Starting a family when you are 18-20yr old?

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

i want to clarrify, this is about the adults life and it being wasted. being a good parent has nothing to do with it.

Like if you where 80yrs old and had kids and got married at 18 would u regret it and think 'i should of spent more time fuking bitches'.

Yeah, total waste of youth in some people, they really do need to mature some before bringing any kids into the world.

 

[Unnamed]

there is no correct answer to this question.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

there is no correct answer to this question.

I agree with the above sentiment. The more important question to me is: why do you want kids in the first place? Just because you're able to, doesn't mean you necessarily should.

 

[musclebare9]

It really varies. I married young but my wife and I decided not to have kids for 5 years. When we got to the 5 year time, we decided we were having a lot of fun and would wait a little longer. We travelled all over the world and had a blast. Then when we decided to start a family, we found that she had some fertility problems. It ended up that our one and only son was born 12 years after we married. I am 34 years older than my son but because I keep very active there are no limitations as to what I can do with my son. We play football, hockey, baseball and run together.

I am glad that we didn't start a family when we were younger. We were able to do many things that we probably wouldn't want to do later in life. Health is a big part of it. Some who start their families early won't find themselves in good condition in their 40 or 50's when the kids are gone.

I would say that there are many who are too immature to start a family in the 18-20 year old range. They are too involved with themselves which proves to be unfair or harmful to young kids.

 

[_Jonesy]

I am friends with a couple who just had a baby in September and got engaged in November. She is 20 he is 19. They raise their child better than some older parents I've seen. They both work and have their own house and are doing very well for themselves. The age doesn't matter, it's just a number. It's the maturity level and readiness of the people involved.

This is nice, they sounded ready for it.

Unfortunately, everybody I know has a story that is very, very juxtaposed to this. They all get knocked up with no real financial structure and no marriage to speak of. They will continue to go out and get drunk while one may, if they're lucky, have a part-time job. Most of them use benefits mindst. The majority do end up falling apart, leaving the poor child without a family. It is quite sad.

I, strangely, feel ready to meet my wife and get married and have kids. I am only 21 but that is what I want and I know I want it... I just cannot find the woman and I am still somewhat emotionally immature and find it hard to control my mental state. I think I need to wait a few years for people to meet me halfway.

I have all these thoughts of meeting someone and being so in love everything that she does puts a smile on my face; to love doing things I always never enjoyed because I am doing them with her. I want to be able to see the world with her, have romantic meals in Paris and share the wonders of the world with her at my side. I want to not worry about myself because I always know she is there for me to love me.

After that I want to have children, so that I may feel a level of love and pride that will make my own problems seem pointless. I want to see the magic of Christmas in their eyes, while watching them grow into a beautiful and talented young adult.

This is such a fantasy and I guess everybody can relate, but this is not a dream for me. This is what I want to be for somebody else, because that is the person I am. It wouldn't be a waste for me, it would make me happy.

E: In this dream I wouldn't be married until 23 and wouldn't have kids until 24/25 though.

 

[musclebare9]

You sound like you are ready. You are focusing on others and not just yourself. I think that you would do well.

 

[Hoss]

is it a waste of youth? too me it is. I want to know your opinion, especially of those who have raised a family at a young age.

If a person doesn't want to start a family that is their business, whatever the age. If it is a couple then hopefully they share the same idea on family starting or delaying.

There are people had their children young and now enjoy their life in their 40s and up, and have plenty of energy to give to the grandchildren as they come along.
Others have their children in their 30s and 40s and are quite happy with that.

 

[B_625girth]

I would wait til my late 20's. in fact I was 30 when my first child was born, wife was 25. we were 26 & 21 when we got married. we didn't have a whole lot of anything, but we both had pretty good jobs. so the first few years, we bought & replaced used household stuff with new stuff. appliances, furniture, stereo, TV. had some decent cars. we also bought a boat for summer use, enjoyed an active social life, enjoyed living together with no one to answer to except each other, and thoroughhy enjoyed a very active sex life. our best friends were this couple that were married a year before us. we partied together, dined, movies, dancing, boating, shared our hopes and fears. they had sex 7-10 times a week, and we were doing 20 a week easy jus to give you an idea. we enjoyed fucking and having no interference. this went on somewhat after we had kids, have to make a few adjustments.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I don't think that having children young is a "waste of youth". You can still party and have fun, just not every day. I got pregnant at 18, had my son at 19. I'm 29, he's 10, and I don't feel like I've lost anything from it. I'm just excited that I'll be a young 37 years of age when he graduates high school.

 

[dirkjesje]

For me it was.

