Son/Nephew asking

Discussion in 'Show Off' started by The-Bigger-the-Better, Apr 22, 2008.

  1. The-Bigger-the-Better

    The-Bigger-the-Better Active Member

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    I just wanted to say to the guys that post questions and responses about sons or nephews asking questions about sex or cock size....I think that although I am not ashamed of my own cock or sex history I would be mortified if my kid or nephew asked me anything.

    God I am gonna get a lot of shit for this I know. But the truth is other than a quick , Please use a rubber and why you should wear one, I don't see the need to talk about anything else.

    I don't think there should be conversations topics like,
    Dad, Look..is my cock big enough?
    How do you masterbate?
    What sexual positions are there?
    (Who seriously ever asked thier DAD any of those questions?)


    Seems to me like those topics should be left to self discovery.
     
  2. Charles Finn

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    grow up and expand your mind
     
  3. marleyisalegend

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    i completely agree with you. i personally learned how to masturbate, have sex, clean my uncut penis and pretty much everything else between health class and personal discovery. i think a lot of the threads about sons/nephews/uncles/etc seem more incestuous fetishes than actually seeking advice, though i'm sure some are genuine but there are two kinds of posts in this category

    1st: My son is entering puberty, is it time to talk

    this kinda post seems normal to me, someone who may be shy about speaking about sex to their kids and is simply seeking advice

    2nd (and we get a lotta these): I was talking past my son's room and couldn't help but notice his flaccid member hanging delicately between his legs

    this kinda post has tones so predatory is amazes me the MODs don't pick up on it and shut these kinda threads down. this guy is obviously speaking about his son in a sexual manner that suggest desire not only for a relative, but for a minor. these threads usually sound more outrageous and sound more like fantasies than people actually asking for help. you brought up a great point and i too hope that soon i can browse through the threads without having to be reminded that i need to worry about the safety of my underage nephews from people who post things like the 2nd example
     
  4. jmayfield37

    jmayfield37 New Member

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    There will always be a time when curious minds will ask questions. I personally would rather my son or my nephew ask me questions(at appropriate age) rather than asking someone else whom they do not know. I would also consider it to be a great honor to be able to answer any of their questions. Someone else may give them a wrong answer, then at that point they would suffer the effects for a lifetime.
     
  5. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

    D_Pubert Stabbingpain Account Disabled

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    Dads and moms and relatives can answer all their sons and daughters (or whatever) questions without "hands-on" demos. They can also explain to their sons and daughters the appropriate way to clean their bodies without showing them. All questions should be answered honestly and using correct names for body parts.

    The only conceivable exception to this would be if your son or daughter approaced you saying that they think something is physically wrong. But even then, nothing but a real quick glance followed by a trip to the doctor is warranted.

    By the time my parents got up the nerve to bring up the "birds and bees" topic or ask "Do you know how babies are born," or "use a rubber," I already knew the answers so I never had to ask.:smile:
     
  6. B_supermenc

    B_supermenc New Member

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    I believe depends on the culture...here in italy it is normal that parents and children speak of sex...it is better rather that he am a parent to explain the sex to their child that somebody else, for instance a contemporary (what he/she knows how much the child himself, if not less), or he can use us some lessons of sex in the public schools
     
  7. Hellboy0

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    Sounds like a great place to grow up, supermenc. It wasn't that way in the US when I was growing up and I know for a fact that my parents would NOT have responded well to me asking them about my early sexual questions and urges at around age 13... I still remember my dad telling me at age 16 that if I was masturbating, that I should stop cuz it was 'bad'.
     
  8. arkfarmbear

    arkfarmbear New Member

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    I'll bet you also oppose sex education in schools. If your suggestions are followed you leave your son, nephew, etc, as prime targets for predators and other unsavory types. If your response to questions is emotional or highly negative you set the stage for all types of dysfunction in their futures.
    I do agree some of the threads on the site sound incestuous, and perhaps that is the intent.
    If the moderators pulled every thread that was offensive there would hardly be any left.
    When you log onto a restricted website, you gotta expect some offensive subjects to pop up.
     
