Sorry, honey, I have a different brain

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, Oct 3, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    View_From_Below: Reuters today has an article about a new book by social scientist Michael Gurian, entitled What Could He Be Thinking? How A Man's Mind Really Works.

    Gurian apparently makes a strong case for significant, neurologically-verifiable differences between male and female brains, which explain why men and women often differ so radically in their approach to behavior and to relationships.

    VERY interesting.

    One quote: "...the consequences are profound for a generation of 'liberated' women brought up to believe it is men who must change, and men who must respond to a female way of relating, in order for marriage to succeed."

    Here's the link:

    http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20031001/lf_nm/life_men_dc_1

    VFB
     
  2. Imported

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    AnonyMs: Read the article. Lost its credibility when he said something about women's lib wanting to make men redundant.

    I don't think so!

    Anyhoo, based on what he said, that men are not into all the touchy feely conversation, then in order for a woman to get all her emotional conversational needs met, she best have a group of girlfriends. So much for the romantic notion that one person can fulfill all your needs. Puts an awful lot of pressure on that one person.

    The Sweet Potato Queens say a woman needs five men:

    1. One to pay for every thing
    2. One to go shopping with
    3. One to fix things
    4. One to have sex with

    and I can not remember the fifth one. Any SPQ wannabes out there who remember the fifth one?

     
  3. Imported

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    TragicWhiteKnight: Quote:
    "Gurian, author of the 1996 groundbreaking book "The Wonder of Boys" and its follow-up "The Wonder of Girls," is no anti-feminist. He is married with two daughters..."

    Oh; anti-feminists would never support the institution of marriage, would they? Stupid article. Sounds like another quack of a sociologist repeated age-old truisms with simplistic medical proof ["Wow, our brains are a different/size shape! That means we must be different people!"]

    And: "go back to nature, look at the PET scans..."
    ...is quite a funny contradiction, really.
     
  4. Imported

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    TragicWhiteKnight: Oh, and the fifth man is someone to dance with.

    Although I don't want to be a Sweet Potato Queen. I don't even want to be Cabbage Patch kid.
     
  5. Imported

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    awellhungboi: What is a 'Sweet Potato Queen?'
    ???
    [/offtopic]
     
  6. Imported

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    AnonyMs: www.sweetpotatoqueens.com
     
  7. Imported

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    awellhungboi: Thanks for the link, Nony! Although that site raises more questions for me than it answers . . .

    Ontopic, I'd have to say I've long held the sometimes unpopular and controversial view that there are fewer differences between men and women than either sex would like to admit.

    When a friend of mine read my novel her one comment was on how strong and believable my female characters were. Which I took as a great compliment.
     
  8. jonb

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    [quote author=View_From_Below link=board=meetgreet;num=1065205062;start=0#0 date=10/03/03 at 11:08:42]Reuters today has an article about a new book by social scientist Michael Gurian, entitled What Could He Be Thinking? How A Man's Mind Really Works.  

    Gurian apparently makes a strong case for significant, neurologically-verifiable differences between male and female brains, which explain why men and women often differ so radically in their approach to behavior and to relationships.

    VERY interesting.

    One quote:  "...the consequences are profound for a generation of 'liberated' women brought up to believe it is men who must change, and men who must respond to a female way of relating, in order for marriage to succeed."[/quote]
    I just hope this won't be another case like John Gray claiming that gender balance was its best in the Middle Ages. (I liked the review: A rebuttal from Uranus.)
     
  9. Imported

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    gigantikok: I didn't go to the link and read the article, so I probably shouldn't be posting. I did read some of the quotes, especially in regards to women expecting men to change to suit their personal interests in the relationship. Not to cause a rucous, so I won't generalize, but to speak using my own personal experiences... in the last two relationships that is exactly what happened. They were attracted to me, and liked certain aspects of my personality, but I can see now that they went into the relationship expecting to be able to change the rest of me to suit themselves. I think it happens alot more than you would expect. Maybe it doesn't stem from feminist view points, maybe it does, who knows? I do know it happens though, and sometimes it isn't very fair. Just let me be a guy and love my flaws as much as my strongpoints (directed to all the women, and only the women, who are similar to my ex's).
     
  10. Max

    Max New Member

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    [quote author=gigantikok link=board=meetgreet;num=1065205062;start=0#8 date=10/03/03 at 19:07:04]They were attracted to me, and liked certain aspects of my personality, but I can see now that they went into the relationship expecting to be able to change the rest of me to suit themselves.  I think it happens alot more than you would expect. [/quote]

    Most guys have experienced that ... but when you meet that rare girl who doesn't want to "improve" you ... she might well be the one on that basis alone.

    On the main subject of the thread, it isn't all that surprising to read that men and women are wired differently, even politically correct parents who attempt to bring up sons and daughters in exactly the same way can't avoid seeing that very quickly.
     
  11. Imported

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    longtimelurker: [quote author=TragicWhiteKnight link=board=meetgreet;num=1065205062;start=0#2 date=10/03/03 at 11:38:14]Quote:
    "Gurian, author of the 1996 groundbreaking book "The Wonder of Boys" and its follow-up "The Wonder of Girls," is no anti-feminist. He is married with two daughters..."

