Stan On His Deathbed

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by steve319, May 15, 2005.

  1. steve319

    Gold Member

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    (forgive me if this has been shared already)

    Stan on His Deathbed

    Stan was dying. His wife, Esther, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber; He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

    "Esther my darling" he whispered.

    "Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."

    He was insistent. "Esther," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess."

    There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Esther, "Everything's all right, go to sleep."

    "No, no. I must die in peace, Esther. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

    I know, sweetheart," whispered Esther, "let the poison work."
     
  2. Altairion

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    ouch! I'll admit I didn't see that last part comin.
     
  3. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Here's the follow up, Steve.

    Chocolate Chip Cookies


    Stan lay dying in his bed.

    In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.

    Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled down the stairs.

    With labored breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

    Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

    Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted: the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

    The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with aspatula by his wife.

    "Stay out of those," Esther said, "they're for the funeral."
     
  4. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Oooooooh !

    Y'all are cold blooded! LOL! But they are funny!

    naughty
     
  5. geist

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    I think i saw a short film about this joke..
     
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