  9. B_supermenc

    B_supermenc New Member

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    it needs to go to degrees...when her child is small he will speak of bees and flowers...then when it will have 6 or 7 years he can be added some other, for instance that it is her mother to guard the life of a new child and that this was born from the love between her mother and hisdad...to 10-12 it will be said that also him or her one day from adults they can have some children...doing so he will reach the age of the adolescence that the boy or the girl won't be ashamed to talk to the parents of these things, and her parents won't feel him in embarrassment about talking to the children of sex...if everybody did so, there would be no more cases of violences on their children, above all to work of priests of which his/her parents entrust him and to which leave often the assignment to explain what sex is...there would not have been so the need that ratzinger apologized...
     
  10. yngjock20

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    UGH. That's sooo true. There are so many "questions" here that are underlying pleas for predatory approval that it can become unsettling.

    There's not much that you actually need to tell your young in that regard, besides the exact functions of your genitalia and some things that will start to happen to them in the future. Granted, if they ask a question like, "I think I like touching other guys' dicks" or something like that, then it's at your own discretion how you respond. You don't have to give them information that they don't need until they need it.
     
  11. B_boynextdoorkpt

    B_boynextdoorkpt New Member

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    I would never have or never will ask my dad about cock size. I have never seen him naked and really NEVER WANT TOO! LOL.
    OR an uncle.
    Now, when I was 15, my aunt's husband who was in his late 30s I saw naked. I spend the night there with my cousins, and we were late for Mass one sunday, and he told me to hop in the shower with him to get it over with, they only had one bathroom at the time. I looked of course, and he was huge, but he never said anything about his dick or even sexual it was just a shower an innocent one.
    Landon
     
  12. Dregun

    Dregun New Member

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    I agree that a few of them although they try and sound authentic are just merely some form of fantasy they are using because they get a rise from it.

    However I do think it's important for parents to discuss sexual development concerns with their children. I learned so much false and blatantly incorrect things at the start of 4th grade that it took a long time for me to separate the bullshit from truth.

    The most important things to explain to your children (in my opinion) in this order.

    1. Development - The changes are natural and nobody goes through them at the exact same age or time.

    2. Masturbation - It's healthy and harmless as long as it doesn't interfere with being social. Any further questions or concerns about masturbation should be asked for THEN given if appropriate and you feel comfortable going further in this discussion. If they ask you a question and you do not feel comfortable answering it tell them "I don't know, I'll see what I can find out" then find someone or documentation you can give them to answer that question.

    3. Safe sex safe sex safe sex, make them understand how dangerous (don’t use "wrong") it is to be unprotected. Seriously you gotta make them scared that they can die, because that’s much more important then hurting your feelings or disobeying your rules.

    4. Bring up the anatomy of both sexes in a educational yet interesting way. Throw in some slang (not too explicit) and give them a basic rundown on what happens during sex.

    5. Confront their fears of embarrassment or inadequacy pertaining to sex and their bodies.

    6. Let them know at the end that any questions they have will not mean you assume they are doing or want to do what was being asked. Let them know that when it comes to sex you are not their parent but their friend and all parental rules (grounding, scolding etc etc) do not pertain to subjects regarding sex. You have to abide and make them believe you are serious on being completely open about sex and keeping it separate from your normal parental duties of discipline. If they ever feel the need to ask a question tell them if they say "Mom/Dad I have a question about sex" that-that means they are no longer your Son/Daughter but "insert their name here" who has a question You may be able to help with.

    7. Last but not least let them know that all sex is natural and healthy as long as they take the necessary precautions to protect themselves. Sex is sex without labels of being gay or straight and you will never judge them for who they are. Give them a hug, say you’re proud of them and then tell them to clean their room in a joking manner and walk away.

    Honestly, that all seems pretty easy to me.


    Dregun
     
  13. B_boynextdoorkpt

    B_boynextdoorkpt New Member

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    Great post Dregun,
    I had sex ed in 5th grade and my parents are both docs, so they always gave me good information, and they were blunt and practical about it. Masturbation never came up, I think one learns that one day or it just came natural to me lol.
     
  14. spunkyboy2008

    spunkyboy2008 New Member

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    I guess everyone and every family is different but I never asked parents about anything sexual-related and got intensely embarrassed if they ever talked about it (which was only once or twice). Plus there wasn't anything I didn't learn at school sex education, myself (masturbation) or from books/the internet that I really needed to know.
     
