

    The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."
     
  2. Gillette

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    That last one should be posted to the eggcorns thread. Verra interesting indeed.
     
  3. jeff black

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    Potentially, my only concern is the buttered toast. What if I use margarine?
     
  4. jakeatolla

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    Well, if you believe the propaganda, it will be a healthier trip.:biggrin1:
     
  5. jeff black

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    Bah, Propoganda.:rolleyes:
     
  6. Ethyl

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    No wonder i'm feeling dizzy.
     
  7. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    *pretends not to notice the joke about Merc looking blonde, and blondes being dizzy dames... or was it ditzy?:biggrin1: *
     
  8. Ethyl

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    Reddish-blonde, JB. Doesn't count. :tongue:
     
  9. jakeatolla

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    Oh ????:biggrin1::confused:
     
  10. joyboytoy79

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    Strawberry blondes are still blonde, i say. Still i think she's dizzy for different reasons all-together. *wink*
     
  11. Ethyl

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    If I suddenly lose my equilibrium, it's never the side effect of my hair colour.:tongue:
     
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