Str8 Mate Crush Update.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Flingz, Aug 9, 2011.

  1. Flingz

    Flingz Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    So if you read my last post you will remember that i started to develope feelings for my best straight mate and i thought i would just let you know how things are going and ask for some more advice.

    He went away for a few days and i really missed him, which made me more convinced that i had feelings for him. however i realised that what i 'loved' about being with him was that i could just talk to him about anything i would never of spoken to about to anyone. And ive come to the decision that he is the closest friend i have EVER had, which he also stated, at the moment i see this as a really strong Bromance =] which is i guess more special to me that anything sexual, not to say if he offered i would say no becuase he's still fucking hot =P which leads me on to my next point.

    When he came back we practically spent a whole week together and one night we got drunk and had the most honest discussion about sex, love, friends and even our dicks for a lil bit... and he's convinced that im not 100% gay and im sure there's a little bit of straight in me but we will see. He said that maybe one day he COULD have feelings for a boy, but for the moment he's not attracted to any boys. but he does find some boys hot.

    Now is he trying to hint something to me or not? i would hate to ruin what we have, but i would love to have just one night of experimenting with him..

    Thoughts?
     
  2. rd62624

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2006
    Messages:
    2,021
    Likes Received:
    251
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    va
    I am happy to hear that you two worked things out
     
  3. D_JohnUpHerPipe

    D_JohnUpHerPipe New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    0
    Don't go there, from what he has said I would translate it to mean, one day it is a possibility, but when that day comes it will be on his terms and it will be his decision to initiate.

    I could be wrong, and he may never want that with you as you are too close, but trust me when I say, good friends, especially as close as you two sound, are difficult to come by. Do not ruin your friendship for one night of sex, it really would not be worth it.
     
  4. Flingz

    Flingz Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks.. i think i agree, if he wants to and im open or not involved with someone when he does then ill be up for it. Hopefully it will be something serious and not just a one night thing, but beggers cant be choosers. but then im sure that will just bring another whole load of issues my way.

    But for now ill be happy to just have him as my best friend.
     
    #4 Flingz, Aug 9, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2011
  5. mandoman

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2008
    Messages:
    3,539
    Likes Received:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    MA
    It's all about trust.
     
  6. Flingz

    Flingz Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    In what way? i completly trust him.. he know more about me then my parents do
     
  7. B_patrickmcc

    B_patrickmcc New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2010
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    7
    I think its his way of telling you that he doesnt want to mess around with you, but that he accepts that you do.
    Think it was brilliant actually on his part. Gets his point across without either embarassing you, or judging you.
     
  8. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2002
    Messages:
    3,365
    Likes Received:
    6
    I have a question. You said that your friend convinced you that you weren't 100% gay. Given that you guys are such good friends, why would he need to make you straighter than you are? Speaking from personal experience as someone who hasn't always been as comfortable around non-straights as I am now, doing something like that may mean that they need to do something -- anything -- to take the edge off the possibility of their attraction to you. (Usually, the reverse is how it goes; you have to convince someone that they have and it's ok to have same-sex attraction.)

    Sorry, just that bit of your story struck me as odd. I'll still congratulate you on mending it with your friend; friends are great to have!
     
  9. Countryguy63

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    14,488
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,445
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    near Monterey, Calif.
    Verified:
    Photo
    ^^couldn't agree more!!^^

    I think the "trust" that he is referring to, is the trust that your mate has in you by opening up. Chances are that if you make a move on him, that trust will quickly deminish :frown1:
     
  10. Yurgle22

    Yurgle22 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2009
    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Newcastle upon Tyne (GB)
    DONT DO IT! Me and my friend were like that ... and although we ended up having sex, we now speak maybe once every three months, even though he lives round the corner, its just too awkward. Damn i miss him every day :(

    Although ... yours might play out better.
     
  11. Stephenmass

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,886
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston
    "And ive come to the decision that he is the closest friend i have EVER had, which he also stated, at the moment i see this as a really strong Bromance =] which is i guess more special to me that anything sexual, not to say if he offered i would say no becuase he's still fucking hot =P which leads me on to my next point."

    After this you pretty much say he said he is not interested in boys, maybe someday he said, but not now. So he told you in a nice way that he isn't into boys but didn't judge you because you are.

    A good bromance with a friend that you can confide anything in, etc., is VERY hard to come by. I'd take his friendship in a heart beat instead of a quick romp only to have the bromance get awkward and never quite the same again.
     
  12. B_Sweetcar

    B_Sweetcar New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Messages:
    130
    Likes Received:
    2
    I'm in kind of a similar situation. I have a friend I've known for years and we've always been close but have been getting even closer lately.
    To put it simply, he basically stopped seeing a girl he was involved with for about 10 yrs. We didn't see each other that much while he was going with her. She was kinda crazy, as far as I'm concerned; so I didn't want to be around him too much if she was around.
    Anyway, now that that's pretty much over AND he's BORED because he isn't working regularly; he wanted to resume the friendship.
    He's been spending a couple of nights a week at my house since last Feburary. He sleeps in my room on a mat on the floor right next to my bed.

    Well, we haven't done anything and I treasure the friendship too much to consider ruining it by trying to get him to do something he might not like. My boy friend is living with me and sleeps in a room downstairs. He knows about the relationship and in fact, the 3 of us for a long time were practally inseparable. There's no atempt to hide anything and we are totally honest and upfront with each other.

    Last time he was here, he started a discussion about guy/guy sex. Long story short, he said he's done it before but that's really not where he's at right now...Fine with me, and actually I'm glad we talked about that and I know where he stands.
     
  13. Flingz

    Flingz Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    He thinks im not 100% gay because ive never done anything with either sex, and that i told him that i when i watch porn i tend to watch more straight porn rather than gay porn, and when a guy does oral on a girl it turns me on. like i said he might be right.. but i feel at this moment in time im more sexually attracted to guys.
     
  14. Flingz

    Flingz Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Im sorry it ended that way, hopefully things could get better if you talk it out?
     
  15. Flingz

    Flingz Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks =]
     
  16. Flingz

    Flingz Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Ive never told him or made any kind of pass at him that i wanted to fool around with him.. ive told him that he's hot, but he knows he is.. and only because he was annoyed that i found his friend hotter than him (which he isnt on reflection)

    But i willl accept that he doenst want to have anything with me.. and i would prefer to have a strong bromance =]
     
  17. crushted

    crushted New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2008
    Messages:
    103
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Bandung, INDONESIA
    Wow a straight mate ;-)
    I want a straight mate too B-)
    Anyone? :O
     
  18. Flingz

    Flingz Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2010
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    You dont have any straight friends?
     
  19. southeastone

    southeastone Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2011
    Messages:
    160
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    uk
    For what it is worth I think you would spoil your friendship with him...but if he is as hot as you say maybe I could volunteer to shag him and then tell you about it??

    Sorry could not help that, x
     
  20. cheeseloglover

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2006
    Messages:
    394
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Damn, this thread really hits home. I'm pretty much in the same position as you. I've got a huge crush on my straight friend who also recently broke up with his girlfriend. I've had inklings that he wasn't completely straight (he tends to get really flirtatious with me when he's drunk), but reading this thread has made me realize it'd be better to not initiate anything with him. Kinda sucks, but the friendship's more important. Thanks guys!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted