Songs for the Well-Endowed

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Ecchi, Aug 10, 2005.

  1. Ecchi

    Ecchi New Member

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    I'm fairly sure Lords of Acid have done something along those lines .... Lemme go look around allmusic.com ...
     
  2. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    the only one that springs immediately to my mind is nurture my pig by the reverend horton heat

    pretty much any lame gangsta rap song from the past 10 years will include at least one reference to the size of the performer's endowment, but I think that might be more of a compensation issue :eyes:
     
  3. mindseye

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    I always liked "Pull Up To The Bumper" by Grace Jones ("Pull up to my bumper, baby, in your long black limousine. Pull up to my bumper, baby, and drive it in between.")
     
  4. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Yes,


    The inimitable Ms Jones. Oh and we have our own DOLF here already. So I can just be Grace! LOL! I happen to love that one as well. Well, we could always reprise "How deep is your love" or Solid as a Rock" ! LOL!

    naughty
     
  5. BruceSter

    BruceSter New Member

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    I'd throw in one of my former ex-g/f's favorite songs: "Size Queen", by Betty Blowtorch. Just looked it up on the net, contains phrases like (in excerpts):

    "If you're wondering who I am
    Well I'm a girl who can handle a man
    I don't have time for little boys
    I want a man with man size toys

    I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me
    I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me"

    "Yo, I'm Vanilla Ice and I'll be your dream
    So won't you open up your legs and I'll make you cream
    Just like a waterfall
    You know I got it all
    A long white dick almost ten inches tall

    Pull it out and I'll be the judge
    I'll let you know if you're well-hung
    I'll feel you up and I'll check for size
    If it's puny don't waste my time"

    "Oh, yeah...stick it in..."
     
  6. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    Would AC\Dc's "Big Balls" count?

    I'm upper, upper class high society
    God's gift to ballroom notoriety
    And I always fill my ballroom
    The event is never small
    All the social papers say I've got the biggest balls of all

    CHORUS
    I've got big balls
    I've got big balls
    And they're such big balls
    Dirty big balls
    And he's got big balls,
    And she's got big balls,
    But we've got the biggest balls of them all!

    And my balls are always bouncing
    My ballroom always full
    And everybody comes and comes again
    If your name is on the guest list
    No one can take you higher
    Everybody says I've got great balls of fire!

    CHORUS

    Some balls are held for charity
    And some for fancy dress
    But when they're held for pleasure,
    They're the balls that I like best.
    And my balls are always bouncing,
    To the left and to the right.
    It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night.

    CHORUS

    And I'm just itching to tell you about them
    Oh, we have such wonderful fun
    Seafood cocktail
    Crabs
    Crayfish
     
  7. BruceSter

    BruceSter New Member

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    Possibly, thought that's a song about big balls and not a big dick. And as you know, both don't necessarily come in a package - but let's not be too strict about this, it's about big male privates too.

    Bruce
     
  8. ashlar

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    That was going to be one of my suggestions as well ... that song kills me.
     
  9. Dr. Dilznick

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    Of course. Rap is pretty much full-blown testosterone in a musical form (which explains why 99% of female emcees are cursed and hated). It's a man grunting over a sparse drumbeat about drugs, vagina and guns. Its roots lie in the very core of Africa and expose the thought process of the original man.
     
  10. Dr. Dilznick

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  11. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    I remember when it was actually funny. you know, before all the idiots started trying to take it seriously and turn it into another mainstream cash cow.

    "just because we have no sense of humor of our own, doesn't mean we can't try too hard"
     
  12. Ineligible

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    Down the road there lived a man I'd like you all to know,
    He grew a great big marrow for the local flower show.
    When the story got around they came from far and wide,
    And when they caught a sight of it, this is what they cried:

    Oh, what a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before!
    Oh, what a beauty, it must be two foot long or even more!
    It's such a lovely colour and nice and round and fat,
    I never thought a marrow could grow as big as that!
    Oh! What a beauty! I've never seen one as big as that before!

