Staying sexy for your lover as you age

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by sbat, Jun 7, 2010.

  1. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    I notice that over time, both men and women let themselves go physically and appearance-wise.

    For women and married men who read this forum - what kind of expectations are there in your relationships to maintain physical fitness? Are these self-imposed, or do you feel pressure? Or is it a desire that disappears over time? Why might it disappear?
     
  2. Countryguy63

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    When I used to be married, my wife was younger than I was. I always felt that it was a subtle gift that I could give her, keeping myself younger appearing and fit.

    Once she was gone, I realized that it was a gift I could give myself :wink:
     
  3. ManlyBanisters

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    More a relationships issue than a women's issue, wouldn't you say? I mean if this really is about both men and women.

    Or perhaps you started posting it about women not 'staying sexy' for their husbands but realised you'd get a new one torn for you.

    Who's to say. Still think I'll ask a mod to move it, though :smile:
     
  4. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    You're right, I was afraid dolfie would yell at me again :biggrin1:
     
  5. tinydick4u

    tinydick4u Member

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    I have health issues that have caused me to gain weight,bad knee,ankle,and hormone problems.Stress brought on by family issues have taken my youthful looks.This year I am working on all my issues and hopefully my health and weight issues will get better.My G/F has the attitude that I have always been big,I'll always be big.She was chunky when we met and hasn't lost any weight since having our kids.Her weight makes it difficult for us to have sex and it's causing issues with our relationship outside of sex.I love her and our children,but I may have to leave this relationship in order to get my health back inline.
     
  6. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    I'm late 50's, tall and lean. I work out a little, but have just been naturally blessed. in my early 50's I looked early 40's easy. but wrinkles catch up with you, and now I look my age, just very fit. I get "offers" from time to time, some from women who are 25 yrs younger. part of that is credited to my personality, and wisdom.
    my wife says I am still very sexy but she is post-menopausal and not that interested in sex. she has given me 3 children, but about 14 yrs ago, just started letting herself go. she is 60-70 lbs overweight. truthfully, I don't have much interest in having sex with her. I have an ED problem at times, and take Viagra when we do have sex. sometimes I feel like having sex with a younger attractive women, just to see if I got rock hard with an attractive partner, but my morals get in the way.
     
  7. SandraSmithCarver

    SandraSmithCarver New Member

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    I think it depends on the couple. Its much better to stay healthy together, but it doesnt always happen. I always thought I would want to stay thin, like I did when I was younger, but as I've gotten older and gone through rough times in my marriage, feeling unappreciated, and unloved at time, I just dont care; Menopause also is horrible for weight gain.
     
    #7 SandraSmithCarver, Jun 8, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2010
  8. SandraSmithCarver

    SandraSmithCarver New Member

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    Do you get hard from watching porn or looking at pictures of young sexy woman? Dr Oz says the penis is a good indicator of over all health
     
  9. dolfette

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    i'd hurt you good, little boy :cool:

    as for the question?
    i'm fucking fantastic!
    sod other people, because i'm doing it for myself. looking after myself, looking and feeling good for myself.
     
  10. sbat

    sbat New Member

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    You know you want to. Your bite is worse than your bark.


    This post was inspired by a trip to a youth soccer tournament with my dad, who coaches 3 teams. The soccer moms I saw ran the gamut from clearly working out too much to lacking any real shape. On average, I could see the girl that most of them used to be, and the extra weight they had put on since then. The fathers were almost universally formerly muscular upper body (now fatty) and beer gut - ages mid 40's to late 50's.

    Interestingly enough, the gay couples that I'd seen in DC at the same age were generally both not just in shape, but on the buff side.

    Just trying to figure out what makes some give up, or "lose it" while others are vain like dolfie :tongue:
     
  11. cbrmale

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    Personally, I look out for my health, so I eat sensibly and exercise regularly. As a result I look pretty good, especially for 52. After a while, wrinkles and ageing catch up, but I still look okay. My wife is a bit overweight, but only about 10kg or so, so not bad. She works at her appearance because she knows that women flirt with me, and she knows my morals can (and do) run to extra-marital sex.

    Honestly though, you can't put on weight unless you (a) eat too much or (b) exercise too little. Weight doesn't magically 'appear'. So all it takes is a bit of effort and self-control to keep looking good as the decades pass.
     
