N. Korea leader?s son is ?Brilliant Comrade? - Asia-Pacific - msnbc.com It must be difficult these days being a 5-foot tall dictator, especially when you've got the post-stroke problems Kim Jong Il has in finding a worthy familial successor. From all reports, his two oldest sons have been deemed not worthy for colorful explanations that tread lightly on the true reasons and are are written as not to offend the wacky communist ruler. As the names are so similar I shall refer to them as sons number one, two and three. Son Number One- the oldest- made his grandest mark on the international foreign relations stage by attempting to sneak into Tokyo Disneyland without a passport. After this aborted incursion into the house of the mouse, he is now so frightened of his father, the dynamic dwarf, that he is reportedly holed up in luxury digs over in Macao. Son Number Two was reject because "he has the heart of a woman." I conclude this to mean he listens to a lot of Barbra Streisand and likes to re-arrange flowers and dab into interior decorating rather than learn about missiles and blowing up stuff. Throughout history being gay didn't automatically disqualify an heir apparent- look at Bavarian King Ludwig. But somehow I don't think the North Koreans wanted to spring for the dough to build another Neuschwanstein Castle when they don't have enough rice for dinner. So that brings us to Son Number Three- Kim Jon Un. Through the process of elimination this 25 or 26 year-old has been chosen to be a chip off the old man. So little is known about this guy the only photo is of him as an 11 year-old. Some reports are that he is short and tubby, along with a rumor that he spends his days (and nights) completely sloshed. Just what we need, a little alcoholic Asian Pillsbury Doughboy with nukes. If his other two brothers are any prognosticator Kim Jon Un is probably as big a screw-up as they are, so now the monumental job of building him up before the international community has begun. "Henceforth, the son formerly known as numnuts will be known as Brilliant Comrade."