Look, I happen to exist in a space wherein my wife have similar ideas of cleanliness, so admittedly I am looking from the outside in...but Im still trying to see who is expecting these women to step and deliver on this front on a increased level from men? Themselves? Is it these supposed men whom do not clean but expect cleanliness? Is there just some arbitrary standard of clean that women have collectively agreed upon, or are these interactions that should be established early on in relationships no different from emotional openness or financial stability?
Or else what realistically? Im dead serious, one of the most freeing things about having a baby with my wife(after having come into the relationship with her having a daughter) was the threshold for what was considered clean was reasonably relaxed. We found immediately our kids benefitted from this attitude change as we were already tired because of their young age and the mess that came with it, so we werent snapping at them or each other when something didn't get picked up or swept immediately. She started to pick up from me easy ways to mitigate the amount of cleaning to be done later, minimizing the efforts either one of us needed to exert to keep the household livable.
Im not debating that fact, Im trying to figure out why it has to be that way with choice and selectivity at your disposal. You can opt to make shared responsibility in housework as integral of a tenet towards your confidence in a relationship, as demonstrated sexual fidelity, and a general respect for women can you not? So if you'd leave your dude for cheating on you, or beating on you, or for demonstrating a generally misogynistic attitude, why not for lack of cleanliness to your or whatever subjective standard of clean you subscribe to?
Look, I too have my doubts as to the veracity and widespread nature of this problem but this is wholly unnecessary and divisive...I think we can be fully capable of defending men without insulting women.
I don't think "too much" is the argument as far as women, as opposed to "not enough" as far as men. What I do suspect though, is during easier times they opted to overlook an obvious discrepancy in the amount of housework being performed, a decision that only intensifies the frustrations that have arisen out of this crisis. I find it really hard to believe that all of a sudden, men whom were adeptly handling an equitable portion of household cleaning responsibilities are simply now slacking off.
The implication is that they are dropping the ball..my assertion is that the ball was already dropped and yall were just too enamored to care at the time...defense is the the wrong word(admittedly), just trying to identify root causes of frustrations.
Well if thats the case then wouldn't disproportionate household responsibilities be a secondary concern at best? If choice to be or leave a relationship isnt at your disposal than what real relief is his part of the household chores? Is it a case of "oh im not free to leave this relationship if i please, but at least he carries his weight come cleaning time"?
I think you're kind of right... to a point. In a lot of relationships, household tasks are often split between partners and I think a lot of times, that can be done along stereotypical gender roles. Yes, that's done by choice/agreement and no one forces this... but it happens a lot. Not always, but a lot. Think about how often the cooking and cleaning is thought of as a woman's work, and things like cutting the grass, taking out the trash and vehicle maintenance is a man's work. If everyone is home 24x7, there are lots more meals to make, dishes to do, items to clean up just by nature of being home. The grass doesn't need mowing any sooner, the trash still goes out on the same day of the week, and the vehicle maintenance has probably become less. Therefore, a woman is bearing a greater burden, just like SB posted. Granted, the woman can renegotiate "her" tasks at any point and SHOULD do so if she's feeling taken advantage of, unfortunately, not every man will consider it.