  12. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    I look after myself and the way i look for me,not for anyone else.My bloke obviously thinks i look gorgeous and tbh the older i get the better i look.Part of that is having confidance in myself,that shows thus giving me a glow...a gorgeous glow.
     
  13. musclebare9

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    Oh yeah, I want to look good for her. Both of us have been very health conscious all of our lives. We try to stay fit for each other but we also understand that there are personal benefits as well. About 4 years ago, my wife was diagnosed with agressive MS. It is more difficult for her now but she does what she can to remain as healthy as possible. Our relationship is built on more than appearance but jumping in bed with a sexy partner is always icing on the cake.
     
  14. Dave NoCal

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    This is something I deal with. In my case, although I am over twenty years my husband's senior, I exercise regularly and am ideal body weight. He is the same height but probably twenty-five pounds heavier. He does half an hour of cardio several times a week but otherwise is more inactive as he doesn't like yard work and I do. The real issue is that he eats more than I. We have the same dinner but he adds dessert and a late snack. He makes sweet rolls and I have two. He has the rest.... He complains of hunger maybe two or three hours after a full meal. He was neglected as a child and removed from his parents and I suspect he went hungry a lot. It seems like the idea that he might get hungry causes him to feel the need to feed. Although we have discussed it many times it never changes.
    This is THE MAJOR FRUSTRATION in an otherwise very happy relationship.
    Dave
     
  15. petite

    petite New Member

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    This is something I worry about. I know that I'm supposed to say that I exercise and look good for myself, but that wouldn't be the honest truth.

    I am older than TheBoyfriend. He still gets carded in bars and I don't. College-aged girls hit on him all the time. I think the youngest man to hit on me lately was 26. I know that he's loyal to me and that he loves me, but I still want to look as good as the women who flirt with him. I worry about getting wrinkled. I especially worry about my butt. He loves my butt and I don't think it looks as good as when we first met. Now I'm also pregnant, so I worry about how that's going to affect my figure. I worry about stretch marks and varicose veins from the pregnancy hormone relaxin. I'm already worried that I'm putting on weight too fast, but I'm afraid to not eat because I don't want to deprive the baby. I'm unsure of how many calories I'm supposed to be eating. :frown1:

    I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's MS. I hope that it progresses slowly. She's lucky to have you.
     
    #15 petite, Jun 9, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2010
  16. dolfette

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    stretch marks are sexy.
    if they weren't sexy, i wouldn't have them.
     
  17. petite

    petite New Member

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    :lmao:

    I love it!
     
  18. SandraSmithCarver

    SandraSmithCarver New Member

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    This is something I worry about. I know that I'm supposed to say that I exercise and look good for myself, but that wouldn't be the honest truth.

    I am older than TheBoyfriend. He still gets carded in bars and I don't. College-aged girls hit on him all the time. I think the youngest man to hit on me lately was 26. I know that he's loyal to me and that he loves me, but I still want to look as good as the women who flirt with him. I worry about getting wrinkled. I especially worry about my butt. He loves my butt and I don't think it looks as good as when we first met. Now I'm also pregnant, so I worry about how that's going to affect my figure. I worry about stretch marks and varicose veins from the pregnancy hormone relaxin. I'm already worried that I'm putting on weight too fast, but I'm afraid to not eat because I don't want to deprive the baby. I'm unsure of how many calories I'm supposed to be eating.

    I have heard that if you gain 25 lbs you won't have a lot of stretch marks, Vitamin E oil on the tummy helps. Talk to your doctor about how much to eat, I alwasy gained a lot of weight and cuz for me it was chow time when I was pregnant. But I alwasy lost it and looked good by the time they were 6 mos old
     
  19. tinydick4u

    tinydick4u Member

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    I thought I was the only one. :wink:

    I don't discriminate.
     
    #19 tinydick4u, Jun 10, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2010
  20. williamm

    williamm New Member

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    I think it's important to stay healthy, both for yourself and your partner. But, we should also have reasonable expectations as we grow older. We're not going to have the same body, mind, and emotions at 50 as we did at 25. To me, nothing is sexier than my partner being happy and confident in their own skin, and at this point in our lives, the "normalness" of our bodies. He's height/weight proportionate, but I'm glad he's not a gym bunny.
     
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