Something I need to say

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

Ecchi, remember that we are a support group, and open to more than guys with big cocks. But we're more than that: we're a family. We are a community unto ourselves, and we welcome those who are honest and open. It's hard to admit a falsehood after maintaining it for so long. It takes a lot of character and guts to take that test. You've taken and passed it with flying colours. You've stayed around for so long because you've come to realise that which so many have failed to grasp: we're not just about big cocks. Big cocks are all fine and good, but people are what count. You are part of what makes LPSG a great place to hang around. There are people on this board that I know more intimately than many of those that I see every day. What you have revealed in this thread is an intimate part of yourself that proves your worth. You have entrusted us with a secret without knowing how we'd react. You put your trust in us, and we're now returning it with respect. You're part of this group, dude, and we'll be here for you as long as you choose to remain among us. We will value your posts and your presence. Thank you for coming clean. We've come to know you a little better because of it. Glad to have you around!

 

[beercan34]

Originally posted by SomeGuyOverThere@Jan 14 2005, 07:40 PM
I wish I had something to add, but everyon else seems to have put it so well.

I wil add that Im in about the same boat as you ( - girlfriend), and Ive come to the conclusion that its part of living really...:/

[post=274644]Quoted post[/post]​

Hey Ecchi,

Take care man. I don't know what I can tell you, becuase you are very clear about what is bothering you.

I honestly haven't read your posting from beginning to end, because my eyes start to tear up, and I just have to stop.

I have felt a lot of what you are feeling right now, and still do at times.

Thanks for being real.

All my best,
BC34

 

[headbang8]

Ecchi,

People are programmed to love. We need other people, and we feel good in each other's company. As long as you're a human being, you're valuable just for being part of the whole grand scheme.

Why are you loved? You're human. Stand still long enough and any human animal will be loved by someone. Relax, and enjoy one of the fringe benefits of being a homo sapiens.

Easier said than done for many of us. For whatever reason, our instinct to give and take love, easily and unselfconsciously, got messed up. And instincts, if not imprinted early, are hard to develop.

Skills--the ability to speak a foreign language, strum a guitar, or play a good tennis backhand, all require instinctive reactions of some kind. How do we devlop these instincts? Through experience. The longer you're loved, the more natural it feels. You begin to take it for granted--in a good way.

I struggle with this myself, big time. The most progress comes if I don't try too hard. I just relax, and for a few moments each day, simply allow myself to enjoy the sensation of of being loved. Depending on the day, it's the easiest, or the most difficult thing in the world. But it's getting easier.

Peace, hb8

 

[Ecchi]

I remember at one point of my life ... I tried to make myself not love others. I thought I could live through my anger at the world. I really did, and for about a year, I was unpleasant as all hell to be around. This was a quite a long while ago, back during my teenage years (I'm chuckling as I'm saying this ... I'm 23, 17 wasn't THAT long ago). And I remember the harder I tried to make myself inaccesable to others, the more depressed I got. Funny how that makes more sense to me now.

And DMW ... I have always noticed the sense of family and community here ... alot of good people come here, alot of funny, unique, intelligent and friendly people. I'm just glad you folks accept me. I can't guarantee the very best ... but I can guarantee I'll always try.

Bastards ... making me tear up. I've choked up at some of the things here ... thank you for being my friends ... thank you for accepting me ....

 

[naughty]

Ecchi Sweet,

"YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made". That is a paraphrase from Psalm 139 in the bible. I am so proud of you for laying yourself bare like this . I know that you have been one of the most giving and delightful people on line that I have had the occassion to speak with in the past year. Though intangibles such as kindness or being loving do not have a monetary value they are price less in their benefit to others. If you are truly feeling depressed, know that you are not looking through a true filter at this moment. But I thank DMW for his lovely words to you .You know I feel that way.

Naughty

 

[13788]

:Aphex^amigo): Ecchi friend...

Thank you for baring yourself to us and making proper use of your superfly support group. :^)

Let me tell you something, man.

