Start of Relationship

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Petherick_Poundlouder, Jun 18, 2010.

  1. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    Men & Women often differ on how relationships should begin. How do you like them to start? How have some started?

    This is my attempt at asking a question that doesn't relate to sex.
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    Are you asking for just the opinions of women or is it a more general question?

    Are you asking about all relationships or just straight ones?

    Would it perhaps not be more interesting to get all sides of the story and post this is the 'Relationships' section? And if not could you make your question more specific so we can understand why you are asking about this as a Women's Issue.

    I'm not trying to be a cow, I just want to be able to answer the question properly.
     
  3. HiddenLacey

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    I want any relantionship to start as a friendship first, you can have attraction to someone and just be their friend. I cannot have a relantionship with someone I do not think I know or trust.
     
    #3 HiddenLacey, Jun 18, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 18, 2010
  4. xX_Sarah_Xx

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    Hmmm... there has to be sizzling in the air. IMO, you can't really have that between friends. I somehow seem to draw a line there.

    If a guy interests me, and I feel attracted to him, I will not jump his bones. (I have the feeling guys would much rather like that, but... NO! :mad:) I do want to get to know them better and feel that I can trust them first. I'm very happily single, and he'll just have to prove he has what it takes to want to give that up for him. :rolleyes: If we did get to that point, I want the sizzling to take over though.
     
  5. dolfette

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    just friendly, flirty, getting to know each other stuff.
    i don't want to leap straight into you calling me every damn day, or thinking you have the right to comment on my life, my home, my kids or how i spend my time.
    keep things light, friendly and fun until we know each other well enough to decide whether it's worth taking seriously.

    and don't turn up to the second dae with bondage gear :mad:
     
  6. double_digit

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    Just bumping the thread with my feelings on it too -

    Definitely there has to be a common ground of friendship and communication. It is the SINGULAR most important cornerstone when trying to build a relationship atop of it. If there is no foundation, you cannot build the house. That simple. And if you fail on the house, then try a cottage - point is, the foundation is strong and existent.

    Giving into lust and passion of the moment makes for INSANE one night wonders that will taunt or HAUNT you for years afterwords that can be detrimental to your own sense of security or/and well being. *IF* your are insanely lucky, stuff like that can lead to a friendship - but then that is what it will ever be. That sizzle an pop too early kinda takes the mystery out of things if you indulge it. If you're unlucky - well, I try not to go there, or visit as often as possible, so I cannot speak too accurately.
     
  7. helgaleena

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    I have met many of the ones I had long relationships with through work or at social occasions like concerts and dance groups and conferences. It's the easy way to tell whether you have at least a few interests in common. Also when I lived in a student housing coop I had a few hookups with housemates. One of them later led to more after we both lived elsewhere.

    But I met my ex when I was working in a bookstore, and he turned out to hate the place and got me to quit. Bad omen.
     
  8. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I've had great relationships that started with mad sex on the day I met them.

    I've also had great sex with people I'd been friends with for ages.

    Either way works for me.
     
  9. MickeyLee

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    best relationship with a woman.. my most recent ex.. met her at a party, slipped the crowd with a bottle of wine.. talked for hours in cloistered company. nekkid before sunrise. remained so until the sun set again.

    i was with her for umm 3 years. still count her a bestest and most valued friend.

    best relationship with a man... the boy :biggrin: friends for years before either of us ever considered being anything more. have been with the boy for over two years. we kinda tripped and fell into what we are. there are few issues, likes distance and time spent apart, but the knowing each other for so long has given us enough common ground and familiarity with quirks/needs to not take it personal or let emotions fester to the destructive point.

    so, i've done both.. jump in and slow drift.. i guess i prefer which ever gets me hooked up to someone i care about and feels the same about me.
     
  10. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    This thread was posted in the Women's Issues.
     
  11. ManlyBanisters

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    I can see that. Don't get shitty with me.

    Your OP was vague - it still is. I asked fair questions. I can't be arsed answering if you won't elucidate. Fuck off.
     
  12. dolfette

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    it pays to be specific.
    could've been posted here accidentally.
    it's easily done.
     
  13. D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov

    D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov Account Disabled

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    Are you sure it doesn't relate to sex? It appears that to most men it does.
     
  14. dolfette

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    but to women it might not.
    hence the need to ask women.
     
  15. MickeyLee

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    Ms. Dolfette - :biggrin: thank you for quoting me and not exploding my brain with your super human mind powers.


    Wish-4-8 - neener neener neener neener
    :tongue:
     
  16. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    Wow. Meanie...

    I couldn't edit my first post. Plus, I asked first. :eek:
     
  17. THEDUDEofDestiny

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    You're young and you got your health, what do you want to go and get in a relationship for?
     
  18. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I like relationships to start in an unexpected way. The last couple i remember started from just a regular conversation and then exchanging phone numbers, talking for hours on end on the phone, maybe a little phone masturbation/phone sex, then doing more physically when you see each other again.

    I met my husband at a July 4th party at his house, i was invited by his roommate's gf. I brought my brother with me and my long time boyfriend of almost 3 years. I eyeballed my husband the whole time. I had no idea we'd be married 5 months later. it was crazy. But he knew where i worked, i worked with the gal who invited me, and he showed up there a couple of times. He still has my phone number i wrote on the receipt laminated in his wallet 12 years later.

    We went on a date about a week after we met, because me and my boyfriend were broken up again by that time. The rest is history!

    Unexpected, no friendships first. Totally lustful attraction leading to something more serious.
     
  19. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    I didn't say all that. Just never had a real relationship, so I'm trying to see what it's all about.
     
  20. EllieP

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    My last relationship started 12 years ago, and it's still going on even stronger. But it didn't start like any relationship I ever had before. I think my first one was a means to an end - I wanted desperately to be a mommy and it worked. But the relationship didn't. Not a good plan for a relationship.

    After years of terminal relationships I wasn't in the mood for any more. I had a shopping list that just couldn't be filled. Nobody had all the ingredients. So I tossed the list and resigned myself to be single forever.

    Well, boom. My best friend invited me to hear this band, and I really wasn't in the mood to go out but I did. He wasn't the lead singer, he wasn't the loudest player, he was cool as a cucumber and looked like nothing on my shopping list. But I was terribly in lust with him. To this day I cannot explain why I reacted that way, but I seriously wanted to get to know him better. I told myself he probably has more young groupies and would never bother with a single mom. Our eyes connected somehow and I felt like he was watching me the whole time. Seems he was. He finally came directly up to me and said a gentle hello. He was smelly and sweaty and a complete turn off - ordinarily. But I would have jumped his bones if he gave me the slightest signal. He didn't. I think if he had we probably would have ruined anything.

    Like I said, I've never had a relationship start that way before, but this one is forever. Oh, it's a roller coaster, all right. Lots of highs and lows, and I mean high highs and low lows. But we hang on and sometimes we throw our arms up high and ride it like crazy. He gets me more angry than any other man I ever knew. But he also makes me happier than anyone in the universe can.

    A relationship isn't happily ever after. You sail on that happiness over the rough drops, but you have to know how to do it. Otherwise you'll fall like a rock and won't have the strength to get up. It helps if you have someone to rely on to always lend a hand with the sailing.
     
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