Spouse Or Partner's High School Reunion

insert_8

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This question is a spin-off from the thread "High School Reunions" (The responses there are mixed between go/no-go, but those who say "Won't go" seem to be quite emotional and emphatic about it.)

Would you go with your spouse, partner, or S/O to his/her High School Reunion?
On the one hand, is it much different from any other party - the company picnic, the wedding of the nephew you haven't seen in 10 years, etc. On the other hand, it's a party for him/her - you don't really know those people, and probably don't have any connections to them. Of course, in a small minority of cases, the two of you may have attended school together, or at least close by schools, so there is some overlap of friends.

My wife's 50th is imminent. It's a few states away, and she wanted to go but didn't know how she'd get there. (She doesn't drive, for medical reasons.) I said that I would take a couple of vacation days and go with her. Over the years we have been married I have met some of her high school classmates, and one is her cousin. She was overjoyed, until I added "I need to meet all the boys at your school, and find out what THEY got on the first date."

How about you? Go, or no-go?
 
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lapdog2001

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My wife has attended my high school reunions and we've had good times chatting with my old classmates about life, travels, etc.
No drama at all. My first girlfriend has been at a few of the reunions and we've both had great conversations with her (again, about our lives, nothing at all about the past).
If my wife wants me to attend any of her reunions, I would go.
 
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twoton

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I’d go. Why not? It would be something to do.
And maybe I’d get to meet my wife’s ex b.f.: champion wrestler, West Point, Army Rangers, foreign deployments, rank of major. Nothing too intimidating. o_O

She’d never go, though. She’s cut all ties with her hometown except for her parents and a couple relatives.

As for mine, I went to the five year and have skipped the rest. We’re at #35. I keep in touch with the people I want to.
 

palakaorion

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We always went to each other's reunions. Graduated from schools in different but nearby districts, didn't meet until after HS. Met in college, some overlap in friend circles.

Unless there is 100 percent mutual trust, going to a reunion without your partner, especially out-of-state, is a recipe for relationship unrest IMHO.

Next month will by my 40th, and my first as a widowed man. Could be interesting.
 
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insert_8

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I went to my wife's 25th reunion. To us, it was just an excuse for a date night. When you have 4 kids, you'll use anything as an excuse.
How old were you when you married? By the 25th H.S. reunion I'd expect the kids are mostly grown and almost gone.
 
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confidential36

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We married in our 30's. Having kids later in life is the new norm. I don't think a single parent in my daughter's 1st grade class is in their 20s.

How old were you when you married? By the 25th H.S. reunion I'd expect the kids are mostly grown and almost gone.
 
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deleted1242097

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I made the mistake of not going to my wife's school reunion a 4 years ago and she met up with an old friend, that sparked off an affair that's still going on ..
 
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Tripod228mm

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We married in our 30's. Having kids later in life is the new norm. I don't think a single parent in my daughter's 1st grade class is in their 20s.
Yep, We had kids "older", too, but we are still the youngest parents in our kids' classes by almost a decade in most cases! All of our friends had their first kids into their 40s. We have a new baby in the family, parents are 43 and 50. Crazy.
 

Jjz1109

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I’d go. Why not? It would be something to do.
And maybe I’d get to meet my wife’s ex b.f.: champion wrestler, West Point, Army Rangers, foreign deployments, rank of major. Nothing too intimidating. o_O

I gather in some form this thread is alluding to meeting old boyfriends / girlfriends, and seeing how they managed over the years . . . .

Slightly off topic, but my wife and I recently attended a wake in her old hometown. We got separated in the room, but I noticed some dude had her ear for like 20 minutes. I was busy with my kids. My wife eventually broke away, and asked her brother who the dude was. Her brother informed her who, and it turned out to be an old high school boyfriend. Mind you, as family members will do, this dude’s name came up often over the years. Kinda like “the guy that got away.” In fact, my mother-in-law carried a picture in her wallet of my wife and this guy at their HS prom, until my wife finally told her to get rid of it, and my fucking sister-in law would give updates that he was now some Vice President at a bank, etc. Now, mind you, I’ve done fairly well for myself, my wife and I lead a very comfortable life, we travel, have a nice home, and I am fairly good looking if I say so myself, and I think I did pretty well in the manhood department. But it would piss me off whenever his name came up.

Well, the dude is now over weight, wore a suit that didn’t fit, looked disheveled, and apparently during the conversation he had with my wife (who again didn’t realize with whom she was even speaking), admitted tons of drama including problems with his kids, drugs, mental illness, and other life challenges.

So my friend, don’t worry about the champion wrestler / West Point (ok, that’s impressive) / army ranger . . . . shit. You got her, she’s with you, and dude, that’s what matters. And I would bet our wives are well aware how fortunate they are.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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My guy and I are both of the "I couldn't care less about those fuckin people" mindset.

I would never go to mine, or invite him... He would never go to his, or invite me. I'm thrilled we're both on the exact same page of that book.

