- Joined
- Jun 1, 2006
- Posts
- 6,059
- Media
- 9,231
- Likes
- 280,877
- Points
- 618
- Location
- Maryland, United States of America
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- 99% Gay, 1% Straight
- Gender
- Male
Sometimes it takes a bit of reflective maturity such as yours to put things in better perspective, Sabln9A! The experiences of any one of us, irrespective of generation, are valuable input and relevant to any intelligent discourse on this forum! To suggest that your viewpoint and experiences are irrelevant to any discussion is not what one is used to hearing or expects to hear in an enlightened , rational forum where discrimination of this or any sort is abhorrent!
Last edited:
Sorry for the bump... I know it's been a long time. Just thought I'd update you guys.
Lately, things fizzled out. He didn't say anything really dirty-minded, but did IM me occasionally saying things like "your mom" and asking me for advice on his homework. Today, however, he IMed me something totally random and a bit unexpected, but in a good way. There was this sexual orientation dialogue at my school, and I had my away message "adveriste" the meeting (what time, location, etc). Well, he IMed me and said "Pimp! Go gay Andrew! Be proud of yourself hah". It was so random and unexpected because I didn't think he exactly was FOR me being gay, if you know what I mean, and it just struck me as kind of odd in a way. I hope I'm making sense and not reading too much into this? What do you guys think?
Lately, things fizzled out. He didn't say anything really dirty-minded, but did IM me occasionally saying things like "your mom" and asking me for advice on his homework. Today, however, he IMed me something totally random and a bit unexpected, but in a good way. There was this sexual orientation dialogue at my school, and I had my away message "adveriste" the meeting (what time, location, etc). Well, he IMed me and said "Pimp! Go gay Andrew! Be proud of yourself hah". It was so random and unexpected because I didn't think he exactly was FOR me being gay, if you know what I mean, and it just struck me as kind of odd in a way. I hope I'm making sense and not reading too much into this? What do you guys think?
the only thing worse than U reading between his lines, and making mountains out of molehills, is having 20 random annonymous guys on here--who don't know either of you--adding to ur paranoia. the constant need for affirmation is at best a character flaw, and at worst a disorder.
only u know ur friend, only u have the tools to unwrap his messages. be confident.
Whoa, back up a minute. My paranoia? I don't have a paranoia at all. And, constant need for affirmation? How? All I'm asking for is your opinion of what he said... that's all. Since he keeps sending mixed signals.
ya, i repeat my position on this issue
i don't see how the opinions of people who don't know either one of you, helps.
if you're getting something out of it, go for it.
but from the sidelines, it doesnt' seem to have borne any fruit yet, just more split decisions.
i once made the offer to call your friend and sort this out in about 5 minutes and it's a standing offer if you warm up to the idea in the future. for some reason people always open up to me, even when i'd rather they didnt'. I'm good in diplomatic situations.
cheers
B_RedDude
Sexy Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2007
- Posts
- 1,929
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 89
- Points
- 183
- Location
- California
- Sexuality
- 99% Gay, 1% Straight
- Gender
- Male
Go easy on the guy, dude! These can sometimes be really painful situations. Haven't you ever been in one?!
no i haven't because unless you're in a coma, it only takes a minute to realize that the friendship either IS (A) or ISN'T (B) at the point where you could easily discuss being sexually attracted to him.
(A) if it IS, then just talk about it with him.
(B) if it ISN'T there's no reason to sit around wondering if he is or isn't into u. neither one of u is willing to put it out there, and leave your safe zone so why waste time trying to decode his txt's?
that simple
and if you don't know where ur friendship is, then it falls under (B)
It's nice he's been supportive of you, but doesn't necessarily mean he is into you. Probably different things.
I can understand a deaf gay man wanting to have a deaf gay buddy. Must be very difficult.
I can understand a deaf gay man wanting to have a deaf gay buddy. Must be very difficult.
Another small update... the other morning, he IMed me and asked me if I was sucking a dick, a clit, a banana, or a cucumber. Totally random. I IMed him back and he didn't reply. Weird. 
I seriously am still so confused about this! Conflicting messages right and left, and each "interaction" feeling like a bizarre off-step in a complicated maze. Heh.
I seriously am still so confused about this! Conflicting messages right and left, and each "interaction" feeling like a bizarre off-step in a complicated maze. Heh.
Andy:
I realize that I am not a man, so in some ways it may be different for guys. But I am probably old enough to be your mother, and I have way too much experience with women who send ambiguous messages. Some of these women have turned on me when they feared being exposed; these instances have been painful beyond words and at times quite ugly. On a good note, one woman actually was able to be honest with me after I was no longer attracted to her and we are now the closest of friends. She is able to admit that she gave me mixed messages because of her own fear, and she admits all of the "head games" she played, etc...
