Soul mate\ is there such thing as too much time together?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Richard Lugie, Nov 2, 2011.

  1. D_Richard Lugie

    D_Richard Lugie Account Disabled

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    I've been dating my girlfriend for two months now. We are both extremely happy and love each other very much. We both think that this is it, and we both plan on spending the rest of our lives together. Too some of you, this might seem really early, but it just feels right. Anyway for those who have had long term relationships I am wondering if hanging out with your significant other too much is a bad thing? We spend about 6-7 days a week together, and we both are first year full time students at University. I do not want to screw this thing up, and it doesnt feel wrong at all, we love every moment that we do have together, I just dont want any problems down the road.

    Thanks for your thoughts and opinions.
     
  2. D_Rufus_D_Dufus

    D_Rufus_D_Dufus Account Disabled

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    For me personally I know my wife and I need space from eachother. We have things that we always do together and we have things that we need to do apart.

    I do think to a certain extent it's unhealthy for a couple to spend too much time together because the 1st time the other person or vice versa wants to do something alone thats when the insecurites and issues start.
     
  3. D_Richard Lugie

    D_Richard Lugie Account Disabled

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    What sort of things do you do apart from each other?
     
  4. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    dude, you don't "want any problems down the road"? and you are talking long term, life time committment? you better believe there will be problems down the road, and you two better figure out ways to solve them together or you're toast.

    btw, been married 33 yrs and together for 35.
     
  5. D_Rufus_D_Dufus

    D_Rufus_D_Dufus Account Disabled

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    We both travel due to our jobs and put in very long hours at work. Sometimes I come home from work and she's asleep or she leaves early and I'm still asleep.

    Also we have mutual friends that we do stuff together with and then we have separate friends that we hang out with individually with.

    There is no guarantee that you will not have any problems in a relationship. At somepoint one of you is going to need space, it might not be now, or in a few months or maybe in a couple of years but at somepoint it will happen.

    Some see being in a relationship as easy while others see it as a daily challenge.
     
  6. helgaleena

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    Don't create problems for yourselves where there are none, OP. Just discuss the subject and be ready to grant each other alone time when the need arises.

    Every person needs time to themselves, but the amount varies a lot depending on the individual. Both of you will approach the granting of 'alone time' to one another with a spirit of wanting what is best for your partner. Love Does find a way, if you let it!
     
  7. D_Richard Lugie

    D_Richard Lugie Account Disabled

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    Thank you! :) Very good advice! We have talked about it, and know that if we need the time we can each have it! :)
     
  8. D_Richard Lugie

    D_Richard Lugie Account Disabled

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    Im talking about problems in relation to being around each other too much. I know that other problems will arise some time, but we can work through them when they come.
     
  9. D_Kitten_Kaboodle

    D_Kitten_Kaboodle Account Disabled

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    OP, your 'space' time will depend on you and your partner's personal needs and preferences. I have friends who even take separate vacations and never do anything with their spouse...That (to me) is pretty extreme, but they are happy and love each other.... and that's what matters.

    On the other hand, I think my husband and I are on the other extreme where we absolutely love and look forward to our together, alone time. Sometimes its just sitting in the same room watching a movie....or spending hours talking about everything and nothing. We do practically everything together (but no, we do not work together) When we have free time, we prefer to share it together.

    I am sure most people are somewhere in the middle, like zrr6zrr6. But the bottom line is, talking about needing space and understanding that to love each other means to communicate your needs, and also to be able to both give and take in the relationship will help you face those problems down the road.

    Commitment doesn't necessarily mean you are connected at the hip..... only the heart....
     
  10. D_Rufus_D_Dufus

    D_Rufus_D_Dufus Account Disabled

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    ^^This^^
     
  11. Gecko4lif

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    Never been a fan of connected at the hip. Too independent for that.

    Nothing wrong wit spending time together but or wanting to be together alot but it doesn't have to be all the time
     
  12. DavidXL

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    If you both are really enjoying spending time together, you should . . . continue to enjoy spending as much time together as you both want. It would seem artificial to me to force yourself to spend time away from each other if you'd just rather be together. When you want to spend time apart, you will.

    But, be careful not to ignore your friends, because they might not be there down the road when you need them (I always hated when I got "dumped" by my friends when they got seriously involved with girlfriends - I was always careful not to do that. Well, except for one "friend" who had a serious girlfriend when I didn't, and he was pretty damn smug about it. When the tables were turned, I didn't include him in my life with her. Yes, I can be petty.)
     
  13. str8bro1

    str8bro1 Member

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    My advice, from first hand experience, is to stay individuals while remaining a couple. THe initial bonding time - spending almost all of your time together, is pretty normal and healthy but if it continues to be that exclusive you will ultimately damange the other relationships in your life. I say it's more healthy to spend most of your time with her but do NOT exclude your guy friends. Maintain them...make them a priority as well. Don't let them grow distant. Trust me here bud - years down the road - when you are settled into a fantastic marriage where you have more time on your hands (possibly even after children are grown) you will look around for your brothers - if you haven't cultivated them...you'll find none. Sad. Tragic really.

    Start now before you set a pattern of exclusivity.
     
  14. D_CountVonBhigBohner

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    You are not ready to make that decision at 19 years old. Yes, I believe that you honestly feel that way. However, the two of you will change over the next 3-5 years and you might not feel the same way when you are 23. Enjoy your life. You shouldn't be thinking about ANYTHING permanent in your life right now.
     
  15. snoozan

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    You've only been together for 2 months. At some point you'll probably want to rejoin the world as individuals again. But hormones are a strong thing at first.

    Enjoy yourself now. The future, who knows?
     
  16. D_Richard Lugie

    D_Richard Lugie Account Disabled

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    Oh I know. My friend proposed to his girlfriend before they were even dating for a year. That I think is a little ridiculous, way too early. We feel that it will last, because we are so similar, and the love is so strong. However I wouldnt make a move like proposing for at least 3 years.
     
  17. B_Craiggers

    B_Craiggers New Member

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    It really just depends on your own relationship. I've had past relationships where I've definitely needed "space"... time to myself and away from the other person.

    The woman I'm seeing now though, and have been for the last two and a half years, we're totally connected at the hip. She's my best friend and we're always on the same wavelength. Just about every minute that we can spend together, we do spend together, and love every minute of it. We're not always doing exactly the same things, sometimes one of us will be watching TV and the other reading a book, but we're always side by side.

    We're probably 50/50 on trips to the kitchen (half the time just one of us will go, the other half the time the other follows close behind), but trips to the store and such we both go (more fun that way).

    So if the two of you are happy to always be in eachother's company, just go for it. Be respectful if the other wants a little space, but don't feel like you need to hold back in order to maintain your relationship if you're both having fun.
     
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