Something Unique

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jeff black, Mar 19, 2006.

  1. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Give the readers of the forum a chance to learn something interesting, unique or dirty about yourself.

    For example,

    I like juice. ALOT. I drink like 6 liters of juice and water a day.

    OR

    When I was a 10, I threw my cousin's Barbie in a lake, because I was tired of stepping on it. My parents were so mad, they gave me water goggles and told me to get it becasue my little cousin wouldn't stop crying. :cool:

    OR

    Sometimes when I am having sex, I watch the clock to see how long I perform oral sex, and try to beat the previous time

    Next?
     
  2. GoneA

    Gold Member

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    when we were six, my twin brother hit me in the head with a tree branch. if you look closely, you can still see the scar


    good times
     
  3. Altairion

    Gold Member

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    I've got a big peni......ummm never mind.

    Ok, here's a good one. So when I was 6 (yea...popular time) my friend and I were out in my backyard taking turns pushing each other off the 2-3ft tall ladder section on my playground set type thing that led to the monkey bars. As pushing people off of things always leads to good stuff, I wasn't ready one time and landed on my left arm. I cried like a girl and curled up with my dad in the house for a full hour as my mom, the nurse, was gone getting groceries. So an hour later my mom comes home and then we go to the ER to get x-rays taken for my broken arm :cool:
     
  4. Pikie mongrel

    Pikie mongrel New Member

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    I can belch the alphabet on a can of Creamy Soda(doesn't seem to work with any other flavour) must admit haven't done it for years... Way too grown up now.

    And

    I see dead people.... and my Dad doesn't have crystal balls.:biggrin1:
     
  5. SpeedoGuy

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    I take a cold shower every morning outside on the patio with a garden hose. Summer or winter (at least when the hose is not frozen solid).
     
  6. potato51

    potato51 New Member

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    I once poisoned Rex Reagan, Ronald Reagan's dog. One of my aunt's friends is in charge of some charity thing that Nancy was involved with. This was 10 years ago. We were invited for tea at the Reagan's Beverly Hills estate. Any way, I fed Rex some chocolate or cookies probably both(this was way before I knew chocolate was poisonous to dogs!). Needless to say I wasn't asked back. Anyway thats my story. In my defense: I was only around 8 years old at the time. And...the statute of limitations for dog poisoning must be up by now right..riight?

    p.s. I heard he just had some minor problems for a week or so...and he wound up fine.
     
  7. carter2006

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    I once rode Bob Geldof's horse and fell off and had to have an x-ray of my head and spend 2 nights in hospital. I was also 6!!!
     
  8. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    I had a NDE when I was 26. I OD'd on drugs.
     
  9. naughty_girl

    naughty_girl New Member

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    I want a penis
     
  10. davidjh7

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    I nearly killed my best friend, literally, when I was five. My brother and his friend had provoked a fight between us. It curbed many violent tendancies in me. God help the person who awakens them....
     
  11. LongPhatDong

    LongPhatDong Member

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    (Gently sings David a lullaby...)

    I can name all 50 of the United States (intelligibly) in alphabetic order in 17 seconds. (Discreetly covers 'L' on forehead...)
     
  12. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    You must be from Los Alamos
     
  13. SR_search4bp

    SR_search4bp New Member

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    I want one too, but a huge one... :smile:

    back to the topic:

    when I was 5 my grandma served a soup. I saw something swimming in there and told my grandma: "grandma, there is something in the soup...". Grandma didn't look and told me: "eat the soup, honey, it's only spices!"... after a minute of looking at the soup I asked: "spices with legs, grandma?"


    oh, that reminds me of "spice between the..." - never mind :rolleyes:

    AND

    with 15, during a vacation trip with my parents in the Caribbean, I saw a naked guy (yikes...) under a shower rubbing his dick... but not for only 3 or 5 minutes... for full three quarters of an hour until he jacked off... it was a pretty interesting spectacle... and I even had time to get the binoculars...
     
  14. SomeGuyOverThere

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    I can, recite the entireity of the "To Be or Not To Be" soliloquy from Shakespeare's Hamlet.

