does anyone else enjoy a good spanking? when i was a kid, my mother married a guy with a really huge cock. he loved parading around the house naked, especially when mom wasn't home. i was fascinated by the length and thickness of his huge uncut cock, and his big balls hanging down. i used to compare his to my tiny one, which is probably why i'm still so turned on by comparisons. he never did anything to me sexually, but he did spank me a lot. it seems i was always doing something to piss him off. the sadistic bastard would tell me to go into his bedroom and take all my clothes off and wait for him. he'd leave me in there, trembling in fear for 10 minutes or so, then he would come in, pull up a chair, and make me lay across his lap. he would then slap my little bare butt really hard and slowly, until it was bright red and burning hot. when he was done, i would have to stand there naked, apologize for whatever i'd done, and then confess any other "wrong doings" that i had committed recently. masturbation was always high on his list. if i hadn't done anything, i'd make stuff up. the secondary confessions usually resulted in more spanking, with the admonition to not tell my mother, or the spanking would be even worse next time! after a while, this spanking began to turn me on. when he saw my erection, he would spank me even harder. i realize now as an adult what a viscious child abuser that guy was. i do however still fantasize about those spankings, and really crave one. it wouldn't be the same now, though. i think what turned me on about it then was that he dominated and humiliated me so completely. he was big and strong and hairy, as well as being hung. i was skinny and little and hairless and had a puny little dick. the experience had a huge effect on my future sexuality. i still love being a sub to a big dicked man, and love being dominated and sexually humiliated. i suppose i can blame that on "step dad", too, or maybe i'm just queer by nature, but maybe that stuff has nothing to do with being gay. any body else had a similar experience with an abusive parent or other adult that they believe influenced their present day sexuality? i guess i'm still looking for answers.