Stalking- WTF!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by B_Sativa, Dec 12, 2007.

  1. B_Sativa

    B_Sativa New Member

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    Any LPSG members have a advice...
    1. Any suggestions on how to get rid of an online stalker?
    2. Men what causes you to go off the deep end and start stalking?
     
  2. JC8

    JC8 Member

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    I've had a few female "stalkers", so let me ask you what makes you go off the deep end and start stalking?


    Oh, as to number 1 - Presuming you've not revealed too much personal info, it should be fairly easy to ignore them after clearly communicating you don't want to speak with them any longer
     
  3. B_Sativa

    B_Sativa New Member

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    How does this help? How can you answer a question with a question?
    I have never "stalked" anyone so I wouldn't know. I have clearly communicated I wasn't interested at all- and havent in close to a month.
     
  4. Draconis71

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    I'd suggest keeping email accounts private, Drop off the face of the world for a month, or so...

    For why some of the guys go wierdo..... well.
    You'll get those type of idiots, even offline, but, it's probably easier access, and they hide behind the anonymity of the internet (Which is FULLY traceable, btw)
     
  5. rob_just_rob

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    I think the point JC8 is making is that your second question is offensive. Most of us don't "go off the deep end", any more than you do. And I haven't stalked anyone either, so how the fuck would I know what sets off a stalker? :rolleyes:

    I appreciate that you're frustrated, but tarring everyone with the same brush isn't going to get you sympathy.
     
  6. JC8

    JC8 Member

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    :yup:




    /Socraticmethod
     
  7. nintynyne

    nintynyne New Member

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    I don't think it's just us guys who stalk, just crazy, obsessive, people in general.


    The point is these people are crazy, meaning logic may not apply, I doubt what ever you sa, you'll get them off with words.
     
  8. TheRob

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    now how the hell would we know what causes stalkers to do what they do
    I know that when I like someone (male or female) it's usually got to do with respect and finding them funny
    if a girl makes me laugh, I will forgive her pretty much anything

    did you try talking to this person
    usually you want to be near someone out of an appreciation for some aspect of them, making them uncomfortable is generally the last thing on your list of to do's...
     
  9. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

    I know just as many guys that have been stalked by "psycho" girls. Stalking isn't limited to gender, either on the "giving" or "receiving" ends.

    Question 1. was fine, but question 2. Probably wouldn't have drawn so much reaction if it was just "Does anyone know what triggers people to engage in stalking/obsessive behaviour?".
     
  10. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    never had an online stalker. years ago, i had 2 female stalkers. for awhile I had both of them stalking me. I was able to shake the one, because she had a good job and work ethic, so she could not stalk me full time. with both, I laid low for awhile, broke my normal routine. one night I came out to go to a bar, they both were sitting down the street in their cars. followed me to the bar, i wonder if they ever met. I started leaving my house around 4 pm, instead of 9pm and drove to a nearby city, and dated and stayed with an old GF on weekends for awhile. I told my old gf what was going on and she wanted to find both of them and tell them I wasn't worth it. Ha Ha. This succeeded in pissing them both off, and I got rid of them. only to have the one return for awhile later. the one was a terrible fuck,cute but thin, and the other was very pretty and nice, great body, not bad in bed, but did not want to go out with me any more, BUT wanted to make sure I did not go out with someone else. when I disappeared on weekends she got very pissed, and confronted me, "who are you fucking??" " I demand to know?" She had issues, her parents were divorced, she was the oldest and her dad had beat on her mom. I never hit or beat on her, and she told her gf that I did, and her GF told her she was lying. Never figured that one out. she continued to harass me and later me and my wife for a few yrs until we moved away. we told almost no one when we moved and 2-3 months after we were in our new city and home, we found that she was making inquiries as to our whereabouts. she never found us, and moved to God knows where.
     
  11. D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

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    Why do people make comments like this that don't help the original poster at all?!?!?! Instead of being a dick, just don't say anything!!! What does this contribute to Sativa's problem??? Nothing!!!! Rob clearly states he wouldn't know what sets off a stalker so why is he even posting in this thread??? Oh wait, he blocked me before. Guess he won't be reading this :wink: But the same goes to the rest of you that post for the sake of posting. If you're not contributing anything helpful, why are you saying anything?!!!!!? What advice can sativa take from Rob's post???? Once again, nothing!!!!

    As for the OP, online stalkers are persistent but all you have to do is ignore. Delete the emails, block him on the various IM programs and wait it out. I would think whatever email service you use has an "ignore" feature to auto-junk emails from certain recipients. The IM programs all do. Just don't expect this to be an overnight fix. It could take months for him to latch onto someone else. And unfortunately, that's what it comes down to. He won't lose interest in you until he's found someone new to obsess over.