I'm 22. Just a few months ago, I was convinced I was way uncool. Like I had no life in me anymore. Like I was destined to suck no matter what. I also felt weak. And honestly, I really don't measure up that well to most LPSG members.
My ever-loyal girlfriend sensed something and showed me ways to get help. And I'm really glad I did.
A therapist diagnosed me with major depression (which isn't as major as it sounds&#33 and prescribed Zoloft, and recently I've really started liking the way my behavior has changed. Thinking you suck is a waste of time, and HELP IS OUT THERE. You're moving in the right direction. If you're going through Hell, keep going. (Winston Churchhill)

-Pp_

 

[Freddie53]

Originally posted by KinkGuy@Jan 14 2005, 03:02 PM
Ecchi,
Whether you realize it or not, the realizations you are addressing, both privately and here in public, have already made you better. It's not about the size of your penis, what you look like or what other people think of you. It's about what you feel about yourself. I admire your strength, your courage and your honesty. You are already more of a man than many out there in the world.

If we don't love ourselves, improve ourselves and grow as a human beings, we are too crippled to give love to someone else. You are learning to love yourself and your relationship(s) will only strengthen from this day forward.

Amazing and wonderful. Enjoy the journey.

[post=274647]Quoted post[/post]​

I want to comment on the words in this post about pleaseing others as apposed to pleasing yourself. In addition to other things I do, I am a church organist. Wow, there are as many viewpoints on how the organ should sound as there are people present. There are those that like to hear the organ "shake the rafters", then there are those that if they can hear it then the organ is TOO loud. Then some like pipe organ sounds and some like the blues and jazz organ sounds. And the organ has trumpets and soft strings. It is like an orchestra with many different sounds that can be played at the same time.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! More then once I have stormed around and said it would be a cold day in hell before I would ever play the organ in public again after a bitching "counseling" session for which I did not enroll for. I have played a piece on the organ and had some come up and just brag and then add, "Wish you would just open it up a little more, I loved it, I want to hear it "shake the rafters." I go home after several comments like that feeling all so good. and then. the pastor calls me in. Oh yes, "We have had a complaint (s), a couple, a unnamed person, ad nauseum, has come in and said the organ is TOO loud. You played too many different sounds on the organ. Why do you have to put the music up there? It ox distracting when you turn pages in the hymnal to the next hymn and turn pages on the organ pieces.You looked out over the congregation during the service. The prelude was started too late. The prelude was started before the preacher took his seat. You should have played the piano on some of the pieces. Why do you have to get up and play some pieces on the organ and some on the piano. I wish you would play the piano more. Why doesn't he just play every thing on the organ. It is distracting when he gets up and moves to the piano. Wish he didn't play the organ at all. Is Freddie still able to play? I saw how he was moving slowly today.

Then there is this from my church and people in other churches comments like this. Freddie is the best organist in this entire area. Bar none. I play by note and I play by ear. Some resent that highly. Meanwhile the invitations from other churches roll in too please come and play at their church,

In my case, I have about 5 people who are going to bitch about everything I do. If Jesus came and played, they would bitch about him too. If Jesus preached, they would notify the Bishop to never let that guy back in our church.

Some foks live to bitch. That is their calling they think. It gives them great pleasure to win the bitching contest. You have to learn who the professional bitchers are and completely and totally ignore them. They are first cousins of Leo Snackdudd. The Snackdudd family is active in every church and non profit orgnization around. They have problems somewhere in there life and they are doing to make damn sure that others have problems too.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I am sensitive and it really gets to me when I realize that there is no way to please them all. If I play it in the middle then I have two groups that would like it changed. ONe group louder and one group softer. This is every Sunday. My favorite was the complaint that they couldn't hear the prayer because the organ was too loud during the prayer. I laughed at the preacher and said, "I didn't even play the organ during the prayer." That same Sunday was the complaint that I came in and fumbled with my music and wasn't prepared. I looked at the preacher, and said, "I played the opening piece by memory. I walked in and sat down and started playing. I did't touch a thing. You see, I have an opponent in the church. He is going to bitch every Sunday about something I do. Even if it is completely made up.

