The Iraqi Footballer Alex Ferguson flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football, and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to England. Two weeks later United are 4-0 down to City with only 20 minutes left. The Manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod, and on he goes. The lad is a sensation and scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for United. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch, he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in Premiership football. 'Hello Mum, guess what?' he says. 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me the fans, the media they all love me'. 'Wonderful', says his Mum, 'let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed; your sister and I were ambushed; gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters; and all the while you were having such a great time'. The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say Mum, except that I am very sorry?' 'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' explodes his Mum. 'It's your bloody fault we moved to Manchester in the first place'!!