... a post that has nothing to do with the size of my dick, what underwear makes for a big bulge, comparing penis size with family members, or how people are becoming more and more modest in locker room. You can leave now if you want, lol My ex-g/f was literally the first woman I ever really KNEW that I was in love with. However, she was just not a good person. Part of why she decided to not have anything to do with me was that I put on some weight in relation to having an undiagnosed gall bladder problem that kept me out of the gym for over a year. I had it removed 5 months ago and Ive been back in the gym 6 days a week for the past 4 months. Sometimes I have this overwhelming disgust that she would be so shallow and yet at the same time I can honestly say I am still completely and utterly in love with her. I'm not one of those people who enjoy being with someone who degrades them, but being with her was always so easy for me. I never had to think about things because everything we did just seemed to happen without a hitch. Our conversations would flow from one topic to another with ease. It was almost like we were able to read each other's minds. TO be honest, it freaked me out a little sometimes. Sometimes I just think that she changed and it wasn't me at all, but I still can't seem to shake her. I just keep thinking about What If? and its been over a year now. I just keep thinking that maybe something will change and she'll come back. Ive not spoken to her in a year. I was in another relationship during the last year and it was great too. Cute, smart, funny, amazing sex, and lots in common. But ultimately I ruined it because of my issues with this past relationship. Its like I just cant get this girl out of my head and I'm scared to death its going to cause me to sabotage myself in future relationships. Any advice?