    Which brings me to the reasoning. As I said before, it's an obsession. It's not about love but rather a need to be in control. Most don't realize, or are willing to accept, they're stalking. There are lots of catalysts and technically, more than one type of stalking depending on the circumstances surrounding the couple. For your case, I'd guess the guy is a loner and you showed him more attention than he was used to. Even if it wasn't more than a "thank you", that could still be enough. I've had people doggedly pursue me when all I tell them is "thanks" for a compliment. A one-word response and I'm still getting messages. Anyway, lots of different types of stalking and each has different causes attached to it. Almost all, however, are the result of the stalker having some psychological breakage.
     
  12. TheRob

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    a girl I work with and I have an odd relationship
    it's not stalkerlike (I hope) but we get jealous over each other, even tho we are only friends and don't want to date
    tho we each have confessed to finding the other physically attractive
    in my case that's because she is, in her case well she probubly needs new glasses
    anyway point is we arn't interested in each other but we get all jealous if the other is talking to a memeber of the opposite sex
     
  13. TheRob

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    actually, he's explaining to her something she didn't understand about another persons' responce and telling her why she isn't getting better responces

    if I start a thread in the womens section asking why women are all retarded then list ONE example of something dumb a woman does
    do you thnk there will be lots of people responding with reasoning as to why women are stupid?
    no there will be lots of bitching
     
  14. D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

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    He didn't say it wouldn't get her better responses. He said it wouldn't get her sympathy. BIG difference. You can think she's incorrect in specifying males vs. males/females and still offer advice on the subject. Rob_just_rob didn't offer advice. I wouldn't care if he defended the other poster AND provided something useful but he didn't. He simply took the opportunity to criticize her.
     
  15. TheRob

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    ok but what's the point?
    she posted a question for MEN in the WOMENS ISSUES section
    this isn't the help people figure out stalkers section
    so it's not like there is some negative conotation to posting something OTHER then advice
    afterall if you paid attention to his POINT isntead of the fact that he wasn't helping, he is telling you that the question is one that only a stalker or a criminal psycholigist can answer
    but your too busy bitching that he isn't helping
    that's fine but you have put more posts in this thread that ARN'T helping the o.poster then he did
    so you are doing about as much good as burning your boat so that it won't sink....
     
  16. D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

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    You can't be serious. Did you even read my post?!?!?! I'm the only one that has offered advice on both questions!!! Instead of fixating on what could have been a typo for all we know, I ignored it and gave help!!! I'm well aware nearly 50% of stalking cases involve women as the stalker. She's obviously wrong for singling out men, assuming it was done purposefully. So the hell what?!?! No reason to mention it because that doesn't change her situation and the reason she needs help.

    Her question is NOT one that only a stalker or a criminal psychologist could answer. It can easily be answered by...A FORMER VICTIM!!! How didn't that occur to you before??? This forum has thousands of members. It's not unthinkable there are more than a few victims of stalking here. Which, once again, brings into question rob_only_rob's reasons for posting such an unnecessary post.

    Lastly, the women's issue folder IS the place to put this because women are still the targets of stalkers more often than men. Moreover, cases involving women as the victim often end much worse than when they're the stalker. Why are you even questioning which folder this was placed in??? All of the responses have been from males!!!!!!! Which proves, clearly, it doesn't matter where this is put. Men will still respond.

    But you are correct. This thread has become more about you and me arguing then Sativa's original post. I'll be the bigger man and make this my last response in hopes the thread can get back on track. It's an important question that shouldn't be overlooked simply because the girl was incorrect in specifying "men" in her second question. She was wrong. Several other posts have been made to that effect. No need to keep commenting on it. Help her!!!!
     
  17. B_Monster

    B_Monster New Member

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    Click ignore! Simple!
     
  18. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Appear off line on msn/yahoo/aim when you're on and only let people you know talk to you. Of course they could really check an block checker program but in reality.

    I don't know really... there is always a way they can find you.
     
  19. FunLovin.1

    FunLovin.1 New Member

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    I had the same problem. The first thing the guy in question said was "Im not a stalker or anything", Then he started asking how i was, then started demanding to know things about me, where i live, my bust, if i had more pictures. It went on for awhile.

    I just clicked ignore and blocked him from my Msn, Only thing i can advise to you. If its severe then contact an administrator :biggrin1:

    Oh and guys, I dont think she wanted to turn the thread into a discussion on how its not only men who stalk..
     
  20. B_Sativa

    B_Sativa New Member

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    Yes I was upset. Yes I was ranting. I by no means meant to offend anyone for specifying "men" in my post. In a way I was thinking out loud... wondering what I have done to cause the problem. I have done all mentioned advise, but in the end he will contact me from another account by a different name. My real concern is that there is some escalation in his obsession and I was hoping to get advise maybe from people who have had a similar experience. Those of you that have offered advise, thank you.
     
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