"sore" & "tired"

[BS76]

It also has to do with not having the same sexual inhibitions I had when I was younger and enjoying sex for the pure sensation of it all which was sometimes lost in my early years amongst the worry about the *relationship*. I am fully/totally comfortable in my sexuality

Ahem:

"The reason for the incorrect perception is because women that are older are less concerned with being seen as a slut by their friends."

Anyone see some similarities?

Absolutely agree 100%, and I discovered this one when I studied evolutionary psychology. A woman's sexual peak is the same age range as a mans, and her willingness to explore further boundaries in middle-age is a sign of maturing emotionally rather than physically. In primitive cultures younger women were up for anything, and also in many contemporary cultures today.

Thank you. Care to explain to her about the part of women ramping up sex to ensure they get preggers just prior to menopause. My understanding of it is that women peak when they're young, libido wanes for a decade or so, then it ramps up just prior to menopause to give the best chance for procreation thus giving the appearance of high sex drive later in life. In truth women peak when they were young when their fertility is highest.

Mother nature is not a feminist.

 

[deleted356736]

Thank you. Care to explain to her about the part of women ramping up sex to ensure they get preggers just prior to menopause. My understanding of it is that women peak when they're young, libido wanes for a decade or so, then it ramps up just prior to menopause to give the best chance for procreation thus giving the appearance of high sex drive later in life. In truth women peak when they were young when their fertility is highest.

Mother nature is not a feminist.

I am an anthropological psychologist, not a biologist, so what I know is what we observed about primitive and savage peoples in the world. In any case, you have mistaken sexual frequency for sexual confidence, adventurousness and enjoyment, and the two aren't the same.

 

[dolfette]

 

[RawDog]

For what it's worth, my wife has never really gotten used to my girth, stamina, or libido. We have slowly adjusted to meeting halfway, but after 4 years, we're both convinced we're the best each other's ever going to find. It isn't about settling, it's about fit and knowing each other's nature.

Having said that, here's what we've learned:

- For recuperation after a fuckfest, use a cold compress and have her hold it against her pussy until the soreness/rawness goes away.

- Use the bottled lube well before you actually need it. I read once that the glands responsible for lubricating a woman's vagina starts to decrease production after her first orgasm. A woman's lube is not similar to a man's tumescence. If she dries up it isn't as if she's not as turned on.

- Communicate. Offer a rest break if you notice her wincing. Unbelievably, I discovered only last month that when she winced and I asked, "You ok?" When she answered, "Yeah, nothing's wrong, keep fucking me." it meant everything was ok from the second she said, "Yeah", but everything hurt when she winced.

- Don't pressure her for round 2. I need to practice what I preach here, but do as I say not as I do for that one.

- Women on this board are going to crucify me for saying this... Don't always satisfy her. Leave her wanting and she will come back for more. Be too needy and suffocate her, she will push you away. It's a manipulative mindfuck/mindgame that I never liked, but unfortunately works. I hate it. I want to shower a woman I love with affection and appreciation only to find out it's not the same concept for her. (No, I never had a restraining order put on me).

But, my being hotter in my 40s has more to do with being in touch with my own body, not feeling the need to play games, having come to terms with who I am and what I like, forgiving my physical flaws, and understanding there is SO much more to people than the outward physical stuff AND...liking myself and who I am regardless of what others think. :wink: It also has to do with not having the same sexual inhibitions I had when I was younger and enjoying sex for the pure sensation of it all which was sometimes lost in my early years amongst the worry about the *relationship*. I am fully/totally comfortable in my sexuality - and that's what makes me hot/sexy!

My wife has a 21 year old friend who thinks of us as the cool parents she wished she had. It gives me the creeps because I don't see her in a daughterly way, but I believe her comment is more a desire to have my wife be her mentor. I hope you don't mind if I forward that paragraph you wrote to her. It's eloquent, light-hearted, sagely and one of those I-wish-someone-had-told-me-that-when-I-was-21 statements.

 

[BS76]

I am an anthropological psychologist, not a biologist, so what I know is what we observed about primitive and savage peoples in the world. In any case, you have mistaken sexual frequency for sexual confidence, adventurousness and enjoyment, and the two aren't the same.

??? That was half of my actually point, that woman are taught that when they get older their frequency is a result of their confidence and whatnot. That is partially true why they don't self-moderate as much as they would when they're younger, but their drive to actually have sex is a separate thing as I described previously, that it's an illusion that it *seems* they are peaking because they are really just having a mild resurgence in libido. All things being equal, the hormones in younger women are stronger than those in older women. Older women do peak compared to women in their late 20s though.

Again, women's libido going up in their 30s or 40s (relative to their late 20s or early 30s, but still lagging behind those in their late teens & early 20s) is natures way of telling them to step it up in the bedroom because pretty soon she won't be able to have kids anymore.

 

[dolfette]

or maybe, MAYBE older women have grown comfortable in their own skin, confident in what they want and more skilled at getting there.

and a lot of our hormone changes don't follow your rules...horny during pregnancy would be one example. there are social as well as reproductive reasons for evolving horny periods. to keep the bonds between partners tight when there's a risk of his wandering off, abandoning his family and breeding elsewhere.
or perhaps as a woman's fertility declines, her desire for more frequent sex compensates by maximising her chances to conceive.

 

[RawDog]

This thread got me thinking about the whole soreness issue again, and I have a question for the ladies. My wife's soreness comes mainly from the introitus. If you look at my avatar, it's the area where the penis is at it's widest that gets the highest degree of friction. The other soreness is around her thigh muscles. The third area she gets most sore is around her deep spot.

Do the women around here experience those same areas or are there others?

 

[deleted356736]

??? All things being equal, the hormones in younger women are stronger than those in older women. Older women do peak compared to women in their late 20s though.

You are limiting your analysis to Western women brought up in Christian-influenced societies, and the sexual repression of women that is part of our way of life. I am looking at women past and present from non-Western non-Christian-influenced societies, where women were not expected to be sexual wallflowers. This expectation is why, in a natural state, the female desire for lots of good sex happens at a young age.