  15. Dregun

    Dregun New Member

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    Almost forgot,

    Am I the only one who thinks all of these ED commercials should only be aired after 9pm. I am by no means a prude, I would rather when I have children for them to see softcore porn then someone getting thier head chopped off in a realistic fashion but I digress.

    Seriously if I had a 5 year old right now and they said "daddy what duz erectumtiled discfunktions mean?" :eek: ...geez I would hate to say "Ill tell you when your older" but what else could I say? I think ED commercials should only be aired after a certain time and only be allowed 24/7 on certain channels...like the golf channel :biggrin1:
     
  16. Dregun

    Dregun New Member

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    Yeah I think the best part about masturbation is the discovery of it! I mean who doesn't remember the first time they masturbated and came?!? However I still think its important for parents to let their child know that it is healthy so they don't think they are doing something "wrong or sinful" if and when they do it.

    I mean shit, my parents used to TEASE me about it when they thought I wasn't listening. They assumed I did it in the shower since I liked (and still do) like taking long showers; not cool having your parents try and make fun of you to your grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all in 30 seconds flat! Too bad my parents never gave me the talk I plan on giving my children, I mean where do you think I got most of that wrong information from? :mad::biggrin1:
     
  17. B_boynextdoorkpt

    B_boynextdoorkpt New Member

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    LOL, I am so tired of those erectile commercials, its like every 5 seconds. Is Impotency that wide spread
     
  18. EnglishMan

    EnglishMan Well-Known Member

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    Anyone with any intelligence can tell that most of the posts on father/son are totally fictitious.

    There is something inherent in a lot of gay men (maybe it is the same with straight guys and their mothers) that makes the idea of having sex with their fathers or brothers in 'fantasy land' a turn on. But I do stress 'fantasy land.'

    I'm not going to go into the deep psychological reasoning, which have probably been discussed on here many times, but in reality if the posts on line (not just this site) are to be taken seriously, then incest in families would be through the roof.

    I wasn't even going to bother commenting on this thread, but I get so infuriated when people write these ridiculous posts, expect them to be taken seriously, and people still comment on them.

    I have no problem with these sort of stories when they are in the fiction section - some of them are extremely hot - but when they are posted as real experiences I can't really believe that they think they are taken seriously.
     
  19. kirbster

    kirbster Member

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    I had to laugh when reading this post on masturbation and realized you're from Isle of Palms! :biggrin1:
     
  20. Freddie53

    Gold Member

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    Landon, there is a difference between seeing because of circumstances and wanting to. You were in a great hurry in getting in the shower with your aunt's husband. Yeah, you looked. It was just a shower as you put it.

    You most likely grew up in a home with multiple bathrooms, and that kind of situation just didn't happen with your dad. But, there was a time when most families had only one bathroom. To get everyone ready, there had to be a schedule. When possible guys were in the bathroom by themselves, but sometimes my brother and my father were both in the bathroom at the same time.

    In the mornings, when we were awaken to get up for school dad was already shaving. I never even once wet the bed past being a very small child, but once I actually got out of bed and started moving around, most mornings if I had waited until everyone had cleared out of the bathroom, I would have wet myself, especially as a preteen. So my brother and I would pee in the toilet while dad was shaving. When we were younger we did that together, but that stopped as we got older.

    So had you been raised in a situation where you and your dad had been in the exact same situation when you were younger, especially prepuberty, you would have a story.

    My sons have similar stories as you do. There wasn't near as much seeing each other in the nude because we had one bathroom for my wife and me and the other bathroom was for the boys. They decided when to start locking the door getting privacy from each other. When they were little they weren't modest at all. They made those decisions about modesty.

    I gave the talk to my sons, but I also taught that at school so it made it easier I think. There was never any show and tell in the discussions. Nor is there a need to.

    If a boy has never seen an adult penis especially if he has no father, there are sites for teens with drawings that are better than just pulling pics of the LPSG. But will work.





    There was the post about how to clean our bodies. Yes, my parents both of them showed me how. I was three years old at the time. They would check from time to time to see if I was doing a good job until I was about eight. How did they check? They had me clean my penis and see if I was doing it right. Most times they would just ask and that not very often.

    Boys shouldn't have to be told when they enter puberty how to clean their penis. Unless there is something dad missed that I haven't learned yet, puberty doesn't change how the penis is cleaned.
     
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