IF you are artsy, get ready for it. This is what you are going to face the rest of your life if you use your art skills in public. Everyone is going to critique your work. In my case, the compliments come to me. Yea. The bitching goes to the preacher.

So I have a motto. "Consider the Source". I have been known to just show everyone just how loud the organ will get after a complaint. One Sunday, I played to so soft no one could hear it. I just sat there and smiled. It stopped the complaints for a while.

Meanwhile, everyone says how fortunate the church is to have me there and that never in the church's past have they had an organist that good. I play for the big events when all the churches get together. I am not that outstanding by any means, I am just good enough to be paid to play.

So you have to develop a thick skin. The better you are in the arts, the more complaints you will get. When Aunt Sally plays and is just filling in and misses half the notes becasue she never was that good to start with and her best days are behind her. Everyone says, we appreciate Aunt Sally playing. She did the best she could. Well yes she missed several notes and played the wrong song and we had to stop and get her on the right hymn. She played the big fanfare trumpet during the prayer, but she isn't familiar with the organ and sometimes people make mistakes. I know she was embarrassed. OH I wouldn't dare say a word to her about it. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

But the next Sunday, Freddie is back. So let the bitching begin!!!!!

By the way, the real complaint. I am paid to play. If I were a volunteer, not a word would be said. Some folks like to jerk around employees, even in the church.
Some people like to bitch if you can play better then they can.

By the way it is just like big dicks. ON the little dick forum, some young guys who thought every one was hung because they had never seen a penis other then their own and were going on what they had read and seen at the porn site. So they post and they are 5.5 or a little bigger. The insults about leave this group, you don't belong and etc. That is why I am here. Those with big dicks don't usually bitch at guys who are smaller. But guys with the really small dicks really are horrible to the gusy who are just a little bigger. Taht is why I rarely go over there. Too much bitching. So most bitchers are unhappy about themselves so they tear down others so they will be on their level they think.

So in conlcusion, if you let people jerk you around, you will be miserable. The air conditioning and heating thermostats are right behind me. I get "Helps all the time. IT is too hot and it is too cold. All this in the same time period. So I turn around and pretend to play with the thermostat and they all are happy. They got to control the temperature in church that day. What they don't know won't hurt them.

Hang in there, be true to yourself. Have integrity as much as people will allow you to do so. The arts in particular are very sensitive but self rewarding. Let the self rewarding begin. Let the complaints roll off you back and with some of them just laugh at the absurdity of some complaints like I have shared. Your life will be much better.

By the way, don't judge churches by what I have posted. Most of the people are abosolutely wondeful. But some folks go to church for one reason and that is to stir up trouble. Yes Leo Snackdudd has lots of cousins and he has a cousin in every church. Sometimes lots of cousins. If you were the devil where would you send one of your soldiers? Right into the middle of the church. (This is an analogy. Not a real statement of theology here.)

So Leo is there right in church along with the people who are there for the right reason.

 

[13788]

str8_nnj: Ecchi,
Copy and paste your message here and give it to Kris.


str8_nnj

 

[B_HungSpermBoy]

Originally posted by joe22xxx@Jan 14 2005, 03:12 PM
Wow, what an amazing post. I'm always touched by how the conversation about big dick sometimes ends up with people talking about their emotions on this site.
To Ecchi, the fears you have about other people judging you are real, and they're real painful. We guys don't do so well with hurt feelings. They make us feel so weak and powerless. I know about this because I've had a lot of feelings of hurt lately in my life. My response is usually to get really angry. But lately I've just been trying more to appreciate myself, and to love myself the way my family and friends love me. I look in the mirror and see a "sensitve" guy, and wonder if I'll ever get to the point where my emotions won't control my life. It's a long slow process, at least for me. I wish Ecchi all the best things.
Thanx for the honest words about yourself.

Joe

[post=274649]Quoted post[/post]​

joe22xxx is saying it right at least for me.there are lots of emotions in me that i dont undersatnd too well.trying to be honest about them is a good thing.