    Oh; anti-feminists would never support the institution of marriage, would they?  [/quote]

    And they DEFINATELY wouldn't have daughters! :)

    I do personally believe that there are fundimental differences between the way men and women's minds work. It is probably due in the main, either to testosterone or oestrogen/progesterone or differences in upbringing.

    I haven't read the book in question, but I have read one of the (many) similar ones called 'Why men don't listen and why women can't read maps'. It was quite an interesting little book in itself and made notice quite a few things about how I look at stuff in a typical 'male' way.

    To comment on the side-thread developing here, I am quite annoyed about how modern society in general seems to believe that all men must completely change their way of thinking because the female way is somehow inherantly better. Men have been thinking in male ways for several millenia before the advent of psychologists et al. with no apparent side-effects.
     
  12. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I met a few 'ladies' in college who were probably charter members of the following organization. I figured they were probably just frustrated virgins.

    http://www.heartlessbitches.com

    Be sure to read the disclaimer at the bottom of the page.


    Pecker

    (A girl phoned the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." So I went over. There was nobody home.)
     
  13. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    [quote author=AnonyMs link=board=meetgreet;num=1065205062;start=0#1 date=10/03/03 at 11:16:56]
    The Sweet Potato Queens say a woman needs five men:

    1.  One to pay for every thing
    2.  One to go shopping with
    3.  One to fix things
    4.  One to have sex with

    and I can not remember the fifth one.
    [/quote]

    TragicWhiteKnight replied:

    Hell, I could've told you that! And some people say that straight women have no use for gay men!
     
  14. Imported

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    Tender: hey! DMW!
    you can pay for me a new car, take me out for dinner on your off evenings....
    maybe some diamonds....
    gay men can spend cash cant they??
    yeah that would involve shoppping, and well then when the car breaks down, youd have to use your tools to fix it sweetie.
    so yeah you would be useful at my place...
    ;)
     
  15. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Nah ... I'm the one to dance with!
     
  16. Imported

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    rikter8: [quote author=AnonyMs link=board=meetgreet;num=1065205062;start=0#1 date=10/03/03 at 11:16:56]

    The Sweet Potato Queens say a woman needs five men:

    1.  One to pay for every thing
    2.  One to go shopping with
    3.  One to fix things
    4.  One to have sex with

    and I can not remember the fifth one.  Any SPQ wannabes out there who remember the fifth one?

    [/quote]

    So....
    You need
    1. A Millionaire
    2. A Gay man
    3. A Handyman
    4. A jock

    You forgot 5
    5. A Maid to work in the buff

    :)
    C
     
  17. Imported

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    gigantikok: In regards to the original topic and not any side topics that developed:

    I really not surprised men and women are so different, either. Come on, folks. As men, we differ from apes by 300 base pairs. As men, we differ from women by supposedly over 1000 base pairs. One whole chromosome. Do the math, my friends. That's quite the difference!:)
     
  18. Imported

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    View_From_Below: [quote author=gigantikok link=board=meetgreet;num=1065205062;start=0#16 date=10/05/03 at 22:54:00]I really not surprised men and women are so different, either.  Come on, folks.  As men, we differ from apes by 300 base pairs.  As men, we differ from women by supposedly over 1000 base pairs.  One whole chromosome.  Do the math, my friends.  That's quite the difference!:)[/quote]
    Yes. And there are really two points being made in the book, apparently, each interesting in its own right.

    One is, as gig says, the biological/neurological demonstration that men and women are in fact wired up very differently.

    But the other is that the best approach to long term success in male-female relationships does not lie in guilting men into trying to behave or respond more like women, whatever that may mean in different contexts. (Transforming male behavior does seem to be presented as desirable quite often. We have talked on other threads, with some vexation, about society's p/c expectations of men.)

    Disclaimer: just want to point out that I have not read the book, only the Reuters article about the book. But let's assume it's reasonably argued.

    VFB
     
  19. Imported

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    ORCABOMBER: Okay, I can probably accept some physiological changes, however, I think that on a whole, it is dangerous to be so assuming. I have a female friend, who notices that I can read people by their tone of voice really well, but I'm "useless at body language" (that comment in my own words). Wouldn't that be a so-called feminine trait?

    I think that it is a point to say that often, it is the man who has to change, who has the flaws, the personality disorder, the behavioual glitches, whatever, but maybe, as the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" says, can't we just get along??

    Sorry, this bit's off topic, but base pairs don't really make the lifeform. It's WTFF they mean.
     
  20. Imported

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    Valkyrie: There always has been and always will be differences between male and female behavior. Part upbringing, part biology, part society's expectations.

    In a way I think it's not always correct to assume that it is the man required to change. As a woman in "career" mode I can quite safely say that many female traits are viewed as highly undesirable and creating a "requirement" for me to change into a more male mode of thinking and acting. That is, if I want to continue competing on the same terms as the rest of the field...

    /Val
     
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