    He was leaning on the garden gate the other day,
    And beckoned to a lady who lived across the way,
    He led her up the garden path and showed it her with pride,
    And when she saw the size of it the little lady sighed:

    Oh, what a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before!
    Oh, what a beauty, it must be two foot long or even more!
    It's such a lovely colour and nice and round and fat,
    I never thought a marrow could grow as big as that!
    Oh! What a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before,
    I mean me marrow! I've never seen one as big as that before.
     
  13. dufus

    dufus New Member

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    If one has ever heard the expression "donkey dick," you could not exclude "The Donkey Serenade." It was a classic from the big band era.
     
  14. Imported

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    bzyrch: This part of "Ball And Biscuit" by The White Stripes is thought to be a veiled reference to lead singer Jack's rumored endowment:

    Read it in the newspaper
    ask your girlfriends and see if they know
    that my strength is ten fold woman
    I'll let you see it if you want before you go
     
  15. rich-9.8

    rich-9.8 New Member

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    Pansy Division did a song called "Dick of Death" which fits pretty well.

    "When i met him he was nice enough
    for a shot man trying to act real tough in a bar
    That kind of attitude won't get you very far

    His shirt was open and i saw his chest
    a salt-and-pepper, soft and furry mess
    You know how that turns me on

    Then he took my hand
    and ran it over the outline in his pants

    He had the dick of death
    And so i closed my eyes
    and tried to fantasize about this dick of death

    We grabbed a cab and went away to my place where we
    dropped our clothes so fast you'd think we were racing
    I couldn't wait to see it for myself

    There it was, staring up at at me
    Long and perfect, boy, was i ever lucky
    He kissed me and we fell down on the bed

    Then he took my hand
    And let me guide him into my promised land

    He had the dick of death
    I looked into his eyes
    And let him sodomize me with his dick of death

    I'd never seen one
    Quite this big before
    When he's soft he's nearly
    Hung down to the floor

    I don't know if i love him
    but i love his dick of death."

    They're a great band. Imagine a gay Green Day/Smiths hybrid.
     
  16. Shelby

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    FRANK ZAPPA and THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION

    BWANA DICK

    My God, Madge... you voluptuous New York City slit...
    Why did'nt you tell me before?
    It was so hard to tell with your little blousey-poo on,
    but.. now that I see you... I would have helped...
    I didn't know you were so obviously.. PREGNANT...

    I've got the thing you need
    I am endowed beyound your wildest
    Clearasil-spattered fantasies, oh oh oh..

    Girls from all over the world
    Love to write my name on the toilet walls
    At the Whisky a Go Go
    For I am Bwana Dik
    I am Bwana Dik
    Me Bwana Dik
    Me Bwana Dik

    My dick is a monster
    Give me your heart
    My dick is a Harley
    You kick it to start

    (Chorus line) When Bwana Dik speaks
    The heavens will part

    My dick is a dagger
    I'll force it to fit
    My dick is a reamer, Baby
    To scream up your slit

    Steam it! Ream it! cream it!
     
  17. BobLeeSwagger

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    This is so obvious, people. Cover song by Aerosmith.

    Got me the strangest woman
    Believe it, this chick's no sinch
    When I wanna get her goin'
    Then I whip out my Big Ten Inch

    Record of the band that plays the blues
    Well the band that plays the blues
    She just loved my Big Ten Inch
    Record of her favorite blues

    Last night I tried to tease her
    I gave my love a little pinch
    But she said now stop that jivin
    and whip out your big ten-inch

    Record of the band that plays the blues
    Well the band that plays the blues
    She just loved my Big Ten Inch
    Record of her favorite blues

    I'll cover her with kisses
    and when we're in a lover's clinch
    she gets all excited
    when she puts on my big ten-inch

    Record of the band that plays the blues
    Well the band that plays the blues
    She just loved my Big Ten Inch
    Record of her favorite blues

    My gal don't go smokin'
    and liquor just makes her flinch
    Seems she don't go for nothin'
    'cept for my big ten-inch

    Record of the band that plays the blues
    Band that plays the blues
    She just loved my Big Ten Inch
    Record of her favorite blues
     
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