I run into classmates from time to time randomly, and they seem to get upset or angry when I don't want to catch up on how things have been. They didn't give a single fuck back then, I don't give a single fuck now.

We don't care who grew up to be successful, or a failure. We don't care to inform them how our lives turned out.

Really, I don't think I'd go if someone paid me to. Fuck. Those. People.
 

AlteredEgo

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There is no way in hell I'm going to my reunion. I couldn't possibly care less what has become of those people. I don't even remember their names, except for the one I fucked, and he was so terrible I felt awkward the one time I saw him after graduation. He was so happy to see me, and I was just looking forward to never seeing him again. I felt badly about that. I was valedictorian and skipped graduation. I went to my job instead. I don't even know what I did with my diploma. I haven't seen it since my forst semester of college. I put it with a copy of my parents' death certificates and my taxes proving I was independent and eligible for grants based on my income. I put that manila envelope in a drawer. I wonder if it got stolen. Dunno.

His reunion? No thanks, but if he wants to go and wants me there I would go make him shine like I always do at parties. He's my wallflower. I'm his social butterfly.

He doesn't want to travel 1500 miles to see people he doesn't remember.
 
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keenobserver

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It's interesting. When I graduated I always thought I, would remain close with a lot of my classmates. As a class we were tight and stuck together as a group all through high school. After the second reunion I lost interest. The people I stayed close to I saw or stayed in touch with over the years but mostly we all went on different paths and lost interest in keeping in touch. At my last reunion last fall, the 45th we had a good turn out and I enjoyed touching base but that was enough. I never asked a partner to go, although I went to one when we were together - a class in a school I had never heard of since it was miles away from where I grew up. It was a nice event, people were friendly - I knew a couple of class members from my partner over the years so I did not mind going - it was a nice night out, drinks, dinner, dancing at a nice country club.

As a couple I would go to be supportive of my partner, but if they did not want me to go, I'd be happy staying home. Nostalgia ain't what it used to be, and as Wolfe said, "You can't go home again."
 
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insert_8

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So my friend, don’t worry about the champion wrestler / West Point (ok, that’s impressive) / army ranger . . . . shit. You got her, she’s with you, and dude, that’s what matters. And I would bet our wives are well aware how fortunate they are.
:emoji_thumbsup:
 
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849142

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My wife’s 40th reunion is coming up a little later this year and I am trying to persuade her to attend. She says she passed up her 20th and 30th primarily because being the self-professed “class slut” she didn’t want to subject herself to the snide remarks that she experienced at her 10th reunion. She is very open and talks freely of her sexual past and I have absolutely no issues with anything she may have done. I have to admit that part of my motivation for wanting to go with her is to meet some of her old boyfriends and find out what all she did and with whom.
 
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NCbear

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I’ve got mixed opinions. On the one hand, I was socially awkward, didn’t look my best (acne and a series of bad haircuts), and was dressed by my parents throughout my K-12 years. But it was really nice to show up at my 20th with my now husband looking my best (and very different from my old look) with a beard, a great haircut, a trim waistline, and a wonderfully tailored sport coat and elegant tie. People were asking via email who that handsome guy was. It was nice, especially since many of them had dissed me constantly in high school.

Still, more of them had grown up than I’d expected, and all of them had found their definition of success.

Since then, I’ve been in three really stressful jobs and have let myself go to hell. I’ve now got 255 pounds weighing me down, a 42-inch waist, high blood pressure, and a belly out to there. Not to mention my beard is graying and my social skills are regressing. So I didn’t go to my 30th (I was scheduled to be out of the country the day after) and I truly don’t want to go to my 35th or 40th unless I can get back in shape.

It’s a pride thing, yeah, but it’s also part of growing up in what’s now one of the best places to live in the USA—the Research Triangle Park area of NC. Highly competitive.

Which means I want to go to reunions after this only if I feel successful. Is that so bad?

NCbear (who’s sometimes but not nearly always superficial :rolleyes:)
 

Oralgami15

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I did okay with the girls in my high school days and in my senior year I dated a girl for a few months who was off the charts brilliant but who had zero experience with boys. I was the first guy she ever kissed and we would make out for hours. However, despite having a respectable amount of experience with probably 6 girls by that point (which she was aware of) I never even got as far as feeling her tits - I could sense that she just wasn't ready for that and I didn't want to press the issue. After our prom we broke up and I never heard from her until our 30th reunion was coming up. Somebody compiled a list of our classmates with contact info. I sent her an email which began "I'm not sure if you remember me or not." She responded very quickly and she had fond memories of me. We had a lot in common including having just split up with our respective spouses. She came into town, we met up and what she had remembered most fondly about our time dating in high school was the fact that I respected her boundaries despite being sexually experienced and she appreciated the fact that she felt secure when she was with me and that I treated her "like fine china".

Long story short, we never made it to the reunion and, instead, ended up naked in my car and her declaring "touch me everywhere you wanted to touch me when we were in school!". She had learned a lot in 30 years!