Spaz Attack!

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Gillette, Feb 4, 2011.

  1. Gillette

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    It's winter here so wearing gloves to clean off the car and grip the cold steering wheel are a must. Last night, crossing hand over hand to make a turn the velcro at the wrists of my gloves locked my hands together. Spaz attack!

    It got me to thinking of other boneheaded things that happen.

    Like sticking a fudgescicle in my mouth and having my lips freeze to it. Dumb.
    I freed my bottom lip with my tongue but had to wait about three minutes for thawing to release my upper lip.

    Another recent spaz event involves my cat. She has a floor to ceiling pole with platforms at various heights which she likes to sleep on and is in the habit of leaping from the top to the arm of the sofa. A few days ago I was reaching for something, heard her claws scrabbling and looked up to see her airborne heading directly for me. I assume the scrabbling was for purchase when she saw me in the way but it didn't work. She collided with the side of my face. Stunned us both. The new rule is to look everywhere for cat before doing anything.

    I'm really hoping the rest of you have similar stories to share so that I'll know I'm not alone in momentary loss of brain function.
     
  2. HiddenLacey

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    #2 HiddenLacey, Feb 4, 2011
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  3. nudeyorker

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    I have not had anything that qualifies as a spaz incident in a long time but the best one that springs to mind is.
    I was frying chicken (wearing nothing but a bib apron) the oil got too hot and the flame caught the pan on fire. Being one not to spaz out I calmly waked the skillet to the sink where I planed to use the extinguisher (stored under the sink) to put out the flame and make as little mess as possible.... Well just as as I was putting the pan in the sink a breeze blew in through the window over the sink and caught the curtains on fire... and then caught all the baskets that were on the shelves next to the sink.... The kitchen was quickly filling with black smoke so I shut the door at the kitchen so the smoke would not spread to the rest of the apartment and went into the hallway to get the fire hose, and locked myself out of the apartment and had to run to the neighbors apartment (wearing only a bib apron) to get the key.

    We managed to contain the fire and now I only fry food in an electric skillet.
     
  4. Gillette

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    I love you.
     
  5. midlifebear

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    Several mornings ago The Squeeze rolled over to hold me in bed thinking that I was responsible for the wet nibbles of this balls that had inspired him to have a major erection. It wasn't me. It was our new black lab, Cuba, who had been licking The Squeeze's testicles. I was doing early morning stretches in front of the bedroom window.
     
  6. vince

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    Although I am Canadian, I attended high school in Florida. In 12th grade during the annual awards ceremony I was unexpectedly called up to the stage to received the Daughters of the American Revolution award for excellence in American history. Halfway up the stairs to the stage, I realized I had my Montreal Canadiens jersey on. Not wanting to offend the old ladies waiting hand me the certificate, I started to pull the shirt off over my head but the darn thing snagged on the handrail. I lost my balance and went down hard, landing on my butt at the foot of the stairs.

    It really brought the house down and to this day the topic of this spaz attack always comes up at any kind of reunion or get together of the old gang.

    Another time, in grade 11, on the same stage, I had the lead in the Junior class play. In one scene, the female lead was suppose to faint and fall into my arms. Well on opening night, with my parents in the front row, she swooned and collapsed into my arms and I dropped her! Hard. She hit the deck on her butt and her wig flew off and landed about 8 feet away! Talk about embarrassing... After the laughter had died down, and the hairpiece was back in place, I said, "I thought you were a natural blond my dear." and she slapped me! Another 2 minutes of hysterical laughter... and another pratfall I still have not lived down.
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    That's hysterical Vince, it sounds like you have a natural gift for improvisation. I love theatre stories; I have a few but I think they are only funny if you were there.
     
  8. tgirlsrgreat

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