soy milk makes me fart!!!

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by B_capslock, Aug 8, 2007.

  1. B_capslock

    B_capslock New Member

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    I'm talking long, loud, flappy farts. Farts that reverb on the surrounding cheeks, causing an occilating pattern of butt tooting thats the envy of fratboys. Big air pockects forming in you intestines..... I'm talking balloons of air-turds tumbling around, looking for an escape. I'm talking cascading barrages of butt burst!!!


    I mean these meaty, turdsy farts... real air hangers. thick, pungent clouds of fetid air, only surpassed by the liquidy turds that often follow. You turn on your side, and spread your cheek as if to help quiet down the racket, only to realize that you, in effect, removed the silencer, since its your balloon knot that serves as your anal Pavorati. the fetid opera that follows leaves you in a mixture of disgust and awe. for certain your underwear is forever changed.

    Its near inspiring... just how successive they are.. just this build up of turd ghosts that seemingly appear to haunt your room long after they were unceremonisously fart bursted from your ass. No sooner is one sen tumbling into your surroundings than is another one ready to go. Even the animals in the house go running!

    You may recoil, but no without taking a wiff of curiosity ... just to see what you are made out of.. With near pride you coax a few turd molecules with your hand toward your nose. What follows is nearly as complex as any wine judging as you mentally rate stench, texture, acidity (did it burn yoru ass?), hangtime as well as rotten-egg factor...also known as the sulfur standard.

    ...oh.. I just let another barrage go... with some satisfaction I might add. Nothing large, but definitly a balloon knot twicher, butt cheek resonator. >sniff sniff< Ah yes...the bouquet of rotten soy milk, digested protein amino acids for texture, almost a chestnutty finish... >sniff<... ah... the stench of being alive!!!
     
  2. joshunot

    joshunot New Member

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    Me too!
     
  3. ZOS23xy

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    I can't use soy milk or any part of soy. I am allegic to it.

    It means health food can make me sick.
     
  4. B_cyrus

    B_cyrus New Member

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    Soy makes me poo. I had two boxes of Morning Star's pseudo-sausages in one day once... they sure tasted good but it was a BAD IDEA!
     
  5. Not_Punny

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    Eeeeewwwww! Are you guys kidding?! :eek:
     
  6. Long&Thick

    Long&Thick New Member

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    Haha I laugh at this thread. I have not tried Soy Milk or soy products for that matter, so I wouldnt know how they make my body feel. But I find it comical what certain things in this universe make us do...dontcha just love nature!
     
  7. c_smith

    c_smith Active Member

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    feed me say some raisins and yes, i will be clearing the room.

    i'd hate to have just eat some raisins and end up hooking up with a chick or even a hot guy. what a disaster, smellwise that would be!
     
  8. Mr. Snakey

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    I never had soy milk before. Now im gonna run out and get some. Thanx for the tip.
     
  9. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    If I see any of you drinking soy milk above mine...


    You'd better watch out.
     
  10. Rugbypup

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    Could be worse, it could make you shit yourself.
     
  11. Mr. Snakey

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    I wont. I promise.:wink:
     
  12. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    i don't like the texture of soy milk. there's something about it that doesn't taste right. i prefer fat free or 2% milk with no rBST.
     
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