I married at 21, almost 22 - because my girl-friend was pregnant.
I interrupted my university studies to put some bread on the table.
It was a whole responsability, working, father and a wife still studying. (She was 19 )
After she finished school, I restarted my studies at age 26.
Till my 30 - we didn t have much money. Sure not to go out for making fun, not having a car, no holidays.
Because of that - the relation became bitter.
I waited till my son finished school, and I left at age 43, to become a single.

Wow, at 43 my late youth started.
At 43 I had only had 1 sexpartner, my ex-wife. So no much experience.
After a few one-night-stands I knew that this wasn t I was looking for. A thought I had bad sex with my ex, well this was even worse.
Lucky I felt in love with some-one ( married - she divorced after a half year ) and after more than 10years still together.
Sex is still good, however on a lower speed, because she's in her meno now.

What I know with my experience is that you can t relive your youth at 40.
You must grap it in your 20's. And at 18-19-20-21 starting with a family can be very hard.

 

[jeff926]

For me it was.

I married at 21, almost 22 - because my girl-friend was pregnant.
I interrupted my university studies to put some bread on the table.
It was a whole responsability, working, father and a wife still studying. (She was 19 )
After she finished school, I restarted my studies at age 26.
Till my 30 - we didn t have much money. Sure not to go out for making fun, not having a car, no holidays.
Because of that - the relation became bitter.
I waited till my son finished school, and I left at age 43, to become a single.

Wow, at 43 my late youth started.
At 43 I had only had 1 sexpartner, my ex-wife. So no much experience.
After a few one-night-stands I knew that this wasn t I was looking for. A thought I had bad sex with my ex, well this was even worse.
Lucky I felt in love with some-one ( married - she divorced after a half year ) and after more than 10years still together.
Sex is still good, however on a lower speed, because she's in her meno now.

What I know with my experience is that you can t relive your youth at 40.
You must grap it in your 20's. And at 18-19-20-21 starting with a family can be very hard.

very impressive to me.

 

[dude_007]

i want to clarrify, this is about the adults life and it being wasted. being a good parent has nothing to do with it.

Like if you where 80yrs old and had kids and got married at 18 would u regret it and think 'i should of spent more time fuking bitches'.

Uh....I think you've answered our own question there. Use birth control. For sure.

 

[travis1985]

This goes back 30 or 40 years and there is enough of a statistical sampling to make it valid. The percentages are significantly higher. It isn't like 45% vs. 40%. It is something like 70% vs. 45%

You didn't cite a source. Either way, the trend toward delaying marriage was well underway 30 years ago and waking 40 years ago.

 

[avatarng]

is it a waste of youth? too me it is. I want to know your opinion, especially of those who have raised a family at a young age.

yes, why would you want to do it. I have 2 cousins and both have children at a young age and when ask if it worth it. Both say no.
live life a little.

 

[D_CountVonBhigBohner]

I have friends who got married and had children at a very young age and wonder if they should have waited until they were older.

I have friends who got married in their late 20's and complained that it got harder and harder to find "the right one".

I have friends who got married in their 30's and had issues having children and had to look into other options to help them conceive and even look into adoption.

I have friends who got married in their early 40's and feel it's too late to have children because they will be old when the kids are in their early teens.

I have friends who never married and wish they did. Especially during the holidays wishing they started a family. They connect with old girlfriends from high school and college on Facebook to try an "relive the good ole' days".

I have friends who are married with a family, are miserable and screw around constantly.

...my point is...we always wonder what it would have been like if we went in a different direction. Whatever you decide to do with your life is YOUR choice...just make the best of it.

 

[798686]

I have friends who got married in their early 40's and feel it's too late to have children because they will be old when the kids are in their early teens.

This is my plan - but I don't think it's too late. Specially if you give them a lot of love, support, stable home, etc. Not a prob.

I would've preferred much earlier but I'm a later developer, so what can ya do?

 

[AlphaMale]

is it a waste of youth? too me it is. I want to know your opinion, especially of those who have raised a family at a young age.

I don't care which way you cut the cake, no one is grown and/or matured either mentally or physically between 18 and 20 years old.

That being said, it could potentially work. Albeit, it is my opinion that at that age successfully raising kids to their fullest potential while properly growing and maturing yourself would be very hard to accomplish.

Kids raising kids, essentially.

 

[1Cody]

Anyone that thinks it is a waste of time to have a family (children) at a young age, should not have them. You will always feel cheated and wonder what you were missing out on.

 

[D_Judith K Rantz]

I agree with the above sentiment. The more important question to me is: why do you want kids in the first place? Just because you're able to, doesn't mean you necessarily should.

This is my response. Enjoy your youth while you have it. Mature and figure yourself out, THEN have kids.

 

[cockaholic2]

As a guy currently in college, it's rather unthinkable for me to be starting a family right now. That's why I use protection.