    Thats 65 lines of Old English.

    On request. Any time.
     
  15. LazyKing

    LazyKing New Member

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    Well. Im sure someone else has done it. Anyways, when I was 16, I used to live by this older women(around 36 or so, pretty good looking too) and I would purposely jack off in front of the window, so she could see. It turned me on...

    Not sure if she ever saw me, but if she did, hope she liked what she saw. :biggrin1:
     
  16. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    When I was 11 my mom and I went into the furniture store for her to make a payment. I saw the coolest-looking ballpoint pen on the counter and just had to have that stupid thing. While the furniture guy and mom were busy with the receipt or something I sneaked the pen into my pocket and said to myself what a clever boy you are.

    By the time we got home, however, my conscience was bothering me. I would secretively take the pen from my pocket (couldn't let anybody see it or they'd want to know where I got it) but I couldn't bring myself to use it. It was stolen, after all. That night I didn't sleep well. I couldn't stop thinking about what a terrible human being I had become and how the furniture guy probably had to sell another chair or something so he could afford to buy another pen.

    On the way to school the next morning I stopped at the store and knocked on the still-locked door. The furniture guy recognized me and opened the door with a big grin on his face. Man, did I feel like a skunk. I handed him the pen and apologized. His big grin turned to his famous jolly-old-St. Nick ho-ho-ho.

    It seems he had seen me take the pen but he didn't say anything because he gave all his customers a new pen when they made a payment on their account. He had given mom one but when he saw me pick up the freebie on the counter he just assumed I knew what was up.

    And here I had nearly pissed my pants when I had told him what I did. Can you go to hell for stealing something that's free anyway?
     
  17. LongPhatDong

    LongPhatDong Member

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    No, because if something is free, then technically it isn't stealing. And as long as you felt bad about it, I'm sure the big G saw where your heart was.

    Now as far as all of the kitten juggling you've been doing...
     
  18. Onslow

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    For some reason this almost mirrors one of my worst theft moment (one of many) in which I was with my elderly Aunt in a store near Albany. Unfortunately I got caught and it was not a freebie pen. She first told the shopkeeper that there was no way I would have done it and then when it was found out I had she was confused. Stealing just wasn't something she would ever do. For me stealing was my first feeling of exhilaration which was enough to get me away from me. Thank the lucky stars I eventually found booze--and a vast array of pain killers. After that stealing incident I was sent to yet another relative who fortunately left the door open for me to run away--which is where and when things really got interesting.


    Tell you what Pecker--when I get to Hell (and I will definitely be going there with my record), I'll try to send you an all clear or a message that you'll soon be welcome and my new neighbor with regards to your theft of a free item--your intent is what could get you a roasting pan near me.



    Other fun moments were destroying a neighbor kids bicycle when I was 12, mixing various components of things in the medicine chest in my father's drinking glass (and not washing it out after pouring out the weird concoctions), putting lots of salt in my brother's juice and watching him gag on it, adding a bottle of tabasco sauce to a sister-in-laws homemade tomato sauce (I never cared much for Gail and her la di da attitude so I decided on revenge).

    I have done things of the sexual nature to various pieces of office equipment (phones, adding machines, ejaculating into desk drawers of bosses), a few times years back while working alone on a weekend I would don another workers uniform trousers, never wearing underwear and--well you get the idea.


    For me the list of infractions and strange behavioral actions is nearly endless.
     
  19. Dr. Dilznick

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    • I always had some little amoeba looking things that floated on my eyeball. I never knew if it was just me and never asked. I found out in science class while looking in a microscope trying to find the organism in the slide and I asked my lab partner if she had found it and she said, "I can't tell. I don't know if this is it or if it's those little things on your eyeball, you know." That was a great relief to me and one of the greatest learning experiences ever.

    • One of my eyelids will flitter for a few days every few years. This is annoying. Because it's uncontrollable and motherfuckers think you're crazy or shifty.
     
  20. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    To have or to hold?
     
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