Sperm donation to lesbian couple

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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I am reminded of that case not too long ago in the UK. The man donated for a lesbian couple. The couple split up. The woman who did not give birth refused to provide child support. The courts ordered the donor to pay child support. Even though he has no access to the child, and was just doing a favor, he's on the hook.
 

someperson

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I am reminded of that case not too long ago in the UK. The man donated for a lesbian couple. The couple split up. The woman who did not give birth refused to provide child support. The courts ordered the donor to pay child support. Even though he has no access to the child, and was just doing a favor, he's on the hook.

Yes I understand that risk
 

sykray

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I was asked once to donate sperm to a lesbian couple with whom I was acquainted. I was prepared to give this serious consideration until they stipulated that I wasn't to see them again; see the child; contact the child; or have anything to do with the child any time in the future.
My view was that if I were to be a biological father then I would want to know the child and follow his or her life and development. Their reply was, "Well you must throw away millions of sperm and week or even a day without wanting to know what happens to each sperm." This was the clincher in deciding to refuse their request. for me there's a big difference between throwing away a tissue after wanking and knowing that there is a child out there that is your biological son or daughter.
 

Uncutpete

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When I was in my twenties, I fathered a child for a grad student who wanted to have the kid on her own. She went back to Europe with the child. I see the girl, now woman, like a niece, whenever I am near or she comes here. About 15 years ago, a couple asked me to stand in for the hub, who was sterile, and impregnate the wife. We were having sex anyway so she went off birth control and got pregnant -- actually two times. Both times the sex was amazing, by the way. I am 'uncle pete' for both of the kids, too. They act like parents, but I relate to the kids quite closely, though they live on the other coast now. I am happy about all three donations.
 

DavidXL

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I could never do it. For me, I wouldn't feel that it was just a donation of sperm, I'd think of it more like a child I'd given up (like how women (and some men) feel when they give a baby up for adoption and are haunted by it). In grad school, I sold sperm for research purposes ($50 per pop) for a couple of years. Apparently, my sperm is very fertile (I think I had a high percentage that swam straight and fast) and I was in big demand for whatever studies they were running (OK, I was proud, I admit it). They asked if I was interested in donating for use by couples, but I declined for the reasons above.

Obviously, everyone thinks differently, and just because I couldn't do it, doesn't mean that others wouldn't feel differently. Just make sure if you do, you really think long and and hard about how you'll feel about it down the road.
 

ManchesterTom

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If I donated, I would want to be involved in the child's life. Being biologically related to one of the lesbian parents could be a very special situation. Life comes with no guarantees at all. Think about it, be honest, and do whatever you choose guided by the best intentions.

Being a father who does not live with their offspring can be similar to a divorced dad. For many divorced dads it is a very difficult emotional time.
 

AridPlateau

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I was the donor to my sister's girlfriend back in the 1980s. It took 2 tries, but the result was a wonderful girl who is now in her 20s. I was hesitant when asked, mostly because I was in a financially precarious situation at the time and was aware that the potential issue of child support was unsettled in the law. I went to a lawyer and had him draw up a contract which, although probably legally unenforceable, at least memorialized what we intended the arrangement to be.

There was no agreement as to what my involvement with the child would be, but of course once I saw her I wanted to be involved in her life. Because I lived (then and now) several hundred miles from my sister and her gf, there was a built-in obstacle to a really close relationship, but I see her in person once or twice a year and am in contact with her otherwise a couple of times a month. Yes, the moms are still together, and yes, she calls me Dad.

Although it's worked out great in my case, others' various comments as to what could go wrong are worth thinking about.
 

Thirdlegproduction

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Right now? sure I wouldn't mind.

but I don't think it would go well with any future partners, it is likely to be a crack in the foundation before you even met the love of your life.

Besides the risk is pretty high for the donor to become a moneytree even if you made arrangements.