I can tell you that those who have been the most fearful have also been the most hurtful. I also suspect that you are in over your head with this guy. I recognize it because I have been there so many times. My sexual and emotional attraction for the types of women I describe has always overtaken any semblance of good judgement I might have had, and my sense is that is what is happening with you.
You may just need to see this situation through because there might be something you need to learn from it.
Good luck.
I realize that I am not a man, so in some ways it may be different for guys. But I am probably old enough to be your mother, and I have way too much experience with women who send ambiguous messages. Some of these women have turned on me when they feared being exposed; these instances have been painful beyond words and at times quite ugly. On a good note, one woman actually was able to be honest with me after I was no longer attracted to her and we are now the closest of friends. She is able to admit that she gave me mixed messages because of her own fear, and she admits all of the "head games" she played, etc...
I can tell you that those who have been the most fearful have also been the most hurtful. I also suspect that you are in over your head with this guy. I recognize it because I have been there so many times. My sexual and emotional attraction for the types of women I describe has always overtaken any semblance of good judgement I might have had, and my sense is that is what is happening with you.
You may just need to see this situation through because there might be something you need to learn from it.
Good luck.
Another update....sorry I keep "bumping" this post, but bear with me! *grins*
Once again, Art IMed me today... here's how the conversation went:
(I had an away message fooling people that I was no longer gay)
Art: Bullshit
Art: Ure gay
Me: *rolls eyes in defeat* damn! why can't I fool you? happy april fool's day!
Art: Lol cmon serious? Re u gay still right?
Me: umm duh? april's fools! that's why i put that away msg up
Art: Cocks!
Art: 4 cocks in ur mouth at same time
Art: And cum hard!
Art: Vanilla flavor
Art: Pimpppp!
Then....the big one!
Me: i have no clue what i'm gonna do on my birthday...maybe
birthday dinner with a friend?
Art: Up to u, I'd be busy on that day cuz of greek n stuff so
Me: if you weren't busy then what wld u like to do? for my
bday?
Art: Give u a free bj?
Art: Lol
Art: Naw
Kinda a bit revealing... although it was a joke.
Whatcha think?!
*grins*Once again, Art IMed me today... here's how the conversation went:
(I had an away message fooling people that I was no longer gay)
Art: Bullshit
Art: Ure gay
Me: *rolls eyes in defeat* damn! why can't I fool you?
happy april fool's day!Art: Lol cmon serious? Re u gay still right?
Me: umm duh?
april's fools! that's why i put that away msg upArt: Cocks!
Art: 4 cocks in ur mouth at same time
Art: And cum hard!
Art: Vanilla flavor
Art: Pimpppp!
Then....the big one!
Me: i have no clue what i'm gonna do on my birthday...maybe
birthday dinner with a friend?
Art: Up to u, I'd be busy on that day cuz of greek n stuff so
Me: if you weren't busy then what wld u like to do? for my
bday?
Art: Give u a free bj?
Art: Lol
Art: Naw
Kinda a bit revealing... although it was a joke.
Whatcha think?!
Principessa
Expert Member
Your friend Art is at best bi-sexual. I know, he has a girlfriend and is in a fraternity but he is NOT 100% straight. Straight guys don't joke around about having other guys suck their cock. The kind of stuff he texts you . . . is homoerotic at best.
Straight guys don't joke around about having other guys suck their cock. The kind of stuff he texts you . . . is homoerotic at best.It may be homoerotic to some and filled with suggestions for others but in reality he is teasing you and simply being playful. I don't think he realises for one moment the real effect it is having or that you are taking it seriously. I'm pretty sure he is a good friend and wants to know more about you; he may be curious about your sexuality but it probably doesn't mean he wants to do anything sexual with you.
There is a chance that if you fill him with drink and if he is in the right mood things could happen but it will likely only be once and it is will, more likely than not, ruin your friendship.
As to what you should be doing. Call his bluff. You are playing along. The next time he suggests something sexual do not give him a suggestive reply. Ask him outright to follow through on his suggestion.
If he suggests you sucking his cock ask him when and whether he wants to suck you as well. You also need to take his power over you away so be clear with him that he isn't the only guy you want, your a gay man after all.
There is a chance that if you fill him with drink and if he is in the right mood things could happen but it will likely only be once and it is will, more likely than not, ruin your friendship.
As to what you should be doing. Call his bluff. You are playing along. The next time he suggests something sexual do not give him a suggestive reply. Ask him outright to follow through on his suggestion.
If he suggests you sucking his cock ask him when and whether he wants to suck you as well. You also need to take his power over you away so be clear with him that he isn't the only guy you want, your a gay man after all.
Last edited:
